" What the devil is the meaning of this foolery ?sx " he roared .sx And then , a choking voice , " What's that thing , on your head ?sx " " Please , Sir , I think it's a halo , " Mr. Thimblepenny ventured to explain .sx " A halo ?sx " echoed the financier , though reversing the natural order of foes in that the repetition was very much louder than the original .sx " A halo !sx And what in the name of thunder is that ?sx " He had a hazy recollection that had come across the word once or twice during the cross-word craze but could not remember the exact definition .sx " It's a thing that saints wear , " Alfred began .sx But this was too much for r. Guggleheim .sx He was an astute man of business and knew a good thing hen he had got it :sx and Mr. Thimblepenny , if not brilliant , was entirely liable , which suited Old Guggles' purpose very much better .sx He was keen , conscientious , and never minded putting in a little overtime now and again , without expecting to be paid for it .sx He would have some difficulty in replacing him .sx In short , Mr. Guggleheim had no desire to lose the services of such a paragon .sx At the same time he was a strict disciplinarian and decided that ' discipline must be preserved at all costs , even at the cost of a conscientious cashier .sx If a senior clerk turned up in a halo , what was to prevent the juniors appearing in false noses and paper hats ?sx No !sx Strong and prompt action was early called for .sx With a few firm strides he crossed the floor and reached the door leading into the outer office .sx He opened it and indicated by a jerk of his head that he wished Mr. Thimblepenny to pass out .sx " This is neither the first of April nor the fifth of November , " he said grimly .sx " I will give you twenty-four hours to come to your senses , from which you have evidently departed .sx If by that time you have managed to divest ourself of that fragment of fancy dress , and have learned to distinguish between a counting-house and a carnival , we'll say no more about it .sx Otherwise you may consider your relations with this firm definitely severed .sx Good morning .sx " Poor Alfred crept through the office , past rows of stools on which were perched stone statues of junior clerks captured by the sculptor in various stages E suspended bewilderment .sx Scarcely knowing what he did he took his hat from the peg and awoke to find himself once again in the street .sx He had been dismissed , and for no fault of his own rather for his lack of faults .sx It seemed very unfair .sx But the full significance of what had happened did not yet dawn n him .sx For the moment his main concern was how to avoid arousing the curiosity of his fellow pedestrians .sx He was relieved to find that it was still Lining heavily , and by selecting the side streets and keeping close under his umbrella he succeeded in escaping attention .sx But it was clear that he could not go on doing this for always .sx Sooner or later the rain would stop and then there would he be ?sx Besides the pangs of hunger began to make themselves tit .sx A restaurant would mean being parted from his umbrella :sx a thing notto be thought of .sx He looked about him for a coffee-stall and eventually found one .sx But the labour and the anxiety of trying to drink a cup of coffee in such a manner that the top of his head was never visible to the man behind the counter quite discounted the pleasure he might otherwise have gained from the consumption of this much-needed refreshment .sx However , he bought some .sx sandwiches and ate them as he went along .sx He cared little about the direction in which he was walking , but looking idly round to discover some familiar land-mark he saw a solid-looking red brick mansion standing out somewhat conspicuously among the rows of middle-class residences .sx A brass plate on the door of the house bore the inscription , " The Archdeacon of Upper Tooting .sx " Here was an eminent churchman who surely might be able to help him out of his difficulties .sx The wretchedness of his position gave him the necessary courage to walk up the steps and ring the bell .sx A maid answered the door .sx Was the Archdeacon in ?sx He was .sx Could he see him ?sx He could .sx Would he walk in ?sx He would .sx Would he mind waiting a minute ?sx Not at all .sx So eventually he was ushered into the Archdeacon's study , just as the venerable gentleman ( though Venerable only in a titular sense , for he was barely middle-aged ) , was closing a book which had been engaging his attention .sx It was called Faith reinforced by Finance .sx " Ah , good afternoon , Mr.-er-er , " began the church dignitary , rising from his swivel chair , and straining his ear for the voice of the prompter .sx " Thimblepenny , " said Alfred , coming to the rescue .sx " Ah , quite so , Thimblepenny .sx I knew your face perfectly , but I could not for the moment put a name to it , " continued the Archdeacon with that tact which so endeared him to the diocese .sx " Now where have we met before ?sx " I don't think we have ever , " Alfred was forced to admit .sx He regretted being obliged to embarrass his prospective benefactor but could see no way out of it .sx The Archdeacon looked slightly nonplussed ; but it was not the first time the bluff had failed and he had the common-sense not to make things worse by any unconvincing explanation .sx " Won't you sit down ?sx " he asked , covering up his tracks , and , being slightly short-sighted , added " and take off your hat ?sx " " It's not a hat , " stammered Mr. Thimblepenny , " it's a halo .sx " " Oh yes , I see , quite so , " said the Archdeacon , not to be caught napping a second time .sx " A halo .sx How very interesting .sx " He held up his glasses and examined Alfred's scalp rather like a hairdresser looking for incipient baldness .sx " Yes , yes , certainly most interesting .sx A halo .sx Then presumably you are a .sx .. " He waited for his visitor to finish the sentence .sx " A saint , " whispered Alfred , rather shamefacedly .sx " Exactly .sx Very pleased to meet you .sx I quite imagined the race was extinct .sx One so seldom sees them nowadays except in stained glass windows that I fear one had got into the habit of classing them with the Dodo and the Great Auk .sx " " I don't think there are many , " sail Alfred , and hit face flushed a little with pride .sx " Charles the First was the last one we actually added to the calendar , " the cleric went on , " and unfortunately we took off his head before he had a chance of wearing his halo .sx " " It saved him a good deal of trouble , " murmured Alfred .sx " A halo makes one very conspicuous .sx It's so , er .sx .. so old-fashioned .sx " " Well , if it comes to that , so are gaiters , " said the Archdeacon with a laugh .sx " But one gets used to anything in time , even to jokes about Scotch-men in mourning .sx How long have you been a saint , if it is not a rude question ?sx " " Only since this morning , and that's quite long enough .sx " " Well , well , what can I do for you ?sx " the Archdeacon asked , more to fill up an awkward pause in the conversation than from any very philanthropic motive .sx " I thought perhaps you might be able to help me .sx I've got the sack .sx " .sx " Then all you want to complete the picture are the ashes , " chortled the Archdeacon , who was noted throughout his archdeaconry for his ready wit , which in the opinion of some , however , was not always in the best of taste .sx Alfred resented the flippant tone the conversation was assuming , and the Archdeacon , seeing that his jest was not too well received , asked Alfred why his services had been dispensed with .sx " I don't think Mr. Guggleheim cared about having saints in his office , " Alfred explained .sx " Saints in the city !sx I should think not .sx A contradiction in terms .sx You might as well talk of saints in the church !sx " .sx " That is just what I was going to talk about , " put in Alfred , meekly .sx " I thought , perhaps , being more or less in the same line of business , as you might say , you would be able to find me a job .sx " " Out of the question , I fear , " said the Archdeacon , becoming more serious .sx " What we want in the church are business men , great organisers , men with a punch who can get it across , if you understand me ?sx " " But I have been in business .sx " " Yes , yes , that's true .sx But I am afraid you would find your " tapping his head , " your nimbus an insuperable obstacle .sx You see it is no use having a business head if your halo will not allow you to use it .sx Now in this book I am reading the writer points out that Church Finance is just as important as if not more so than , " he tripped up a little over his particles , but finished triumphantly , " the Church's Faith .sx " " I see , " said Mr. Thimblepenny , not seeing at all , but thinking it better not to contradict .sx " In other words , " continued the dignitary .sx relapsing once more into lighter vein , " if we cannot steal the layman's heart , we can at least pick his pocket !sx " He slapped his own pocket to emphasise the point ; " and if we cannot save ?sx the world by the foolishness of preaching we can at least make it appear to be saved through the foolishness of statistics .sx " Alfred , having paid tribute to the churchman's humour with a faint smile , tried to raise the conversation to that higher plane from which it was continually in danger of falling .sx " Of course I was not thinking of being a bishop or anything of that sort , " he pointed out deprecatingly .sx " I know that is out of the question .sx But couldn't a saint take some minor office a curacy , say , or something like that ?sx " " I see you are a visionary , " replied the Archdeacon kindly , " and like all visionaries entirely unpractical .sx If you consider what the duties of a curate are having to preach powerful but entirely non-committal sermons , to organise bazaars , run raffles and so on , when he has to keep on the wrong side of the law and the right side of the police ; the fibs he has to tell when mixing socially with his flock ; not to mention his frequent encounters with the fairer sex " ( and here , while it would be false to accuse the Archdeacon of a wink , nevertheless , by closing his right eye a fraction of a second sooner than his left he was undoubtedly guilty of its archidiaconal equivalent ) ; " I am sure you would agree with me that the post would be most uncongenial to one of your disposition .sx However , " he said , rising to indicate that the interview was at an end , " I will bear you in mind and if anything turns up I will be sure to let you know .sx Good-afternoon , Mr. Thimblepenny , or I suppose we shall have to say St. Thimblepenny , now !sx " And with this last little jest , which Alfred thought somewhat untimely , the Archdeacon of Upper Tooting jocularly showed the saint to the door and returning , settled down to digest another chapter of Faith reinforced by Finance .sx Meanwhile Alfred , as he once more paced the rain-drenched streets , gave himself up to thought , and his thoughts brought him little comfort .sx What room was there for saints , he reflected , in these material , matter-of-fact times ?sx 0 tempora , 0 Mores !sx as the vicar had said only last Sunday .sx A saint was a drug in the market .sx He was clearly not wanted in the world , and his presence was equally an embarrassment to the Church .sx If only he had lived in the Middle Ages how different his lot would have been .sx Then saints really were appreciated .sx They held a recognised position in society .sx They filled the niche reserved to-day for film stars and beef or button kings .sx If they were sometimes racked they were at least respected ; and if occasionally ignited , they were never ignored .sx Whereas in the twentieth century but the contrast was too humiliating .sx They were back numbers no more considered than yesterday's .sx