READY FOR LIFE .sx THE mother's face was drawn with anxiety .sx " It's my little girl , doctor , " she said indicating the fair-haired child sitting by her side .sx " I'm desperately worried about her .sx I think she's got cancer .sx " The doctor showed no emotion .sx " And what makes you think that ?sx " he asked .sx " Well , " said the mother , " she's developed a lump in her chest .sx It's getting bigger , too .sx That is how cancer starts , isn't it ?sx " " How old is the child ?sx " asked the doctor .sx " Just nine years .sx " The doctor completed his examination .sx He was smiling when he spoke again .sx " It's certainly not cancer , " he told the mother .sx " Your daughter's growing up , that's all .sx The swelling is the beginning of her figure .sx " This incident , which took place in the Harley Street consulting-room of one of our leading children's doctors , is no freak case .sx Nor is it unusual in 1961 Britain .sx For the truth is that in the last few years a tremendous upheaval has shaken our understanding of child development .sx Today , children are growing up- physically- far earlier than their parents did .sx And as breast development is normally the first sign of puberty in a girl , it is not unusual to find this starting as young as nine or ten .sx Some parents cannot accept this change in their children .sx Earlier puberty is a subject that is proving of enormous interest to the medical profession , but for some odd reason it is one that seems to be passing by the most important people of all- apart from the children- the parents .sx Today's parents cannot seem to accept that the girl who starts menstruating at eleven is not super-advanced , that indeed they must be prepared to expect this to begin round about this time .sx For these are the startling facts :sx Girls are developing earlier , at the rate of four to six months earlier every ten years .sx This means that biologically they are now growing up two to three years earlier than they did at the turn of the century .sx Boys are advancing even faster .sx In fact , it is now getting quite difficult to find choirboys old enough to behave in church who can still sing treble .sx Children are simultaneously getting increasingly taller and heavier as the years roll by .sx For example , on an average , a girl of eight in 1959 was as tall and heavy as a girl of eight-and-a-half in 1949 .sx And in ten years the average height of a ten-year-old has increased by half an inch , the average weight by three-and-a-half pounds .sx Nor does the advance show any signs of halting .sx In fact , it may well be that by the time these children have their children , the majority of girls will be maturing at ten .sx Doctors who are delving into the reasons why this revolution is taking place have come up with some intriguing theories .sx Many say it is because today's child is much better fed than her ancestors .sx School milk , they say , has quite a bit to do with it .sx Others believe the reason is climatic .sx It's known that overheating delays the growth of laboratory rats , and it's been suggested that children now grow considerably faster because their parents do not overclothe them as they used to in the old days .sx Modern psychiatrists , however , have an even more interesting theory .sx They say that it's the direct result of easier relations between the sexes .sx There is more conversation about sex between boys and girls and a far more natural acceptance of the once unmentionable " facts of life .sx " This theory is borne out by the fact that children in co-educational schools often mature earlier than those who are segregated .sx Getting it through to some parents that earlier puberty is now a fact is proving quite a headache to doctors and teachers .sx Most teachers have very decided views on the subject .sx Like one of our most go-ahead principals , Miss K. C. M. Gent , headmistress of the four hundred strong girls' grammar school in Lichfield , Staffordshire .sx " Girls start here at eleven , and by the end of the first year at least fifty per cent of them have reached puberty , many having started before they even arrive , " she told me .sx " Because of this I have made it a rule to see each set of parents individually before the child begins her first term , " she went on .sx " I tell them that I insist on every child knowing the facts of life before she starts at my school .sx " If the parents find it difficult or embarrassing to talk to the child I give them a booklet which the child can read .sx " Almost every mother I meet seems surprised that I insist on this so early .sx " They can't seem to take in the fact that girls are maturing so quickly .sx But once they realize the truth of it they're glad to co-operate and teach their daughters .sx " Now more than ever children crave wise guidance .sx Though we may think it a good idea that children should grow up more quickly , let none of us imagine that earlier puberty doesn't bring its own set of difficult problems .sx The toughest of these is this :sx that though physical development has advanced so rapidly social development has stood still .sx A girl of eleven today- even if she does happen to wear a thirty-four-inch bra- is still , to her mother and father , a child .sx And that's the way society looks at her , too .sx So who can blame her if she gets all mixed up ?sx She has not had enough experience of life to cope with the new process .sx She has been well protected in the junior school , and at home she has always been regarded as " a kid .sx " No wonder , then , that she doesn't know whether to play with toys or go out with boys .sx No wonder she craves wise parental guidance and friendship more now than ever before .sx Which brings us back to the mother .sx What exactly are the problems likely to come up when she suddenly finds herself confronted by a little woman of twelve ?sx How can she cope with the child's emotional growing