In the bedrooms the children were preparing to sleep .sx In turmoil and excitement probably , because of the strangeness , and being packed together .sx What was Thomas doing ?sx He liked to watch them ; he wanted children now ; he might be undressing Bobbie .sx And Aunt Mary ?sx She would be alone , as always .sx She would be plaiting the iron hair in two stiff little pigtails , and when that was done she would sit on the edge of the wide , lonely bed she had claimed for herself , and she would rub her legs , and sigh , and she would pull over her head the voluminous wincey nightgown with the tucks on the bodice and the round collar up under her chin .sx And when at last she lay down she would rise out of the bed in rigid humps , like a mountain .sx She would not lie relaxed and peaceful , as though she were resting , but iron hard , as though she were still fighting .sx Kate and Thomas came back along the hall , at ease and smiling .sx Children on the point of going to bed , freshly washed , are at their most lovable .sx " Hullo , " said Thomas .sx " It's quiet .sx Where are the others ?sx " " Sheila and Hugh are fixing the boat , " said Esther .sx " Do you think they can manage ?sx " " What was wrong ?sx " " What was wrong ?sx " said Henry .sx " What do you think was wrong ?sx Bash , bash on the weatherboards all day !sx I'm tired of it !sx I told him to fix it or take it away !sx " " And I told you it was to stay there !sx Even if it did bang !sx What can the boy do about it ?sx " Thomas slammed up the window .sx He climbed out on the verandah roof , calling " Hugh !sx " The wind washed in a great gob through the house , sending the curtains up to the ceiling .sx In a few minutes Thomas came back , grasped the sill , and looked in .sx " Where are they ?sx Goddammit , where are they ?sx " Nobody answered .sx Then , " What do you mean ?sx " said Kate .sx Thomas climbed in the window , catching his foot on the sill and tumbling to the floor .sx He picked himself up in a frenzy , ran into the blue bedroom , almost knocking Teresa down , hurled up the window there .sx The stern mooring line of the little boat hung straight down into the water .sx Of the boat there was no sign .sx Thomas rapidly hauled on the line .sx The end came up .sx It had been cast off into the water .sx Thomas ran back to the landing , hung out the window there .sx The mast and sail , which he had laid in the guttering were gone .sx He closed the window , turned to the old man , and said in a choked voice , " I could kill you !sx " For a while it was Teresa they must cope with .sx She was completely frantic .sx She would have attacked her father but that they pulled her away , and Kate took her into the only free bedroom , where for a long time she tried to calm her .sx Julie dragged off shoes and stockings and searched in the kitchen for aspirin , because there was none in the bathroom .sx The water in which she waded was cold , thick and repulsive , and she shuddered all the time , but it was not only with distaste of the water and the smell of it which was now permeating the house .sx The clammy flood reached to her thighs , and she could not keep her clothes dry .sx She had tucked her skirt up , but it trailed in the water .sx Dusk was now thickening in the corners , and outside the water slapped , not below , as when one was upstairs , but round about , butting about one's ears , pummelling , menacing , with all too little to keep it out , keep it from engulfing one .sx She found the aspirin at last , and climbed the stairs , to where Thomas was waiting .sx He would not leave the old man .sx He would not let him out of his sight again until they were all safe .sx He had wanted to rush out , to swim to the boundary fence , at least , to see if he could see them , but there was no sense in it .sx There was no doubt where they had gone , downstream , to Sheila's home , which , as Henry pointed out , aggrieved , wasn't far .sx There was no reason , he said , why they shouldn't be perfectly all right .sx " But not sailing , " Thomas had said .sx " They wouldn't need to sail , " said Henry .sx " Just drift there .sx " " They have only one oar !sx " " They can use it to steer with .sx " All of which was true , and no doubt Sheila and Hugh would be perfectly safe .sx Unless they tried to come back .sx Which they would be anxious to do , knowing their absence would cause alarm .sx At the thought of it Thomas grew cold .sx Sheila probably knew nothing of sailing , and Hugh thought he knew it all .sx There was one comfort , if Bob Higgins were at home he would stop any such foolhardiness .sx But was he at home ?sx That was what Sheila had gone to find out .sx Thomas took the aspirin and gave it to Esther .sx " Julie , you're wet .sx You must change .sx " " I'll find something .sx Thomas , its growing dark .sx Hadn't I better bring up a primus and some tea ?sx " " I should fetch them myself .sx " " I can manage .sx " " Bring some things on a tray .sx Then you must change .sx " Julie went down again .sx The shadows were growing deeper , the water sounded louder , both what was outside and what she was pushing through .sx It made such a weight against her thighs , and the cold edge of it was a knife on her body .sx Was it as high before , or do I imagine it ?sx She began to shudder again .sx Don't be silly .sx Think what you need .sx The big tray was on the kitchen table .sx The primus , too , that Aunt Mary had used .sx She shook it .sx It seemed full .sx But don't forget the methylated spirit .sx Cups .sx A few will do .sx We can wash them in the bathroom .sx The tea caddy .sx The biscuit barrel .sx Both of willow pattern and as old and familiar as the milk jug , which would be in the refrigerator .sx She could not open the refrigerator door .sx The weight of water against its lower part was too much .sx