JOE JOE'S NOTICE-BOARD .sx BY B. A. McPHEE .sx " Un paquete de cigarillos , seno@2r , " said the man with the small cloth cap , the white arms and the cheery tourist smile .sx " You mean a packet of cigarettes , " Joe Joe replied in English , first regretting his abruptness , then on instant reflection not regretting it but thinking that perhaps he should have been even more curt .sx These tourists were trying on one's patience at times , with their vague ill-pronounced Spanish and their standard benign smiles .sx Joe Joe had once thought of putting up a notice reading ~'A LITTLE ENGLISH SPOKEN HERE .sx ' He had actually obtained the board , and his friend Jose@2 Puerette@2 had gallantly volunteered to paint it for him free of cost .sx They had set to work early one evening , Jose@2 with a large tin of purple paint , which he said he'd found on the wharf , and a strong brush borrowed from Carlo Berrano , the owner of the only hardware shop in Pasto Del Sol .sx However , the word 'SPOKEN' had presented an unsurmountable problem .sx Joe Joe had to admit that the spelling of the word was beyond him , and he knew no one that night who could help him in any way .sx So the work had stopped there ; for Jose@2 had to get the paint back to the wharf before morning , in case , as he said , " the person who owns it wants to use it .sx " In point of fact , Joe Joe was glad that the notice-board had never been completed and that it was instead cast into the back of his shop with the empty wine-bottles and the vegetable-bags- dust-covered and useless .sx He had discussed the matter at length with Seno@2r Juarez , who had once been on the town council and who was able ( so it was said ) to combine aesthetic appreciation with a fine business brain- a rare quality in any man .sx It was also widely known that Seno@2r Juarez had composed a poem , and a few close friends of his had heard this poem recited , but only after a lot of persuasion on their part and a lot of vinos on the part of Seno@2r Juarez .sx Seno@2r Juarez had advised that it was unsound practice to deprive a tourist of the pleasure of trying to speak a little Spanish .sx He had been told once , he said , that some English tourists took courses in Spanish especially for their annual holidays , and these people must be humoured and encouraged to use this knowledge of which they were secretly very proud .sx If they weren't pampered in this way they could find no justification for a fortnight's idleness in the sun , and indeed their main sense of purpose was destroyed- they thereby suffered a slump in morale and concluded that Pasto Del Sol was an ungrateful place and would determine to go to Italy for their holidays next year .sx Although Joe Joe could not understand all of what Seno@2r Juarez had said , there was no doubt that one should accept the advice of an experienced and educated man , and especially one who had been on the town council and had written a poem .sx Life was difficult , Joe Joe reflected .sx Seno@2r Juarez was not afflicted with a temper such as his , nor did he run a little shop which , during the summer , was often filled with tourist people who all smiled at you widely in the same tourist way , and expected you to smile widely back at them in such a manner as to indicate that you were pleased that they had smiled at you .sx Joe Joe made up his mind to see Father Brenes at the little church on the hill about his problem .sx It wasn't that he liked burdening Father Brenes with his minor worries , but the good and kind Father had assisted him once before about the same thing , and hadn't he said , " If this occurs again , Joe Joe , then please come to see me :sx I'm always ready to see one of our little flock .sx " That was the time his wife Maria had called him an 'under-grown donkey' and after , when he had restrained himself from saying anything in reply , she had thrown a melon at him , and this when his back was turned and he was looking out of the window for guidance .sx Then he had all but lost his temper .sx As he said to Father Brenes at the time , " I nearly swore at her , Father .sx It was only by clasping the window-sill and clenching my teeth that I saved myself from uttering a blasphemous word .sx " " You did right , my son , " Father Brenes had said .sx " You did right to clench your teeth and clasp the window-sill and utter not a word .sx But you were wrong in even contemplating using such a word , because the proper Christian attitude is one of patience , tolerance and understanding , and two wrongs don't make a right .sx " So now he hoped that he would not feel any similar temptations , but it would be especially difficult if Maria threw another melon at him when his back was turned .sx " .sx .And two boxes of matches , " the white-armed tourist continued , the laughter having gone from his voice .sx Joe Joe cut a piece of brown paper with the large wooden-handled all-purpose knife , wrapped up the cigarettes and matches and handed them to the now somewhat disinterested customer .sx " Gracias , " acknowledged the white-armed one , a suggestion of a smile returning to his lips .sx " Adios , seno@2r , " Joe Joe said .sx Maria called down the steps that descended to the shop from the two rooms above , which formed their little home .sx " Joe Joe , " she shouted , " when are you going to close the shop and clean the fish which are making my kitchen smell like a fish-shop ?sx " " I am going to close the shop now , Maria , " he answered resignedly , " and I will then clean the fish which are making your kitchen smell like a fish-shop .sx " Maria was sitting in her usual position in a heavy and ornately