Frederick Knowall says he really does not know how all these other houses keep going .sx " Teas for cyclists and them sorts , " he suggests with a touch of scorn .sx Certainly there has been a great recrudescence of the push cyclist .sx In fours , dozens , even a score at a time , they flit silent as moths along the road at all seasons .sx They come from somewhere ; they are going somewhere ; against time , speechless , bent double over the handle-bars , sterns up , faces earthward , pedalling desperately , seeing nothing but the road .sx If you do not get in their way , they are very inoffensive and noiseless .sx These are not beer drinkers , and they must require oceans of tea and soft drinks to enable them to keep going as they do and thus they keep our six other pubs going .sx Mine host at the ` Frogs ' has a benevolent face a foot wide and growing wider .sx I do not myself think that many homes have been rendered less happy by the ` Frogs .sx ' I know that if I possessed a very small cottage , a large family and a busy wife , I should look on the ` Frogs' as the best place I could go to at night , in the interests of all concerned ; and I should go there regularly .sx It would be my club , and I should have my pint there and enjoy the society of my fellowclub-men and learn all about everybody and everything .sx Not going to the ` Frogs ' myself , I yet profit by it through the medium of Knowall a regular club-man .sx Without him I should be sadly out of step with the affairs of the pump .sx From the ` Frogs ' per Knowall I get many a good gardening tip .sx If I want a load or two of manure and it is hard enough to come by these days Knowall meets and bargains with the very man , for a " nice load of pig's , sir not 'orse and sawdust wot they uses nowadays for straw .sx " And next day the nice load comes steaming , most offensively , down our lane , and is valued as beyond rubies .sx If I want a load of firewood , it is negotiated over the bar at the ` Frogs ' ; special wood h'oak , not h'ellum , kep' a matter of two year .sx In fact , nice wood ; and its price expressed in half-crowns , because it sounds cheaper like that , and , of course , nicer .sx Wood is reckoned in loads .sx But most other things , including our rain , are reckoned in nice drops .sx As to the betting , Knowall as a military man has sampled wickedness in all its forms all over the world .sx He can speak about it with a balanced judgment ; and he says that the betting at the ` Frogs ' is nothing to hurt nobody .sx I hope so .sx But I like my thrill , and I shall nudge you when we pass the ` Frogs .sx ' V. ON OUR JOLLY YOUNG WATERMEN .sx I only recently realised what a crowd of enthusiastic young oarsmen lived down our lane .sx I doubt whether any of them have ever seen a boat , much less been in one , or seen any sort of boat race .sx It was on 21st March last that I was woolly-minded enough to issue from my home into our lane without recollecting that it was Boat Race Day .sx I became dimly aware , however , that there was some great national event toward , when I met a large light-blue favour to which was pinned my young neighbour Betty , aet .sx two years .sx She was staggering along under full sail towards the nearest puddle to put things right with her starchy frock .sx For removing starch some people use one thing , some another , but Betty finds muddy puddles the best .sx Round the corner , and in full cry after their starchy charge , I met two young female keepers .sx These , too , were wearing light-blue favours .sx And farther on were half a dozen urchins of both sexes , all hopping on the right leg and propelling stones with their right toes .sx These also were , to an urchin , heavily favoured in light-blue .sx I realised at last that it was .sx Boat Race Day , and that the odds down our lane were all .sx Cambridge .sx Prominent amongst this crowd of jolly young watermen was an im- .sx mensely knowing-looking card .sx called Jackie .sx He has the blackest eyes and the dirtiest face I know .sx Of the latter about two-thirds was concealed by a burglarious cloth cap .sx I could just see the glint of eyes far back under the peak .sx The rest of him was habited as a young yachtsman the Cowes Week type .sx I asked this infant sportsman why he was wearing a light-blue rosette .sx He answered , " 'Coz I'm Kimebridge .sx " I asked him why he was Kimebridge .sx He answered , " 'Coz Kimebridge always wins .sx " I asked him why Kimebridge always won .sx He answered , " 'Coz she runs faster 'n wot Oxford do .sx " And sure enough within three hours of the receipt of this young tipster's information , Cambridge had run all the way from Putney to Mort-lake ever so much faster than Oxford .sx Jackie and his compeers take no interest in our other great national sporting events .sx The passing of the hounds through a village stirs , of course , every country heart .sx Elections mean a school holiday , not at all appreciated by mothers and not always by the children , who seem to have a good many of these off-days .sx Grand Nationals mean nothing to them , and Derby Days little more than six cars a minute down the street .sx May Day , with its garlanded staves and doggerel , is a thing of the past .sx It is the Boat Race .sx with its blue rosettes that appeals .sx But , of course , nothing can touch Guy Fawkes Day , because squibs and bon-fires are simply glorious things , much more risky than rosettes .sx Besides , you can prolong and anticipate the day .sx Our squibbing season , for instance , opens in the third week of October and closes about mid-November .sx VI .sx ON OUR RAILWAY STATION .sx Within about two bow-shots of our pump is what may be called an object of growing archaic interest to wit , our railway station .sx I often think that Mr Lansbury had better secure it for a park before it matures into an ancient monument and