Bother , I don't like tea without milk .sx But I'd better leave it .sx To open the door would spoil some food anyway .sx Thomas has matches .sx The lamps are upstairs .sx And the candles .sx I don't know what else .sx Sugar , yes .sx Bread .sx And butter .sx A few knives .sx We shan't starve overnight anyway .sx But can I carry it all ?sx It's a good thing we have rainwater tanks .sx We do have something to drink .sx Oh !sx Kettle and teapot .sx It's awfully hard to walk in the water .sx Am I tired ?sx It wasn't so hard before .sx She was lifting the tray before she noticed water washing across the table .sx Now fear caught her .sx The flood was reaching towards her waist , was covering the kitchen table .sx Water dripped from the tray as she lifted it high .sx Her heart hammering , she began to wade from the kitchen .sx " Thomas , " she said , as he came down to meet her , and took the heavy tray , " Thomas , the water is deeper .sx It's nearly up to my waist .sx " He looked at her , nodded .sx " Don't go down again , Julie .sx For anything .sx " " Thomas , I didn't feel another wave .sx " " No .sx But it's risen quickly , all the same .sx Now go and change .sx I'll watch the water .sx Don't worry .sx " Julie padded off to find some clothes , wondering , in spite of all the worry and fear and the tiredness which was beginning to clog her , whether she at all resembled Aunt Mary doing the same thing .sx Esther gave her a frock and a warm dressing gown , and she changed in the bathroom .sx When she came back Sophie and Esther were sitting dejectedly , Henry was dozing , and Thomas peering into the dusk .sx But of course he could see nothing .sx " Are the children asleep , Sophie ?sx " " More or less .sx I've threatened them with everything .sx They're settling down .sx " " Oh , darling , don't cry .sx " For Esther had pulled out her handkerchief .sx " Cheer up , " said Sophie .sx " But all the same , why didn't I find me a husband at home in Wellington ?sx " " Don't you use your handkerchief .sx " Julie tried to joke a little , and then Kate came back , looking as though she too were ready to give way .sx It would be better if the children were here , thought Thomas .sx They would pull themselves together .sx He came from the window and lit one of the lamps .sx The soft yellow light flickered , then settled , pooling so that the corners of the landing were still shadowed and remote , and peopled , suddenly , to Julie , by the ghosts now awakened .sx First Grandmother , of course , erect and certain , not fighting like Aunt Mary , but just- completely sure of herself .sx From the tip of her feathered toque to the heels of her speckless shoes she was groomed , polished , perfect and unapproachable .sx And Uncle John who was killed in Flanders , and who had become a legend and a symbol , someone for Grandmother to pin her prayers on , so that one never knew exactly what kind of person he was , and never would .sx His two brothers who had been a disappointment , and so were never mentioned , skeletons in the family cupboard .sx But they were there now , inhabiting the shadowy , shifting corners of the landing .sx Did Esther notice them ?sx " How is Teresa ?sx " asked Thomas .sx " She's lying quietly now , " said Kate .sx " I think she's all right .sx " " Poor girl , " said Esther .sx " Hugh and Sheila are quite safe .sx " Thomas spoke angrily , as though trying to convince himself .sx Esther wept again .sx Kate bent over her and said " Weep now if you must , Mother , but I ask you , please don't weep for him when he's dead .sx " She gestured towards her father .sx " If you do , I'll remind you .sx " Sophie looked uneasy , and Esther startled .sx Then she said calmly " I'll probably die first .sx " " No !sx " said Kate .sx Quite suddenly she crumpled into a heap on the floor , laid her head against her mother's knee and cried as though she would never stop .sx They were all utterly confounded .sx Then they became embarrassed , as though this were something not meant for them to see .sx Only Esther , after hesitating a moment , knew what to do .sx As though indeed Kate were a child at her knee , Rose or Jane or Sally , she placed her hand on Kate's hair .sx She did not say anything , but the gesture was all that was needed , both to reassure Kate and to increase the feeling , in Julie and Sophie and Thomas , that they were intruding .sx They were all quite quiet and still .sx Only Henry's head nodded , his eyes were closed , and his breathing loud and heavy , too loud in the quiet house , where it was almost dark , and they did not know what the night hours would bring .sx In Julie the peaks of this day could rouse no more emotion .sx She was , she felt , wrung dry and flaccid , like a cleaning cloth .sx The sight of Kate at her mother's knee , where not so long ago she herself had ached to be , should have pierced her to the quick , and in truth she found tears wetting her cheeks , but by now she was so exhausted that she felt no jealousy and none of the hate she had resolved to bear for her sister .sx Nor pity either .sx She was worn out , and felt quite detached , and wished Kate had not broken down in front of them .sx Should I not feel for anyone ?sx she wondered .sx Is that the only way to live , the only way to avoid hurt , and make life bearable ?sx But she knew that was not the answer .sx And she thought , perhaps Mother is stronger than I realised .sx When she is needed she is there .sx Perhaps it is my fault I never sat at her knee .sx I cannot lick the tears away .sx There are too many .sx Yet if I bring out my handkerchief Thomas will notice .sx And I'm not crying , really .sx I feel quite calm and cold .sx But so tired .sx So deadly tired .sx Sophie rose at last , and went to the table .sx She tried ineffectually to light the primus , and Thomas came to help her .sx