The Captain , however , forbade it .sx ' I honestly do think that a captain of one of H.M. ships seldom finds himself criticized in an official document requiring his signature .sx Brock , as usual , ignored the impertinence- for the moment .sx On the other hand I find a cutting from a Naval and Military Record of December 14th pasted into my diary which reads :sx 'Sir- In your issue of the 30th ult .sx there was a letter signed " Naval Officer " complaining that our main fleets spend too much time at sea and that on this account there is a grave discontent among the personnel .sx As an officer of more than a couple of years' standing I have discovered none of these terrible grievances .sx In fact I am perfectly satisfied with my lot , and do not find my ship in the least stuffy , nor do I mind putting to sea in her .sx These views are shared by everyone I have spoken to .sx Does " Naval Officer " want our fleets to lie alongside the home ports , Gibraltar or Malta , for nine months in the year ?sx It is not every naval officer who is afraid of battle exercises , or manning and arming ship , or of sea trips between nice places .sx If " Naval Officer " chooses to present one side of the case to the British public , surely the views of the majority may have a hearing also .sx N. O.' Of course no one penetrated my anonymous signature .sx Brock would have been puzzled at such a letter coming from me !sx It was about now that I took action against Their Lordships themselves in the matter of the yearly Examination in French of Junior Officers Afloat .sx My diary simply records :sx 'French exam .sx Had hoped to do well but they asked what were the pronouns which correspond to the adjectives " ce , cette , ces , son , nos , leurs .sx " Got furious with the question and wrote down " Ce , ces and cette are not adjectives ; son , nos and leurs are pronouns .sx " So don't expect much Kudos .sx ' Their Lordships' reply was in the shape of a +5 silver stop watch by S. Smith & Son , 9 The Strand , London , inscribed :sx " Admiralty Prize Junior Officers Afloat , 1905 , French , Midn .sx O. M. Frewen , " , an unusually gracious admission of defeat probably due to a printer's error .sx The watch , admittedly not worn continuously , fell into disrepair just fifty-two years later , and it seemed to me natural to go to the address printed on its face to ask the makers to overhaul it .sx By 1957 London traffic had become something of a nightmare to rural drivers so that my wife parked our little Morris car in the taxicab sanctuary of Charing Cross 'just for a moment' while I walked west to No .sx 9- and found it not , not on the south side anyway , where stand the other low odd numbers .sx After much research , and in an indignation equal to that of Midn .sx Frewen at his French exam , I crossed the road and demanded of a shop-owner opposite where were S. Smith & Son ?sx 'Never been in the Strand,' he answered .sx 'Well , here's their address on the face of my watch,' I retorted .sx 'Well , I can only say that I've been here twenty-five years and they've never been here in my time' closed the discussion , but not the enquiry :sx he kindly produced a London Telephone Directory which directed us to 179 Great Portland Street , W.=1 , with more and worse traffic jams , including a succession of 'No Entry' streets negatively barring our car's access to the Promised Land .sx We eventually walked there and my watch- 'her speed she reneweth again' .sx The taxi drivers at Charing Cross had also shown the courtesy one has come to expect of them .sx I had loved the idea of coming to sea , to cruise and see the world , but my diary entry in December 1905 reads :sx 'Have now done 90 days- in Malta .sx ' Ninety Days' Detention was a stereotyped punishment for major offences by lower deck ratings .sx And we had another six weeks to come before again sailing the seas .sx 8 .sx Feminine Influence on Senior Officers .sx CHRISTMAS DAY , 1905 , was my first one in a ship , 1903 and 1904 having been spent on leave .sx I think my diary entry may be of interest for a typical account .sx It reads :sx 'Turned out 7.30. After breakfast read Last Days of Pompeii till Divisions .sx Skipper had everybody aft and told them in a good short speech that the C.-in-C. would have gone rounds had the ship not been in dockyard hands .sx Then Church .sx After Church I had meant to take Holy Communion but , being ordered up there by the Commander , I got very angry and refused to go .sx Then went round the Mess Decks , taking various savoury meats from various nicely decorated messes , notably the Chief Stokers' .sx The Skipper and Warrant Officers then came into the gunroom .sx After lunch got into de Burgh's knickers , my blue jacket , brother Hugh's stockings , and brown boots .sx Went ashore with Ritchie and de Burgh ; went up to Admiralty House and found Gibbs , who promptly offered me the loan of his riding-boots .sx Wore them .sx Went back to Calcara Steps and mounted .sx My G. a most spirited one .sx He kept galloping away from the rest the whole way to St. Paul's Bay , where we had tea , twenty-four of us ; the C.