Again there was a long pause .sx 'We're mates,' he said at last ; that was all , yet I felt there was something more to it .sx I sent for the sergeant of the platoon both men were in and asked him to try to find out discreetly what lay behind this .sx It did not take him long .sx Rifleman A had a secret ; he was illiterate , or very nearly so .sx Rifleman B was teaching him to read and write in private .sx It had cost A a great effort to confess his secret to his mate and he could not face confiding in somebody else ; they wanted to complete the tuition .sx I took B off the draft and eventually sent them on another one together .sx A disproportionate amount of my time seemed to be taken up with delinquency , military or civil .sx Apart from the daily 'crime sheet' there were occasional courts martial , appearances in the police courts of neighbouring towns as 'prisoner's friend' , and even , on one occasion , which I shall describe in another connection , a journey to London to give 'evidence of character' in a case against a rifleman .sx The first time I appeared at a court martial I took infinite pains with my case for the defence .sx I interviewed the prisoner- a deserter- in the guardroom several times , sorted out the obvious lies from the more plausible parts of his story and , discovering that the essence of desertion lies in the intention not to return , built up an elaborate argument to show that the man had intended to come back , or at least that he could not be proved to have intended otherwise .sx This last became difficult when it emerged belatedly , via the civilian police , that he had flogged- that is , sold- every stitch of his military clothing and every piece of his equipment .sx My case got off to a bad start .sx The President of the Court asked me if I was making a plea in mitigation and seemed rather impatient when I said no , I had a complete defence to offer .sx The Court fidgeted and seemed bored ; the Judge Advocate looked , to me at least , half amused and half contemptuous .sx A sense of injustice spurred me on , and there is no doubt that it spurred me too far and too long .sx The sentence was 112 days' detention .sx Leaving the court I met an officer of another company who had been very helpful to me ; he had once been the commandant of a military prison .sx He put his hand on my shoulder and said something to the effect that that was quite a speech I had made .sx It was nice of him to say so , I replied unhappily , but it hadn't had much effect , had it ?sx Oh yes , he said .sx A considerable effect .sx 'How ?sx ' I asked , irritably .sx 'Well,' he said thoughtfully , 'I've seen a lot of those cases , you know , and I would say that without your speech he would probably have got fifty-six days .sx ' If I defended that prisoner too much there was one I defended too little , indeed not at all .sx He was a camp hospital orderly , summoned to a police court about six miles away .sx I was particularly busy on the morning of the case and sent a message to the hospital that the rifleman should report to the Company Office and I would drive him into town .sx My idea was that he could tell me the facts on the way .sx But a message came back that the rifleman had already left .sx I realised I had cut everything rather fine and left at once .sx But by the time I reached the court my man was already in the dock and there was no chance of consulting him .sx I was in time to hear the charge , which was that he had taken a motor bicycle without the owner's permission and ridden it without a licence ; also that he had stolen a blanket and a groundsheet .sx He pleaded not guilty .sx The Chief Constable took him through the story to the point where it was established that he had , in fact , taken the articles .sx Why ?sx asked the Chief Constable .sx And why did he plead not guilty ?sx The rifleman was a regular soldier with a row of service chevrons .sx He stood like a ramrod in the dock , head slightly raised , looking ahead and upward over the Bench , and he spoke as if delivering a well-rehearsed recitation .sx 'Well , sir,' he said , 'it was like this , sir .sx There was a dance at the camp that night , sir .sx I wanted to take a girl home , sir .sx ' The Chief Constable asked patiently what that had to do with the charge .sx Why had he taken the articles in question ?sx 'Well , sir .sx It was like this , sir .sx There was a dance at the camp that night , sir .sx I wanted to take a girl home , sir .sx ' All right , said the Chief Constable .sx He wanted to take the girl home ; that was why he took the bicycle , believing the owner would have lent it if asked .sx But why did he take a blanket and a groundsheet ?sx 'Well , sir .sx It was like this , sir .sx .' The whole routine came out again , not an inflection varied .sx The Chief Constable interrupted .sx 'Why,' he asked wearily , 'did you take a blanket and a groundsheet ?sx ' Suddenly the soldier relaxed his rigid posture , looked down at the Chief Constable , and in a totally different voice full of challenging contempt for his interrogator's obtuseness , he said , 'y'wouldn't like me to tell you , wouldya ?sx ' All I did in that case was pay the five-pound fine which was quickly imposed and arrange for it to be deducted from his pay .sx When I wasn't being an ineffective lay lawyer I was often an employment agent .sx The company's roll included a number of men who were drawing specialist rates of pay but for whom we had no job in their specialised line .sx When a specialist was wanted anywhere the application came to me .sx One day the Adjutant telephoned that a cook was required urgently at a Stately Home some miles away