AS THE WORLD GOES BY .sx Threatened Downland .sx There is no more beautiful walk in England than the one over the cliffs , called the Seven Sisters , from Seaford to Eastbourne .sx On the right the Channel , with its white breakers and emerald deeps , stretches away to a misty horizon ; on the left there is the whole glory of Sussex spread out as on a map .sx But we shall have to watch this walk very jealously , for there is some proposal toward diverting the cliff path at the fifth of the Seven Sisters and closing the footpaths to the valley of Cuckmere , which , on the perfect June day , is as near an earthly paradise as we can hope for .sx We have watched with some concern the building of unsightly bungalows in certain " shy fields " of Sussex .sx There is always talk of pylons , and many a road which was once as quiet as a temple is now noisy with the charabanc and motor-cycle .sx If this cliff walk is interrupted , the pedestrian will lose a happy hunting ground that has been a right of way for a very long time .sx The Eastbourne Chamber of Commerce , in protesting against this scheme , will have the support of all of us who occasionally escape into the rural altitudes of Sussex by the Sea .sx JOHN ENGLISH .sx LET US PRAISE NEW STATUES !sx Why I Like the Latest Negroid Lumps .sx By M.V. FLETCHER .sx I SEE that our Spanish friends , the new Republicans , have done only one rather naughty thing since they began their revolution last week .sx That was to behead the statues of Queen Isabella .sx I have a vague memory of that statue , as of others in the streets of Madrid .sx I do not regret it - as a statue ; whatever I may feel about an act of disrespect to the effigy of a lady I never knew .sx My memory of this work of art suggests to me that the Spanish Revolution has provided us with a useful precedent .sx VENTING OUR ANGER .sx When we get angry with Public Characters or Public Muddles let us remove a portion - a limb - of one of our statues .sx This will appease wrath , do harm to none , and do good to sculptors , who will always be busy repairing and restoring ; putting new heads on to old bodies ; and matching a fresh leg to its older fellow on the other side .sx In this way we shall keep our statues - if we must - and also keep our sculptors in work , so that they will not feel obliged to go on filling our streets with horses and men , chariots and emblems at which nobody looks , after the first few weeks of their erection - during which time bitter controversy rages about and against the statue .sx But that is not all I want to say about this statue business .sx I want to make a few remarks about the hardness of heart displayed by readers of the Daily Mirror towards the efforts of the very new or advanced and Epsteinised sculptures illustrated impartially in the picture pages of the Daily Mirror .sx A USE FOR THEM .sx Now these statues - these figures - these solidified remains - these broken and fragmentary lumps - do not excite my moral indignation .sx I see a use in them .sx I see a future .sx I see in the future an end to street statues - through them .sx For very soon - mark my prophecy !sx - a time will come when all the correct old-fashioned respectable photographic just-like-him sort of sculptors being dead , there will only remain for commissions , memorial and other , the new school of what-on-earth-is-it type .sx We shall then see - what we shall see .sx Sir Utterly Mediocre , having perished peacefully , after years of mismanagement of almost every department in Whitehall , a very natural demand will arise ( from nowhere ) to the effect that a Portrait Bust , a Plaque , or even a Pylon , should be erected , or imposed , or plastered on or near some celebrated site .sx But whom to commission ?sx I said it before .sx Sir Exactly Like will be dead .sx There will be little choice .sx The new men , the younger men - meaning the men under eighty - will be there .sx Try Mr. Fiery Face .sx His work is daring .sx It is undeniably unconventional .sx But " many people " - meaning several people in Chelsea - say it will live .sx Anyhow , like it or not , it's all you'll get .sx It's all Sir Utterly will get .sx There's no one else .sx Very well , then .sx Get on with it .sx Here it is .sx At the top of these remarks .sx As a specimen .sx And , mind you , I've asked my artist not to be too daring .sx He's to a certain extent respected the feelings of Lady Mediocre .sx But he's done the statue in his way .sx Like that .sx ENOUGH OF THIS !sx Immediately begins a murmur and a movement ; a groaning and a gathering ; a surge of protest ; an urge of desecration .sx Why , till now - till lately - we never so much as looked at our statues .sx But now that they've taken to being " nothing like " and dour , glowering and daring , we look ; we are concerned about it ; we revolt ; we .sx .. We may imitate the Spaniards - for aesthetic reasons , not political ones .sx Or we may , being so peaceful and stolid , leave Sir Mediocre ( as above ) and say , very firmly , to the Office of Works and all the other authorities that have anything to do with street decoration :sx " Look here .sx Or rather look at that .sx That is enough .sx No more of that sort of thing .sx It isn't good for children .sx It frightens animals .sx The birds won't perch on it .sx Never again .sx " And it will be agreed that there shall be no more statues .sx That , then , is why I welcome the new sculpture .sx Because I am convinced it marks the beginning of the end of street statues .sx On with the lumpishness of negroid clods !sx Proceed with the novelty of nuggets !sx BEWARE OF THE TAIL-TAX !sx Taking it Out of the Dog Will Not Work .sx REVENUE IDEA .sx BY MERRY ANDREW .sx The country is going to the dogs !sx Let it .sx I don't care what happens so long as the country isn't going to the dogs for money !sx