-in-C. , his wife , nine officers and thirteen snotties .sx ( Hervey left his G. behind and turned up in a carrotze .sx ) Started back about 4.30. Had a splendid series of gallops and got back to Porta Reale about 5.30. Went to Admiralty House to return my boots and Gibbs made me eat unheard-of chunks of ripping cake .sx Then came on board .sx Had no dinner .sx Couldn't after Gibbs' cake .sx Feeling rather sore but very bucked up with the afternoon's work , though not exactly with things in general .sx Dominant fed-upness of the day was that fool Commander stopping me going to Second Service .sx He might have known that any self-respecting Englishman would , in the first place , go ; and in the second place refuse to be ordered about on such subjects .sx And he thought he was doing right too , I suppose .sx All hands stood off after Divisions .sx ' I was indeed so indignant over being ordered to Holy Communion that I actually entered it in my official Journal for the Naval Instructor's and Captain's signatures .sx Holy Joe sent for me and said that if I did not erase it he would have to draw the Captain's attention to it , so this I did .sx Whether as a Chaplain he considered the incident reflected on the Commander , or whether as my Naval Instructor he considered that it reflected on me for disobedience of orders , I never knew .sx My Journal also says of my ride , 'No casualties , although I was nearly thrown onto a donkey-cart and was repeatedly not under control .sx Mr. Hervey came in a carrotze , being unable to persuade his pony to keep up with the rest .sx ' ( Tactfully put .sx ) 'A very enjoyable afternoon , but it made me very stiff for two or three days after .sx ' My Journal for December 31st states aggressively :sx 'Nothing of note happened until 11.55 p.m. when I was turned out rather forcibly and after witnessing Mr. Bennett strike " 16 " , drank punch in the wardroom .sx Owing , however , to the Captain's not caring for noise and singing we turned in again about 12.30. Thus ended the year 1905 .sx ' To be fair to poor Osmond de B. Brock , who didn't attend the traditional ceremony of striking 16 bells , my diary records that we 'went and struck about 32 bells' , i.e. no ceremony but just a cacophony on the ship's bell , and in the wardroom the demure noise and singing is described 'sang 2Auld Lang Syne' .sx Then Chichester as junior snottie attempted 'Clementine' and I helped him through it .sx 'However , at the third verse the Skipper got agribulgent , so we desisted and went and kicked up hell and the sleepers in the chest flat .sx At last slept and lay in till 7.30. Then worried Hardy by singing in the bathroom .sx ' The Captain responded to the aggression in my Journal , which he inspected and initialled on Tuesday , by sending for me on Thursday to tell me the sketch I had put in was not good enough 'for such a good Journal as mine and would I improve it before going ashore' .sx In fact , stopped my leave .sx I submitted my improvements the following Tuesday 'and the old devil isn't satisfied yet !sx but let me have my leave back' .sx I was also in trouble now with Gathorne-Hardy , who ordered me to report myself , dressed , to him every morning , for not being out of the chest-flat by 7.45. I turned out next morning at 5.30 to attend the daily 'Hands fall in' , dressed and woke the distinguished senior lieutenant and made my report by 6.15 , which was not well received .sx News now came through that Mamma and sister Clare were going to arrive on the 18th .sx I searched Valletta for rooms and , with a good deal of trouble , finally managed to secure them in the Royal Hotel in Strada Mercanti , not the best quarter of the city but the best I could do .sx But Sir George Warrender , Bart .sx , Captain of H.M.S. Carnarvon , had also been on the lookout and found them grander ones at the Lord Nelson , in Floriana .sx And with their arrival the scallywag snottie was thrown back to his first few days at sea and became the popular midshipman of the Bulwark , to be received by admirals , captains ( except him of the Bulwark ) , wardroom officers , and even by the Rifle Brigade , then stationed at Pieta , whose major , Tom Hollond , had been the Duke of Connaught's A.D.C. at Clare's coming-out season in Dublin in 1903 , when the Duke was Commander-in-Chief .sx My diary for the 18th records :sx 'Turned out 7.30 and dressed in plain clothes .sx During breakfast got a signal from C.-in-C. [cruising in H.M.S. Surprise , the C.-in-C.'s yacht in those gracious days] asking when my people were coming .sx Told him , and then went ashore .sx At 9.20 the General Chanzy arrived , and chartering a nice dghaisa , I followed them up harbour .sx Bennett turned up with a signal from the Admiral saying his barge and carriage were at Ma's disposal .sx Found the carriage awaiting us at the Custom House and drove to the Lord Nelson , and I had my second breakfast .sx Then Lula ( Tom Hollond's most charming wife ) and Sir George looked in on us .sx At 4.30 we three went to Lula's and wandered round the garden till Acheson turned up , when Clare and he wandered round together and Ma and I kept out of the way .sx After tea Ma and Clare returned to their hotel and I to the ship .sx Made an evolution of dressing , hurling the innards of my sea-chest far and wide , and ended up with a flying leap across the Schoolplace table in the middle of dinner to provide myself with a gold stud .sx Then repaired to Sir George's and we had a good dinner- in fact I ate too much .sx We then went on to the Opera , using No .sx 13 box ( Charlie ) .sx The opera was Rigoletto .sx All the e@2lite were there .sx Gibbs turned up with a message from the C.-in-C. and I introduced him .sx Clare went into ecstasies over him and Ma thought him so nice and good looking .sx Gather I am not a screaming success , especially with Mother .sx They stripped me of my white waistcoat to send it to the wash , and lectured me on the need of sucking up to my superiors , with the usual result .sx Then returned on board 12.35 and turned in .sx ' Next morning , a Friday , 'asked the Commander for leave till Feb .sx 5th .sx He said he would see the Captain about it , but did not expect I would get it .sx Then seizing my fast-waning courage in both hands and a tooth , asked could I go ashore now .sx He said if Parsoon agreed , I could .sx Parsoon disagreed , so I did .sx Found Ma in her chemise and Clare in her bed .sx