its price goes up .sx It is already assuming an air a cloistered air .sx Meanwhile there it is , a good specimen of a rural railway station very little used now , rather toy-like in its ultra-trimness , especially its overbridge , which is of cardboard cleverly painted to resemble stone and timber .sx There are green lawns , neat flower-beds , a bower of rambler roses with a rustic seat , well tonsured privet hedges and an air of infinite repose .sx Anyone might do a rest cure here .sx The three porters do .sx Some-times they trundle empty milk-cans about .sx Sometimes they dig in their vegetable gardens ( on the company's ground) .sx I often think the poor fellows rather overdo themselves here .sx It is not as if they were accustomed to hard work .sx Then there's a station-master and a clerk and a splendid service of trains .sx But very , very few trains remember to stop at our .sx railway station .sx We all travel by bus , so it does not matter .sx But even our quiet station can provide a thrill .sx At least three times a day the station-master , who lives a few hundred yards from the station , rides a flogging finish with the few local trains which stop here .sx It is like this .sx By agreement , the local , up or down as the case may be , lets off a cloud of steam at what may be called the distance post .sx The station-master , sitting in his parlour , sees this signal , and in three successive bounds is into his hat , on to his bike and into his peddling-stride down the road to the station .sx The engine-driver , as he glides up to the far end of the plat-form , thinks he has the race in hand and takes a pull .sx The station-master at this moment has 331 yards to go .sx He is sitting perfectly still , but riding with his head .sx You would say that it is all Lombard Street to a brass orange on the train .sx What passes now is a mere blur on the eyeball .sx A slow motion picture might cope with it but I doubt even that .sx The station-master goes whirring through the wicket-gate on to his platform , doesa flying dismount of astounding agility , disappears into his office , and his well-trained courser , pedals still revolving , lays itself deftly against the wall and comes to rest .sx But almost before the last quiver has died from its iron frame , its rider , new in full dress ( he was in civilian garb barely two seconds before ) , reappears , and by the time the train has drawn up , he is pacing coolly along his platform , like a captain on his quarter-deck , opening doors , taking tickets , bowing to acquaintances .sx He reaches the engine , he exchanges a word or two with the chief occupant of the cab .sx I do not pretend to know what the station-master says probably some-thing about the weather or mildewed roses .sx He is not the man to exult over a beaten adversary .sx And then the train moves on , and the station-master gets out of uniform , which is a peaked cap , and into civilian garb , which is a bowler ; and once more peace reigns .sx But even in the best-regulated stations accidents hap-pen .sx We had one here involving the loss of two lives .sx It happened as follows .sx Our goods shed is a long , rather tunnel-like building .sx Two swifts were approaching this one afternoon , flying a few feet apart , in the same direction and at speed .sx it happened that the line of sight of one of the birds took him just inside of and through the goods shed , while that of the other took him just outsidethe shed .sx Thus the birds , though continuing their flight on parallel courses , lost sight of one another .sx Unfortunately they also forgot one another .sx The swift , inside the goods shed , having cleared it , ported his helm .sx His mate , outside , at the same moment star-boarded his .sx Thus they met beak to breast , and both fell dead .sx " Two swifts crashed .sx " This was the laconic 'phone message sent by the stationmaster who kept his head perfectly throughout to our bird enthusiast , who lives seven miles away , and who within half an hour was upon the scene .sx It was he who supplied me with the details of this tragedy , which he said would be of the greatest interest in ornithological circles .sx After dark , shunting operations begin at our railway station .sx That is to say , a somnolent engine which has been snoring out of sight somewhere I have never discovered where all day , emerges , and makes pleasant , slumbrous , clinking , clanking noises by gently nuzzling and poking about a few trucks .sx It is a lullaby to all the village , and ceases before midnight .sx There is no meaning .sx or arriere pensee about it .sx It is .sx a sort of tradition of happier busier days when trucks really wanted shuffling .sx And the company keeps on doing it because it has always been done .sx I know this , because in the morning the truck with ` E. Tuff .sx on it is always up against the buffers and full of ( obviously .sx property ) coal , while next it is ' T. Miskin's ' truck , also coal ; and next it several other named trucks , all containing property stuff , and always standing in exactly the same order .sx There is another toy adjunct to our station , a two-storeyed erection :sx bottom storey of bright-red brick ( very well simulated ) , upper storey chiefly glass .sx Inside the glass are geraniums and bright steel levers .sx This is the signal-box .sx It stands quite apart from the station , and its occupants assure me that they owe no allegiance to the station-master .sx They live aloof in their little glass house and behind their geraniums , and deal with the remote and the unseen through their private telephone .sx Now if during the season of football you happen to be hanging about the railway station , say on a Saturday afternoon and at about 4 P.M. , and if you keep your eye on the signal-box , you may see the following .sx First there will be a going in the tops of the geraniums .sx