Finally Julian re-crossed his legs , and concentrated on the news .sx When Janet brought in tea he said :sx 'Tell her we've got too many people coming , then .sx It won't deceive her , but it will please you .sx ' 'No,' said Janet , tired , 'I shall ask her .sx You'd make us miserable if I didn't .sx I shall ask her .sx Have you taken your pill , by the way ?sx ' He smiled and felt hastily in his waistcoat pocket , apologetic with victory .sx Janet drank her tea and compressed her lips , warming her legs at the large coal fire .sx They were assembled in the hall that was large enough to be a room , drinking sherry before dinner , on Christmas Eve .sx Julian's mother , small and stout , in a lavender woolly and lavender skirt , smiled at each member of the family as they came up to talk .sx She alone sat down , a dignity due to age .sx Janet's widowed sister , Doris , trotted in and out with more glasses :sx a robust , sensible woman , similar to Janet in appearance .sx The elder grandchildren drank self-consciously .sx Julian's brother , Paul , leaned on the back of old Mrs. Harford's chair , and avoided his wife , May .sx He had been drinking too much again .sx Julian wondered why , and was too afraid to find out .sx The youngest children were in bed , ready to wake at 3 a.m. and open their presents .sx Someone had given John a drum , blast them .sx And Celia had telephoned in the afternoon , breathlessly , saying that the car had broken down and she was bringing a friend- was that all right ?sx ' 'I'm not putting them in the same room,' whispered Janet furiously .sx 'I won't countenance cheap affairs at Christmas , with a house full of impressionable young people !sx ' 'It might be a girl-friend,' said Julian rationally , untruthfully .sx Janet gave a swift , sharp snort and flounced past him .sx Julian's eldest daughter , the one person he loved as much as Celia , was coming downstairs .sx She was happy to be home for Christmas , and this time with her first baby to steal attention .sx Julian patted her as she walked past .sx 'Everything all right , Sue ?sx ' She nodded and smiled .sx He hoped her husband , a nice enough young chap , was good to her .sx She seemed to like him , anyway .sx They were usually squeezing each other's hands and sidling together .sx Perhaps it would work out , but time made a difference .sx Celia and that Forster fellow had been wild about each other .sx Julian put up the money for their elopement and never told anyone :sx it rankled with him .sx 'I don't think we should keep the dinner back much longer , do you ?sx ' said Janet , on a rising tone .sx 'No , dear .sx Of course not,' said Doris , who agreed with her .sx 'Celia won't mind , I'm sure,' said Julian , nervous for her reception .sx Paul smiled into his sherry as though it were having a private joke .sx Old Mrs. Harford began stiffly to rise , helped by her sons .sx Julian's head ached as he lead his mother into the dining-room .sx All these people , he thought , and I don't care much for any of them .sx What a stupid , expensive hypocrisy , family Christmas .sx If Sue wasn't here , if Celia wasn't coming- nothing in it for me .sx Nothing in it at all .sx He looked down the double row of family faces , eating , drinking , talking , and wondered whether they felt the same .sx And he counted the people he had really loved , in his life :sx the ones he would die for , gladly .sx There didn't seem to be very many .sx It was a bit of a waste , spending your life with people you didn't want .sx Why not collect round you the odd few you loved , and spend it with them instead ?sx A commotion in the hall .sx Julian's heart beat rapidly and he bent over his soup and pretended not to notice .sx 'That will be Celia,' said Janet , and scraped her chair back , her napkin clutched in her large capable hand .sx A flutter passed visibly round the table .sx Celia was a disturbance , pleasant or unpleasant according to taste .sx The door was flung open and Julian felt her presence a few feet behind him .sx Her light , quick voice pattered out a vague and charming list of woes .sx 'Hallo , hallo,' said Julian , pushing back his chair .sx 'Merry Christmas , C.' He got up and took both her hands in his , kissed her cold cheek .sx Her voice bubbled past his ear as she answered and kissed him , but he could not have told what she said .sx Janet and Doris were looking stuffy and mottled in their tight best dresses .sx 'Everybody's so smart !sx ' wailed Celia , throwing her fur coat on a side table .sx It fell , with a silky thud , on the carpet .sx Someone picked it up .sx 'I just came as I was,' said Celia , and had contrived to make the others feel over-dressed , 'in my old sweater and skirt .sx But I've brought you lovely , lovely presents .sx Let me show you-' 'After dinner,' said Janet briskly .sx 'Do come and sit down , Celia .sx And what have you done with your friend ?sx ' 'Oh my God !sx ' said Celia , 'I forgot .sx Yoo-hoo .sx Mark , sweetie .sx Come and meet my lovely family .sx ' She was determined in her gaiety , in her clinging to a style of prettiness which had suited her when she was young .sx 'Come on !sx ' she called , nervous and laughing .sx 'He's shy .sx Poor Mark .sx ' Perhaps he sensed that he was 6de trop before he came in because his entrance was both dignified and defiant .sx A universal gasp among the family .sx Celia had done it again .sx Lean , tall and personable though Mark was- he was an African .sx 'What a terrible thing,' whispered Doris , 'and mother the age she is , too .sx ' 'At Christmas,' said Janet .sx Celia held Mark's hand and smiled into his face .sx She had the ability to concentrate herself on one person at one time and it took some of the uncertainty from his expression .sx 'They're awfully glad you've come,' said Celia to him , as though the room were empty .sx 'He plays the trumpet , professionally,' she said , turning to them .sx 'I made him bring