" What !sx " he cried , like a man astonished , " have you loved me and I been so inconsiderate as to make myself unworthy of your love ?sx " " Did my eyes never tell you what I looked for in yours ?sx " " I never had the boldness , " he answered , " to make any such construction of your looks .sx " " Your fear was the effect of indifference , " I said , " still , no more of what is past .sx Tell me now ; can you love me ?sx " " Rather ask me , Ma'm , " he confessed , " if all the affection of my soul can merit your love ?sx And whether the Earl of Leicester , whom you design to make the happiest man on Earth , shall not carry the day from me .sx " " The Earl of Leicester , " I explained hastily , " was but a pretence to make you speak ; I told you then the thoughts I truly had of you .sx My trouble was not small , both in your absence and since your return ; but all is now forgotten .sx " He answered me with some disorder which I imagined the effect of sudden joy .sx I thought it time to be no longer scrupulous , that it was in vain to have any reserve when I had said so much .sx " I will not let you go under any uncertainty , " I proceeded , " but to convince you clearly of the truth of what I've said take this ring , as the highest mark of my favour .sx Keep it as a pledge of my love , which I charge you to preserve , and on that condition I promise never to deny you anything you shall desire when you shew it ; though it cost me my life !sx " His joy at receiving the ring was in appearance extraordinary and unparalleled , and attended with promises of as high a nature .sx He left for Ireland in a few days leaving me fully persuaded his thoughts were wholly taken up with me .sx But he had scarce advanced upon the rebels than he was charged with all the crimes that brought about his imprisonment , together with that of the Earl of Southampton .sx Then it was I began to repent I had not given ear to the wholesome advice Cecil would have given me concerning the secret conduct of the Earl of Essex .sx In a word , while my thoughts were wholly employed to make his fortune he was plotting with the Earl of Tyrone to surprise and make me prisoner !sx You know the rest :sx his obstinate resistance , his want of respect for my orders , his imprisoning my ministers , his murdering my soldiers , and his intolerable pride in all his misfortune .sx So ended the Queen's confession , which having called fresh to her mind all that had passed between her and Essex made her more troubled than ever .sx The Countess of Nottingham had listened with keen interest , for she , as well as the Queen , had been in love with the Earl of Essex !sx But newly understanding the reason for his coldness it added infinitely to her former resentment .sx She had no mind to condemn the Queen's weakness knowing herself guilty of the like , nor was she inclined to speak in favour of a man who had grown so much the more odious to her as she had formerly loved him .sx She thought it sufficient to comfort the Queen with words that seemed to proceed only from loyalty , when in truth her thoughts were wholly bent for the ruin of an ungrateful lover , who , in her eyes deserved nothing but hatred .sx Though the Earl of Essex did not fall for the Countess of Nottingham , yet another was her admirer , whose character did in a way make her amends .sx It was Secretary Cecil , who , amidst his great offices and the gravity that became them , discovered in the beauty , ingenuity , and personal charm of the Countess of Nottingham an attraction that made him capable of strong feelings for her .sx This was heightened by their mutual hatred of Essex , Cecil having always looked upon him as an invincible obstacle to his ambitious pretentions , whilst the Countess had against him all the rage of an aversion that usually succeeds rejected love .sx They were glad of the imprisonment of the Earl of Essex , but the favourable inclinations the Queen expressed alarmed them .sx The Countess had no sooner taken leave of the Queen than she gave Cecil an account of all she had learnt .sx Having considered the consequences they concluded it necessary , while their sovereign pined secretly for the prisoner , that ways should be found , without their appearing conspicuous , to take away the mercy which love might well inspire her with .sx Cecil , for the first step , pressed the Queen to bring Essex to trial , and caused certain news of his death to be spread throughout England .sx Essex , meantime , was busied with thoughts of more weight than those of his life .sx He knew well enough the Queen loved him , also that he had deceived her , and that she might with a great deal of justice , not only reproach but condemn him .sx The Queen had not seen him since his departure for Ireland , but not having the power to give him up to his ill-fortune she resolved to go to his house , where he was prisoner , to reproach him as he deserved and endeavour if possible to find him innocent .sx It was not far from Whitehall to Essex House , and the Queen so arranged the matter that no notice was taken of the visit , having been introduced by her confidants .sx Essex was very surprised at the arrival of the Queen , and the languishing condition she was in made her weak in his presence .sx All was in his favour , the victory seemed easy .sx He addressed her with the utmost respect , but upon doing so she broke down , crying bitterly for some minutes .sx " Well , Robert , " she began , after a pause , " you see what I do for you , notwithstanding all the crimes I can reproach you with .sx I have come with a design to hear you , to see if you have anything to say to justify yourself .sx I have loved you too well , and wish it