which had been requisitioned as a high level military headquarters .sx I consulted the Sergeant-Major ; we went over our lists of cooks and chose one .sx He was sent for and seemed a very presentable man .sx I gave instructions for him to be driven , with his kit , to his new and cosy-sounding job .sx That evening , passing a bunch of soldiers in a camp road way , I thought I saw the cook , then decided I must be mistaken .sx But the thought persisted and I sent for the Sergeant-Major .sx Oh , no , he said , I must be mistaken .sx He had personally seen the cook off in a truck with all his kit .sx I told him to enquire .sx Half an hour later he reported back .sx I was right .sx Our cook was home again .sx The Sergeant-Major asked him what had happened .sx 'I don't know,' the man said , looking genuinely puzzled .sx 'I'd only just got there and I was in the kitchen and a sergeant came down and said the General wanted tea .sx He had company up in the drawing room .sx Wanted it right away .sx Well , when I took the pail up .sx .' Nobody had ticked him off .sx He had simply and immediately been ordered back to where he came from .sx He probably established a record for short tenure as a General's cook , but I should like to have been present at the moment in the drawing room when tea was served .sx It was ironic that while I was trying to deal with the problems of the 'employed' men I had also to cope with a less constant but trying problem of unemployed men .sx The main body of the company was fully engaged in a training programme but there were at times quite large numbers of men who had completed their training and were waiting to be drafted overseas .sx No soldier is more difficult to handle than the idle soldier , and none is quicker to realise when duties or training are designed more to prevent boredom or to keep him out of mischief than to further his proficiency .sx The draftee is restless , impatient , and apt to see no reason why he shouldn't be on embarkation leave until it is time for him to go abroad .sx When , as sometimes happened , a man had had embarkation leave twice and was still hanging about a camp in England , his morale was unpredictable , even from day to day .sx One sternly devised further training programmes and tried to stress their importance , but the scepticism was palpable .sx It was better to be unorthodox- so long as higher authority didn't find out- and intersperse their days with what were frankly games .sx When influenza struck down several platoon commanders I was reduced to putting bodies of these men under one NCO and offering a packet of cigarettes to the first man to reach the top of a nearby hill- stressing , of course , the need for maintaining a high pitch of physical fitness- or sending them out in pairs in 'initiative tests' , which amused them , gave them some freedom , and at least got them out from under my feet .sx All the trained men had qualified in D and M ( driving and maintenance ) and when I was given two buses for use in the company's defensive ro@5le in the event of invasion I packed off whole groups to practise bus driving .sx I discovered that men who had driven even heavy vehicles for years took some time to get the knack of handling a bus and , though their military careers were unlikely to call for such a skill , this again kept them busy on something a little off the beaten track of routine .sx Nearly all the men were Londoners , and home was only a couple of hours hitch-hiking away ; so absenteeism became rife .sx It was coolly calculated .sx They knew that if they had a few days at home and were put in the guardroom when they returned they would be released if the draft movement order came through , so what had they to lose ?sx When Christmas came we had a mass of unauthorised departures .sx A pale-faced corporal reported one night that his entire barrack room was deserted .sx He had found a packet of cigarettes on his pillow with a message attached- 'Happy Christmas , Corp'- and signed by all the missing men .sx The temptation to take no action , knowing they would all be back as soon as the holiday was over , was great , but one could not take that easy way .sx I had the local police of each man's home district informed , and a sufficient number of them spent their Christmas in civilian cells to serve as a warning to others .sx The various invasion alarms were almost a relief in that they called for action which at least approximated to war , though nothing in fact happened .sx The company's task was to guard the perimeter of an airfield a few miles away .sx When the alarm stand-by was received our curious caravan set off- two buses , a couple of jeeps , and two dispatch riders .sx We were assigned our ro@5le only when the first of these alarms was received , so we arrived at the airfield in the dark .sx Two World War =1 soldiers , now ground defence officers in the RAF , greeted us .sx My first question was as to the extent of the perimeter .sx It was nine miles .sx My training told me that you should never spread men thinly , so I split my force into two small mobile units ( each with a bus ) and proposed to hold them in a central position while pickets covered the perimeter .sx But the RAF men would have none of this and it was made clear to me that once on their premises I came under their orders .sx So I had the ridiculous task of spreading my men- about 120 of them- along a nine-mile line .sx The RAF men supervised my placing of them and apparently approved .sx When dawn came I found that most of them had a field of fire which could have caused them only to shoot up the anti-aircraft gunners on the rising ground around us .sx