A MUSICIAN'S JOKE .sx The late Sir Frederick Bridge , of Westminster Abbey , was a noted humourist .sx At a dinner of musicians the barking of a dog outside prompted him to call attention to de music of de Bach .sx Later on in the evening a cat got into the room and raised his voice , whereupon Sir Alexander MacKenzie capped his colleague's quip with a reference to de music of Debussy !sx RETIRING PERSONALITY .sx I am sorry to hear that Coun .sx J. Hague does not intend to sit for re-election on the City Council in November .sx His is a personality which will be missed on the Council .sx When other members were drowning in a sea of words , Coun .sx Hague could always be relied upon to bring them to the surface with some humorous comment .sx I suggest that as a graceful parting gesture he might donate his library of funny stories for exhibition in the Usher Art Gallery .sx FEMININE HOT .sx At a rally in connection with the Authorpe Women's Institute , a competition was held to see who could pack the greatest number of articles into a matchbox .sx The successful competitor managed to cram in about 218 .sx I do not know what the articles included , but it sounds a very good performance even for a woman .sx After all , they've been practising it for years with their handbags !sx BURDEN OF SEA AND FLOOD .sx Seasons of excessive rains mean ruin to the farmer - there are no two opinions about that , for , besides ruined crops , all who avoid danger by them have the additional burden to bear of sea defences .sx It is interesting to note that the farmers near the coast have for a long time urged upon Parliament that the question of the sea defences should be a national one , and not a local one only , as it has many times been too big a burden to bear in the districts affected .sx They claim that spread over a wider area or the expense made a national one , the burden would be easier to bear , and not , as now , loss upon loss .sx I note that in 1913 a high tide in the Boston area caused the sea defence rate to rise to the abnormal figure of 13s 8d an acre , whereas the normal rate at that time was 3s .sx The necessity of the sea defenses was recognised from Roman times , while in 1298 Edward I. levied an assessment on all who had land , to keep drains in repair .sx A VILLAGE FATHER .sx An old inhabitant of Nettleham died on Wednesday and was buried yesterday , Charles Bolden , aged 85 .sx For over 57 years he had lived in the same house , and he and his wife were looking forward to celebrating their diamond wedding at Christmas .sx They had fourteen children , and eight survive .sx To talk to this forefather of the hamlet was a treat .sx He used to work at times on the estate of Riseholme , in the days of Bishop Wordsworth , and he would tell how young men coming to interview the Bishop , as to Ordination , would stop and chat with him .sx One day one of them , in fear of the great scholar , confessed to the woodcutter Weldon that he would much rather stay and help to cut a tree down than cut the sorry figure he expected to be in the exam room .sx Mr. Weldon was a great authority in woodcraft , but took an interest in everything and everybody .sx He remembered Miss Elizabeth Wordsworth , who is still alive , and he knew the Hollyhock Walk at Riseholme , now extinct , which she has described in her book of poems published this year .sx Of course he knew Archdeacon Kaye and his family .sx And besides the family trees he knew every tree in the lanes , woods and fields .sx One more village patriarch has passed .sx How bowed the woods beneath his sturdy stroke .sx It does the reader good to scan Gray's immortal elegy , while thinking of such genial men as Charles Weldon .sx ANIMALS AS WEATHER PROPHETS .sx There are many country folk in Lincolnshire who can more or less accurately predict the weather without the assistance of a barometer , but by observation of the behaviour of animals .sx An article in this week's Field reminds me of some of these recognised signs .sx If a cat sneezes , says the writer , or if the goat utters a particular cry it is a sign of rain .sx Other indications of wet weather ( which I hope will be absent for some time ) are the noise made by rats and mice , the eating of grass by a dog in the morning , a cat washing her head behind the ear , cattle lying down early in the day , and lowing , the restlessness of horses .sx Pigs are restless and squeal loudly before a storm , foxes bark at night and cats rub themselves against an object .sx BOULTHAM LAKE .sx A woman in Boultham Park on Sunday to her companion rather exaggerated the danger which children ran in venturing too near to the edge of the lake .sx She said she had been apprehensive one or twice watching them playing .sx In addition to the usual emergencies life-belts at intervals round the lake , a steward is nearly always at hand .sx AUGUST ICICLES !sx Mareham-le-Fen experienced severe frosts the last week-end , and icicles did really hang from the wall, in the phrase of the local proverb .sx In the August sun could be seen heavy crops of corn white for the harvest into which the reapers plunged before the icicles had really vanished .sx HOW'S THAT ?sx One of the customs in friendly cricket matches locally is for members of the batting side to take turns into acting as umpire , and this led to an amusing incident the other evening .sx A player who is the wicket keeper for his side was umpiring while two fellow members of the team were batting .sx While the batsmen were attempting a short run , the ball was returned sharply to the end at which he was umpiring .sx Automatically he took the ball , whipped the bails off , and cried How's that ?sx REV. G. H. HARRIES .sx I understand that it may be some months before the Rev. G. H. Harries , the vicar of Burgh , will be able to take up his new