Somebody has suggested that the Chancellor of the Exchequer should tax dogs on a sliding scale , as they do in Germany .sx He points out that in Wiesbaden , for instance , you pay 60 rmk .sx ( 3 ) for the first dog , 90 rmk .sx ( 4 10s .sx ) for the second , and so on .sx Speaking as a dog-lover and a bankrupt , I sincerely trust that Mr. Snowden will let sleeping dogs lie .sx I hope that his bark is worse than his bite , and that he will remember that the British bulldog was born free ( apart from that irritating 10s .sx licence without which no dog can have his one bite at the butcher boy) .sx In the old days the people had to suffer a poll toll .sx Are we to be threatened with a tail tax ?sx DOG POWER PROBLEM .sx For this business of putting a tax on a dog just as a dog is manifestly unfair .sx It must have been arranged by a man who couldn't tell a Great Dane from a Pekinese .sx There are dogs and dogs .sx Why , even a motor-car is taxed according to its horse-power .sx But I can quite see that it is not so easy to tax dogs on their dog-power .sx The wealthy women who stroll negligently about with armfuls of nasty , spoilt , languid darlings or spiteful , spitfire microbes , would come off too cheaply , while he-men who favour real dogs , such as Airedales and terriers , would be bearing the whole burden .sx As for the noble Newfoundland , the aristocratic Alsatian and the gentle St. Bernard - they would vanish from our streets for ever .sx There would be a sudden reduction in the size of dogs , and breeders , emulating the manufacturers of small cars , would strive to produce baby bloodhounds , midget mastiffs and pigmy poodles .sx Neither would it help if the sum were in inverse ratio to the size , for there are some quite nice small dogs .sx The Aberdeen has a price above rubies , and it would tax the powers of the Inland Revenue office to fix it .sx CUTTING A DACHSHUND .sx If it were a matter of mere length , ruthless owners of dachshunds might be tempted to cut down expenses by cutting down their dogs !sx This would be known as cutting a dash - but what would be the price of half a dash ?sx The tail-tax presents similar difficulties .sx It would give rise to a new industry - I won't go into de-tails - and we should see Manx dogs all over the place .sx Our poor little pets would be unable to express joy in the familiar doggy way , and would have to wag their ears !sx QUESTIONS FOR THE CENSUS .sx Why Not Find Out a Lot More About Everybody ?sx By ROBERT BENTLEY .sx ALREADY I see , in small villages and other places where they gossip , people are beginning to worry about the approaching census .sx I don't wonder .sx Rustic or citizen , manual labour or clerk , rich or poor - all of us have learned to distrust forms and questions .sx Because all of us have learnt , by woeful experience , that questions and forms mean ( as a rule ) taxes and payments .sx It would be kind if the village parson would go about explaining that , this time , the Census merely wants to know things because it wants to know them .sx We are numbering the people .sx That is all .sx " ONCE FOR ALL " .sx But the people , suspecting conspiracy , don't like answering questions about facts .sx That also is a fact .sx They are afraid - especially in small places - that the facts will somehow and some day be used as evidence against them .sx They think the fewer questions , the better .sx Here I disagree .sx I think that , now we are in for a Census , we ought to find out everything there is to be known of a statistical sort about everybody .sx Once for all .sx The other day I sympathised with a lady friend who objects to have it embedded in a blue book that this year she will be ten years older than she was at the last Census .sx " Women , like men , " she said , " are as old as they feel .sx " She suggested that it would be more sensible to make the age question , " How old do you feel ?sx " OPTIMIST OR PESSIMIST ?sx I agreed that at any rate that might be an additional question , because it runs with another suggestion of my own .sx I think people ought to be asked whether they are Optimists or Pessimists , and , of course , asking how old you feel is only a variant of the former .sx If I had my way I should seize the opportunity offered by the taking of the Census to acquire a lot of other information of national importance .sx We spend years in futile discussions simply because the essential facts concerning many questions are not known .sx For example , round about Budget time , scores of people write to the papers suggesting that bachelors be taxed .sx Or cats .sx We know how many bachelors there are , but who knows how many cats there are ?sx Why not include cats in the Census ?sx Then the Chancellor of the Exchequer would have something to build on .sx Again , there are suggestions for all sorts of so-called luxury taxes .sx Gramophones , pianos , mouth-organs , fur coats , spats , and many other articles have been designated .sx I suggest that these and other articles of luxury also be included in the Census .sx For my part I would ask for this information on sociological grounds , not merely for purposes of taxation .sx I hear spats are going out of fashion .sx CONFESSION BY FORCE .sx Such evidence would be of the greatest value to our statesmen , our pastors , and schoolmasters , and schoolmistresses .sx Think of the wearying debates there have been during the last ten years as to whether or not we are losing our stamina and becoming soft .sx Are we becoming soft ?sx I would settle this question in a very simple way .sx I would add to the Census paper the question :sx " Do you use a hot-water bottle ?sx " How many hot water bottles are there in this country ?sx No one knows .sx I think an interesting question would be , for married men only , " How much pocket money do you give to your wife ?sx "