pains in the kindest , most sensible way ?sx How can she tell her daughter that , physically , she is now a woman ?sx I sought the answers from doctors and psychiatrists , teachers and social workers .sx CONTINUING READY FOR LIFE by ROSALIE SHANN .sx ADOLESCENCE is one of the most important times in a woman's life .sx IT is a fact that girls are developing earlier at the rate of four to six months every ten years .sx This means that biologically they are now growing up two to three years earlier than they did at the turn of the century .sx Boys are advancing even faster .sx And this creates a whole new set of problems for the parents .sx Everyone is agreed that as puberty advances so they must also advance their attitude to the growing child .sx A girl may well be emotionally unready for puberty because that emotional development is still way behind physical development .sx Her emotions have given her no warning of imminent changes .sx But though she may be unprepared her mother must not be .sx It is essential she tell the child the facts of life in time , not just the usual item about where babies come from , but what puberty is , what changes will take place , and why .sx What exactly is meant by " in " ?sx Well , it varies from child to child , but generally speaking changes should be discussed as soon as they begin in the child .sx The first sign is invariably the beginning of the development of the bust .sx As soon as a mother notices this she should talk to the girl , perhaps before if the opportunity has arisen , but never later than this .sx A child , incidentally , is far more likely to accept the facts naturally and easily and without embarrassment if she is used to seeing her mother undressed .sx Then as soon as menstruation starts the mother should explain to her daughter all over again what it is and why it happens .sx Physical changes indicate the child's approaching maturity .sx Doctors say it is important to explain to the child twice- before menstruation happens and when it does- as she cannot fully appreciate the facts the first time .sx Above all , a mother should appear pleased about her daughter's physical changes because it indicates approaching maturity , and this is something , the mother must imply , to be looked forward to , not dreaded .sx If a mother views the onset of her daughter's adolescence with misgiving , believing- because of what she's heard- that it's always a troubled time for all concerned , then this fear will be communicated to the child , and the inevitable obstacles will be anticipated and probably enlarged .sx A fact mothers must also be prepared for is that different levels of maturity exist side by side .sx This can be extremely tricky to understand , both from the parents' and the child's point of view .sx There often is , for instance , a child who can partake in quite adult activities , such as intellectual conversation , yet at the same time spend hours reading her childish comics .sx Moods vary , too , and with such speed that the poor parent is often at a loss to keep up .sx One minute the child is lost in desolation , quite sure she is a failure in every way .sx The next , while the parent is still trying to comfort her , she is brimming over with self-confidence and a brand new bout of enthusiasm .sx By far the best , and most sensible , way for mothers to face this time is to accept that the child is changing , and to welcome that change .sx This , of course , is far easier said than done , for , whatever the psychiatrists say , it cuts the heart when a dearly loved child , once so docile and parent-attached , suddenly wants to strike out by herself , choosing her own friends .sx But it is some compensation to realize that this desire for independence is a good thing for the child .sx It shows she is anxious to stand on her own feet and make a place for herself in the world later on .sx If her naturally healthy desire to grow up is frustrated she will either lose her urge to be independent or she will rebel and go her own way anyhow .sx And this last spells trouble in the home .sx A child psychiatrist was adamant on this point of independence .sx " So many mothers , " he said , " make the mistake of expecting to know everything about their daughters .sx The brutal truth is that a girl will not grow up normally unless she has a secret life away from her parents .sx " In fact , the daughter who tells her mother everything is very suspect from the psychiatrist's point of view because she is not being allowed to grow naturally into an adult .sx " IT's enlightening , and a little shattering , to learn from the psychiatrist that that state which mothers boast about , " we're more like sisters than mother and daughter " is not one to be envied .sx Indeed , this very closeness and dependence is considered detrimental to normal development .sx " It's far more healthy for girls to giggle among themselves and have 'best friends' from their own classmates , " the psychiatrist told me .sx " The mother just mustn't be that 'best friend' because it suggests that the daughter is still clinging to her .sx " I know this is a bitter pill for mothers to swallow , particularly those who are bringing up daughters alone without their husbands .sx I often advise these women to get themselves an interesting job .sx Just for the sake of the girl .sx " Many young women who finally end up with nervous breakdowns or other mental disorders do so just because they have never broken away from their families .sx " You have no idea how many girls come here who have never been shopping by themselves , " another psychiatrist said .sx " A young person should be allowed a lot more responsibility and freedom from the age of ten or eleven onwards .sx " She should be able to choose some of her own clothes and perhaps her own wallpaper .sx She must be able to spend her own pocket money the way she wants , and keep a diary which no one will read .sx