duties at St. Martin's , Lincoln , - but I think he will be assured of a warm welcome whenever he comes to the city .sx He served with distinction during the war and was awarded the Military Cross .sx There are many men of the 4th and 5th Lincolnshire battalions who can vouch for his popularity as a padre .sx At the end of 1918 he married Miss Margaret Butler , daughter of Mr. Hugh Butler , of Kirkstall , Leeds , who was conservative M.P. for North Leeds a few years ago .sx They have one child .sx THE SPEEDWAY .sx I notice that it has been suggested that the T.T. races in the Isle of Man may be abandoned and that suggestion will immediately raise a question in the minds of many as to the projected speedway on the Wash , between Skegness and Boston .sx The absence of news of developments has given rise to rumours that the scheme has been abandoned .sx On the contrary , arrangements are going ahead .sx A Bill is to be laid before Parliament during the coming session to give the Automobile Racing Association statutory powers .sx The company is to be registered as a non-profit making Association , limited by guarantee and having no share capital .sx All income must , under its provisions , be applied solely to the promotion of the objects of the Association , and particularly to benefits and facilities for its members .sx A very large membership is expected , and application can now be made at the offices , 22 , Surrey-street , Strand , W.C. .sx FIFTEEN MILES OF SEAFRONT .sx When the sea bank between Boston and Skegness is constructed the Association will possess sixteen square miles of reclaimed land , and fifteen miles of seafront .sx The whole of this great area will be planned with one object - to give better , cheaper and more constant recreational facilities to the people of the whole of the country .sx Every form of sports and open air enjoyment will be provided for .sx When we consider from what great distances people already travel by road and train to Skegness , it is not pure imagination that suggests that we may in a few years have here on the coast of Lincolnshire a pleasure and sport resort which will attract great numbers of holidaymakers and excursionists from all over the country .sx It will undoubtedly be a great thing for Lincolnshire if the scheme comes to full fruition , as there is no reason why it should not .sx TO DARLEY DALE .sx Lincoln people will be interested to learn that Mr. and Mrs. James John , the former managers of the Picture House , have acquired a business in Darley Dale , Derbyshire .sx Mrs. John is well on the way to recovery after her recent severe illness , and they are both looking forward to an active business life .sx If they make as many friends in Darley Dale as they have made in Lincoln , they will not find life in their new sphere lonely .sx DIMMING LIGHTS .sx Dr. Brook's comments at an inquest he conducted at Lincoln on Tuesday , again raise the question of the wisdom or otherwise of switching off the headlamps when a motorist is approaching other traffic .sx When he does so , the motorist is certainly compelled to drive blindly for a few seconds , especially if the lights of the oncoming car are not swished off also .sx The danger is not only that he may be so dazzled that he may drive into the other vehicle , but also that he will not see a cyclist or pedestrian who may be in the dark ahead of him .sx The ideal thing is , of course , that all cars should have dipping gear or dimming device , so that dazzle is eliminated without loss of guiding light .sx Drivers of cars without such dipping or dimming lights should slow down to a crawl , and hug the left side of the road .sx To do anything else is to take terrible risks , as frequent fatalities have proved .sx A NEW WORD .sx A witness at Lincoln Police Court on Wednesday coined a new word .sx At any rate , it was the first time I , and many others , had heard it , but the frequency with which it was used led me to think it was not new to him .sx The word was de-accelerate, meaning to pull up .sx I have always been under the impression that the word for use in this instance should be decelerate .sx EXCAVATIONS .sx In a picture I saw the other day of work on the construction of a new bypass road from Guilford to Godalming I noticed that the excavator in use was a Ruston-Bucyrus .sx This reminds me that when in the South of England recently I saw several Ruston-Bucyrus machines at work on road widening operations .sx One was on a main road in the Chilterns , and another just outside Worthing .sx I also saw a R.B. machine at work on the extension of the parade at Hunstanton .sx HOW TO GET GENESIS .sx Some tastes are acquired , e.g. , the taste for tomatoes , oysters , and cubic art .sx The first time you see Genesis, you will perhaps not care for it .sx You may be like the man who unpacked it , on arrival , who got quite a start .sx So pay up cheerfully your first sixpence , consoling yourself that it will go to helping the Usher Gallery , and then leave off saying , ghastly failure, lopsided, horrid and gawky .sx Sleep on that , and the next day think it over .sx Think of another stein of Einstein , of relativity .sx Look at this .sx Is it a plane figure , or is it some steps , and does it turn right or left , or is it a fourth dimension ?sx SOMETHING ROUND THE CORNER .sx Having thus discovered that there may be something round the corner , spend another sixpence to spite your Aberdeen tendencies .sx On the second visit to the Gallery , walk slowly round Genesis twice .sx See it from all points .sx Get well rid of the idea that it needs a background , for it doesn't .sx Art does not exist in vacuum , and the cases round the room , the pictures on the walls , the seats , and even the other visitors standing behind the figure , will help to create your good taste .sx