One boxer , when told by his bank manager that his account was overdrawn , replied with scorn , " Garn !sx How can it be overdrawn when I've seven cheques left ?sx " And a young amateur who had turned professional , having won his first fight , went up on the following day to draw his money , thinking he would receive it in notes .sx Instead of this , he was handed a cheque .sx " Here , " he said .sx " When I turned pro .sx , I thought I was going to get money .sx I don't want any more of these bloomin' certificates .sx " The remarks made from time to time by the combatants themselves undoubtedly provide the most humorous side of boxing , but these , however , vary very much according to the condition in which the combatants are at the moment , running through the whole gamut of emotions from jubilation to deep despondency .sx " Ah sure does pity yew , " said one coloured boxer to another before they started the fight .sx " Why , yew poor mutt , yew don't know that ah was born in boxing gloves .sx " " Dat so ?sx " replied the other .sx " Well , you poor nigger , you're sure going to die right now in dem !sx " One of the seconds , at the end of the first round , was not at all satisfied with his principal's performance .sx " Wot d'ye want to play about wiv 'im like that for ?sx " he growled , " Go in and 'it 'im .sx " " Hit 'im , " was the reply of the cocksure one .sx " Hit 'im , no bloomin' fear !sx Why , the last bloke that I hit found when 'e came to again that his clothes were old-fashioned .sx " But from such optimism it is no great step to fall to the depths of pessimism .sx Two youngsters , fairly new to the game , had gone in with all the enthusiasm of youth for a real pounding match , and at the end of the twelfth round one of them was feeling " all in .sx " " Stick it , Bob , " said his second , using the old comforting wheeze .sx " Don't forget the other bloke feels worse than you do .sx " " Does he ?sx " panted Bob .sx " Then if he feels any worse than I do , he don't feel nothink , he's parst away .sx " As the contest drew nearer , the boxer was not looking at all happy .sx " Buck up , " said his second .sx " Just say to yourself , ` I'm going to lick him,' and then you will .sx " " That's no use , " said the melancholy one sadly , " I know what a liar I am .sx " A youngster who had lasted four rounds returned to the ringside and demanded his coat .sx " What d'ye want your coat for ?sx " asked his second , who had , of course , a financial interest in his man .sx " You're not going to chuck it , are you ?sx Why , you fool , the betting is two to one on you .sx " " That so ?sx " muttered the battered one .sx " Then I'm going to chuck it while I'm the favourite .sx " In view of the fact that at the present time every defeated boxer has a good and sufficient answer as to why he did not win , it is refreshing to come across a case where the loser was not above confessing that he had met a better man .sx When the well-known old prize-fighter , Deaf Burke , was defeated by the famous Bendigo in the fight for the English belt , he was asked by his principal backer , the Marquess of Waterford , if there was anything particular in Bendigo's fighting .sx " Well , my Lord , " said the old veteran , " the point about him is that he hits d-d hard , and , what's worse , he keeps on a-doing of it .sx " Apropos of the punishment that can be received in a fight , there is a good story of two costermongers , both keen followers of thenoble art , who once paid a visit to the British Museum .sx Rambling round , they came across the statue of a Roman gladiator dating from an early age , which had lost one arm , the lower part of one leg , and was generally in a pretty dilapidated condition .sx Underneath the statue was the inscription " Victory .sx " " Lumme , Bill , " said one , after a lengthy examination , " if that's the bloke wot won , wot must have been the state of the blighter wot lorst ?sx " .sx We may , however , sometimes yet come across the type of man whom nothing can daunt , though he is not always to be found in the front ranks .sx At a ten-round contest , Pat , in the opinion of his seconds , had had quite sufficient by the end of the sixth round .sx " Reckon you've had about enough , " said one of them .sx " Better chuck it up .sx " " Indade I haven't , " replied the game one .sx " D'ye think you can go the other four ?sx " said the second in astonishment .sx " Not four , three , " replied the boxer .sx " No , it's four .sx " " Ah , shure , " said Pat .sx " What the devil's the good of argufying about it ?sx If there's any dispute , let's start agin .sx " On one occasion a match arranged between .sx Benny Thomas and Charles Ledoux was held during the Deauville race week .sx It had been generally noticed that whenever a Frenchman hit an Englishman , there was always a perfect thunder of " Bravos , " but when an Englishman hit a Frenchman , there was dead silence .sx This was mentioned to Thomas before he went into the ring in order that he might be prepared .sx " It doesn't matter , " said the boxer , " there'll be nothing but silence .sx I'll never leave him .sx " Humour often survives the inevitable counting out .sx A Billingsgate man had received his quietus , and when he had somewhat recovered , someone asked , " How did it feel to hear the referee counting you out ?sx " " Just like tallying aht boxes o' kippers at the market , " came the apt answer .sx But of this phase of the contest , undoubtedly the best story is the classic reply made by Bill Baxter to Tiger Smith when the latter complained that he had not had fair treatment .sx " I counted myself , " complained Tiger , " and the referee only went up to eight .sx " " Yes , Tiger , " was the reply , " but that was only after you come to .sx " A not uncommon source of danger to one of the parties arises where the fight is more or less a " put-up job , " but one of the contestants fails to observe the conditions .sx Sam Langford , a celebrated nigger boxer , was once matched with a brother black , but as Sam was very much the superior , it was mutually agreed that he should allow his opponent to last six rounds .sx Consequent on this agreement Langford took the early stages of the fight very lightly , but in the second round the other black , taking advantage of this , landed Sam a terrific punch on the jaw , sending him to the floor with a bang .sx It was not until eight had been counted that he was able to get on his feet again .sx Directly the third round was called , Langford left his corner , and , walking across to his opponent , held out his hand .sx " This isn't the last round !sx " said nigger number two in surprise .sx " Oh , yes it is , " said Sam with meaning , " it's de berry last round .sx " This proved to be the case , for at its termination the nigger was carried off more dead than alive .sx Sometimes it happens that , although the boxer comes unscathed through the fight , other dangers await him .sx One local champion .sx went very creditably through three rounds without receiving a scratch , but on the next day it was noticed that his face was swollen and his eye blackened .sx " What happened ?sx " asked a friend .sx " It's this way , " said the damaged one .sx " When I went home and told the missus how I had enjoyed the sport , she said , 'Well , if you want sport like that you can have it at home and we'll both enjoy it,' and when she had said that she picked up the copper stick .sx " Even though boxers may incur dangers at home , the sport abroad is often still more perilous .sx Corbett tells a story of a fight in which he was engaged at San Francisco .sx Just before the fight was due to commence he was approached by one of his supporters , Judge Lawler , who said , " Jim , there's a lot of feeling over this fight , and I'm afraid there will be trouble , and that someone may pull a gun .sx Don't you think we'd better search them before they are allowed in ?sx " To this Corbett agreed , and the judge went out , returning after a few minutes with his arms piled high with revolvers , all loaded .sx Burke , a one-time celebrated English boxer , when fighting a man called O'Rourke in America , was on the point of winning when he was attacked with revolvers and knives by the disappointed spectators , and was compelled to fly for his life .sx The boxer may be in danger , too , from the spectator whose partisanship runs to such an extreme that it culminates in a primeval and frenzied desire for blood .sx At one meeting in the north of England , where the spectators were largely miners , a local champion was to appear .sx Needless to say , the sympathies of the audience were with him , especially in the case of one brawny north-countryman , who , carried away by excitement , shrieked at the top of his voice , " Go on , Geordie , KILL HIM !sx KILL THE REFEREE !sx KILL ANYBODY !sx " .sx Boxing , like racing , in consequence of the betting which accompanies it , brings in its train many stories of wiles and shady tricks .sx The fight between Tommy Burns and Jim Roach , the champion of Ireland , was one of the shortest ever witnessed .sx It lasted fifteen seconds .sx It was staged in Dublin , and caused much local excitement , and , when the sudden collapse of the Irish champion took place , one .sx quick-witted Irishman , grasping the situation , rushed out into the street crying , " Does anyone want a ticket ; I can't bear to look at this fight any longer .sx Roach is killing him .sx Anyone can have my ticket for two pounds , and chape at the money .sx " With hundreds round the building who had been unable to get in , this offer was at once snapped up !sx Large sums are often paid for a few seconds' enjoyment .sx It is actually the case that in the fight between Carpentier and Wells at the National Sporting Club in 1913 , which lasted seventy-three seconds , members of the club paid as much as five , ten , and fifteen guineas for seats for their guests .sx One spectator , just before the boxers entered the ring , announced his intention of going to get a drink while the preliminaries were taking place .sx When he returned , after an absence of about two minutes , it was all over bar the shouting .sx Training , of course , has its own stories .sx Jack Bloomfield tells a story of how , when out for exercise , he was practising shadow boxing in a country road when he was observed by an old lady .sx For some time she watched him in silence , and then , turning away , said " Poor fellow , I suppose it must have been shell shock .sx " Fred Fulton , a noted darkie boxer , is reported before one of his fights to have asked advice from another old negro scrapper as to his line of action .sx " De bes' way for you , " said his adviser , " is to take a club , and when dat oder man aren't looking jes' bust him on de head , and when he turns round in surprise jes' bust him again and knock him dead .sx " " And what shall I do after that ?sx " asked Fulton in surprise .sx " Nothing then , only don't miss dat second shot , dat's all .sx " A third training story , though perhaps not told for the first time , is too good to be omitted , proving , as it does , that training cannot be commenced too young .sx A district visitor in the East End was going her rounds , and in one house she noticed a sturdy kiddy of some three or four years , whom his fond mother addressed as " Halgernon Clarence .sx " " That's rather a swell name , isn't it ?sx " queried the visitor .sx " How did he come to get such an aristocratic one ?sx " " Well , ye see , mum , " said the mother , " 'is father's fair set on 'im being a boxer when 'e grows up .sx " " Yes , " said the visitor , who failed to grasp the meaning of the reply .sx " But how is the name going to help him ?sx " " 'Elp 'im , " said the mother grimly , " well , in this street if a kid's called Halgernon Clarence , 'e'll bloomin' well 'ave ter fight .sx "