above all things ; but I would that Heaven were pleased your justification might be realised even by the most precious thing in my power !sx " " My greatest crime is that I thought myself too secure , Ma'm , " replied the Earl , desperately .sx " Had you rested there !sx " said the Queen , " I should have been too well satisfied .sx But to believe yourself secure , was it necessary you should betray me ?sx And did you have need to use violence , to make yourself master of a fortune I was willing to share ?sx What reason had you to seek protection from the Kings of Scotland and Spain ?sx Did any interest force you to correspond with Tyrone ?sx And was it for the safety of my person you designed to make me your prisoner , and his ?sx All you have done since to my subjects , against my orders ; are these the expressions of your respect ?sx Is it by this murder and treason that you shew your devotion to me and the public ?sx Or is all we have seen and heard of you but an illusion ?sx " " Yes , Ma'm , " he said , " those accusations of treason and evil design have run me upon the desperate resistance I made .sx You have been pleased to heap favours upon me , and I too proud of what I so little deserved flattered myself with the expectation of a thousand pleasures , which you had not forbid me to hope for .sx This let loose the envy and jealousy of others against my good fortune .sx They abused your Majesty with misinformation and I had the misfortune to be assured you had ordered my arrest , although my innocence would have persuaded me to the contrary .sx I confess , I was enraged to see my enemies gloat over my downfall , being abandoned by your Majesty and on the point of suffering , perhaps , a shameful death .sx I thought it neither good for my reputation , nor your Majesty's honour , that I should die as a criminal .sx This forced me to those ends they reproach me with and the resolution I took to go out of England in hopes to confound my accusers .sx But I found all ways of escape closed , and must acknowledge that in so desperate a condition I took revenge on your ministers .sx They , Ma'm , and only they , were the object of the rebellion I am charged with .sx My design was that those who had so industriously laboured to make me appear guilty should do me right in declaring my innocence , and permit me to lay it , and my life , at your Majesty's feet .sx I never doubted that your Majesty would have done me the honour of a fair hearing .sx And that by a clear discovery of the truth I should have certainly frustrated them .sx But their malice has had success :sx to see me a prisoner , hated by my sovereign , despised by the world , and made a sacrifice to their rage .sx And now , what remains , that I receive the sentence of death pronounced by them , and see Cobham , Cecil , Raleigh , and their fellows , share the favours you honoured me with ?sx " " Be assured I do not hate you , " said the Queen , interrupting him , " but shall I believe you ?sx Yet should I not believe ?sx Can I give you up to your ill fate ?sx " " I shall never murmur against your Majesty's orders , " replied the Earl , " but submit to them readily whatever they may be .sx " The Earl of Essex knew the weak side of the Queen , and easily revived in her that love he had formerly inspired her with .sx " No , " she said , having paused a while , " you shall not die .sx Make use of your advantage , triumph over a heart whose inclinations you very well know .sx I will believe your intentions less criminal than they appear , but , Robert , I warn you by that love of which you have particular experience that you give me no cause to repent of it .sx Trouble not yourself for your reputation and honour I will take care to repair it , and before two days be over I will restore you to the highest place you ever held .sx " Essex , overcome with joy by the success of this meeting , affected the Queen so much that he restored her spirits to perfect tranquility .sx At parting she promised to call the Council on the following day , and , in an ostentatious manner , declare him innocent .sx As soon as it was daylight , she sent for Cecil ; the Countess of Nottingham attended her .sx Having told them in a few words of a great conflict between her Justice and her Mercy , she concluded for the latter , and ordered Cecil to summon the Council that she might declare to them the design she had to set Essex at liberty , assuring him she had invincible reasons for doing so .sx This was a mortal blow to the ambitious Cecil and the Countess of Nottingham ; they looked at one another perplexed , as if they would have asked each others [SIC] advice on what course was to be taken .sx Afterwards they spoke to the Queen in hopes to divert her , but she was inflexible ; Cecil was forced to order an Extraordinary Meeting of the Council .sx But while the Earl of Essex's enemies thought his good fortune on the point of being reconciled to him chance laboured for them with unexpected success .sx As the Queen was going to Council word was brought that the Countess of Rutland desired an audience .sx The Queen blushed as she remembered what was past , and looking on the request as unreasonable and unlucky she was minded to put off the Countess to another time .sx But considering that she never denied any person access , and that the Countess of Rutland was a Lady of the highest repute , she commanded her to be admitted .sx Though her face was sad , her dress and gait very careless , yet her beauty was outstanding .sx Moving forward she threw herself at the Queen's feet .sx " Madam , " she cried , " I come to implore your Majesty's goodness for the unfortunate Earl of Essex !sx " " For the Earl of Essex ?sx "