designed wooden chair given to her by her mother at the time of her marriage to Joe Joe .sx Since then it had occupied a large area of the small kitchen .sx She had an almost irritating habit of shuffling her feet on the bare boards as she sat and sewed .sx She was carefully embroidering a lace handkerchief , as she had been doing for six weeks now .sx " I can't smell anything , " Joe Joe commented as he came up the stairs sniffing loudly .sx " It's all right for you , " his wife replied sharply , " down in that shop all day while I'm stuck here with two uncleaned fish for company .sx " Joe Joe nearly said , ~'Why didn't you clean them yourself , by Saint Christopher ?sx ' but remembered Father Brenes and instead picked up the fish and began scaling them with the all-purpose knife .sx He glanced over at Maria as she sat there in her formidable high-backed chair with her six-weeks' lace handkerchief on her knee , and as he put one fish down and picked up another , his mind drifted back to the night , many years ago , when he and Maria had together sat on the little pebbly beach that adjoins the beach of Pasto Del Sol .sx He and Maria had been courting then .sx She had stolen away from her Mama ( a significant woman ) to meet him below the cliff-face at the far end of the bay .sx Together they had sat throwing hard , round pebbles into the dark waters , and there was a moon that was not a full moon but was nevertheless the finest moon that Joe Joe had seen up until then .sx Maria had long black hair when she was young .sx It reached down her back in a broad sweep .sx It was her pride and joy , and the pride and joy of her Mama , and the talk of the lads at the Market Square on Saturday nights .sx Her eyes were deep and dark , and her waist one of the slimmest in the village .sx It was possible to wind the cane band at the top of a lobster-pot round it with ease .sx That night he had trembled .sx Trembled at the calm , dark waters , the moon and the pebbly beach .sx Trembled when he touched her long warm fingers and heard her soft low pebbly-beach voice .sx Then he had kissed her red lips , once , clumsily but strongly .sx The night had been still and silent and even the waves slumbered .sx He had said to her , as they sat there mute together , " Maria , my lovely Maria , I want you to marry me , " and she'd replied with a spontaneity which amazed him .sx " I will , Joe Joe , my darling little Joe Joe , but we must wait until your father lets you have his shop for yourself and then we may make our home in the two rooms above the little shop .sx It is best Joe Joe , and Mama would think so too .sx " Joe Joe had been so elated and the months succeeding had been so blissful that he had become less and less aware of Maria's four large front teeth , which protruded from her mouth very sharply , and which also were the talk of the lads at the Market Square on Saturday nights .sx Now the ebony black hair was discoloured with grey strands and tied in a tight and severe bun .sx Her eyes were still deep and dark it was true , and flashed , it was also true , but somehow in a different way .sx Now it would be impossible to wind around her waist even the lowest band of a lobster-pot , and the voice of the pebbly beach was no more .sx Joe Joe finished getting the fish washed and laid them neatly on a large flat plate .sx He cleaned the all-purpose knife with the long wooden handle and put it away carefully .sx Taking up his sombrero and with a quick " Adios " to Maria , who did not take her eyes from her sewing ( for strict concentration was required ) , he walked out of the door with his hands deep in his pockets .sx It was Joe Joe's custom to keep his hands in his pockets on the way to the Cafe@2 Del Costa , since he could count the coins he had there as he walked along and thereby gauge the number of cognacs he would be able to purchase .sx At the cafe@2 he met his friend Jose@2 Puerette@2 , as he did every evening , and the two friends shook hands warmly and sat at their usual place at a table in the corner .sx " Well , Joe Joe , my friend , " Jose@2 said ; " the fish were not biting today , but the water was calm and the sun was hot and my brother and I were not greatly disappointed .sx " Jose@2 and his brother were the joint-owners of a fishing-boat which , laden with nets , set off from the beach every morning just as the sun peeped over the mountains at the back of Pasto Del Sol , in an almost fruitless search for fish .sx It was said ( allegedly by rivals ) that the Puerette@2 brothers , who had not been fishermen for long , lacked the native instinct of the others whose fathers and whose fathers before them were fishermen of the bay , and that this accounted for their singular lack of success in obtaining hauls .sx Others said that they spent too much time in siesta and that they would pull round one of the rocky inlets to the north of the bay and anchor there , sleeping , munching bread and drinking wine .sx Joe Joe did not really believe this latter story which he suspected was invented by Jose@2's wife , a hardworking but mean woman with sharp cheek-bones .sx In fact , Jose@2 was a resourceful and practical person who , one afternoon when the boat had started to fill up with water from a large leak , had calmly awakened his brother and then had swum ashore to enlist help , leaving his brother to tread water so as to mark the spot where the boat had sunk .sx With the aid of other boats the craft had been brought to the surface and towed ashore , and Jose@2 had that night accepted many congratulationary cognacs proffered him by those who admired his quick thinking and coolness in a crisis .sx