it .sx After dinner he'll play the blues .sx Markie,' she said , touching her throat with a gesture that tore Julian , 'just gets me when he plays the trumpet .sx ' Still the family had not come up to scratch .sx Her wide-spaced blue eyes garnered and sorted the message .sx Her smile wavered .sx 'We're awfully hungry,' she said , 'awfully hungry , Julian .sx ' 'Delighted,' said Julian , jerked by her appeal into shaking Mark's hand .sx 'Do sit down , both of you .sx You must certainly play for us , if you will , Mr. er-' 'Just call him " Mark",' said Celia .sx 'Second names are so unfriendly , and his is unpronounceable .sx How is everybody ?sx Darling Mummy , always so sweet .sx Doris .sx Janet .sx May .sx Sue , have you brought little poppet ?sx I must see him .sx Do you adore him frantically ?sx - lucky you .sx And dear Paul- oh , Paul .sx ' 'Yes,' said Paul , 'I'm drinking too much , C.' 'But why ?sx ' Julian wished he could have asked this , but he listened .sx 'Because,' said Paul , 'a family is like a bloody great pillow on your face .sx Suffocation .sx And I drink to forget that terrible fact .sx ' 'Oh , Paul !sx ' everyone said , laughing to cover up the truth .sx 'I'm surrounded,' said Paul , 'by people I wish well .sx I do wish you well .sx And I wish you well away .sx You're all lovely .sx Good , clean-living , strong-minded , short-sighted salts of the earth .sx There is no spot in you .sx But for Christ's sake why can't you be salty without me ?sx Why don't you let me alone ?sx ' 'We'll have a long talk afterwards , Paulie,' said Celia , touching the back of his hand .sx 'Eat your dinner , darling .sx ' Comforted , keeping himself fastidiously from contact with his wife or his wife's chair , he began to cut his meat into smaller and smaller pieces .sx Julian formed a picture of Celia by frequent glances .sx She must be touching up her hair , it never used to be quite that auburn shade , more of a russet .sx She had noticeable lines round eyes and mouth and her neck was hollowed .sx In repose her face showed her age , but Celia was rarely still .sx She was dressed in some pretty , fuzzy material :sx dark , soft blue and no jewellery .sx 'You're looking well , C.,' said Julian , and cleared his throat .sx A cross-current of conversation prevented her reply .sx 'But I always put my babies on pots right away,' said old Mrs. Harford , reprovingly .sx 'But it's such a waste of time , the book says .sx .' ' .sx .and it saved nappies and got them into good habits .sx ' 'Put a pillow on his face and get him out of it,' said Paul to himself , 'it's kinder in the long run .sx .' 'I know you don't like sprouts,' said Doris , flustered , 'but you've no need to make such a fuss .sx One would think you were seven , instead of seventeen .sx ' 'More gravy , Mother ?sx ' said Janet .sx 'Staying in England long , Mr. er- Mark ?sx ' asked Julian courteously .sx 'I don't quite know , sir,' said Mark .sx His deep voice jolted the family , and two rows of heads ducked to their plates , silenced .sx 'He's staying at my flat just now,' said Celia , and they all started to talk at once .sx Julian , exchanging glances with Paul , caught a curious look in Celia's eyes , of irony and sadness .sx 'I hate family Christmas,' said Paul , loudly .sx She leaned forward , at once aware of him :sx a child to be comforted .sx 'Never mind , sweetie .sx Never mind .sx ' And Mark could play .sx Licking his purplish lips , first , then raising the trumpet as though it were a taste of wine :sx setting his mouth to it as though it were a girl to be kissed .sx His long back and legs , his narrow hips , arched into one effortless curve :sx an attitude for the trumpet .sx And he played .sx The younger ones and Celia urged him on .sx He drank water , rested , smiled , and played again .sx His music ran in their ears , darker than his skin , sweeter than honey .sx They sat on the stairs , listening .sx Old Mrs. Harford fell asleep .sx Paul , stupified , shut his eyes .sx Julian stood , a little awkwardly , against the newel post , and applauded loudly .sx He had little knowledge of music but he wanted Celia to feel that he approved of her friend .sx She squeezed his arm and smiled , translating him .sx Doris and Janet disappeared , alienated , to discuss to-morrow's Christmas lunch , and Celia's latest gaffe .sx Sue thought her baby was crying , though no one else noticed .sx She hurried up the stairs :sx in the earliest stage of loving him .sx She would have carried him about with her all the time if it were socially permissible .sx 'Now , sir,' said Mark to Julian , in his dark , slow voice , 'what can I play for you ?sx ' He implied compliment and Julian was flustered , afraid of failing him .sx Celia leaned forward , her hair swinging past her brother's bulky waistcoat .sx 'Play " Savoy " , Markie , darling .sx Jule doesn't know the name but he knows the tune .sx ' Mark began to make melancholy love with the trumpet and Julian was stricken as by Celia's pathos at dinner .sx His eyes sharpened for an instant with tears which he was concerned to hide .sx What's wrong with me , this Christmas ?sx he wondered , finding no answer .sx Only it seemed to him that he was suddenly middle-aged and had never possessed what he truly desired .sx Composed , he turned to smile at Celia and found his mood reflected in her face .sx He concentrated again on Mark , and clapped louder than anyone else when it was over .sx 'Again , sir ?sx ' said Mark , absorbed , respectful .sx He had noticed something .sx Dignified beggar .sx 'No , no , thank you .sx I enjoyed it , though .sx Tremendously .sx Old favourite of mine .sx Thank you very much .sx ' Mark bowed and stood silent .sx 'I think we'll have some family carols now,' said Janet in a high , bright voice , 'and Mama must go to bed .sx Come along , darling .sx Where's Sue got to ?sx That baby of hers will be ruined .sx She picks him up every time he cries .sx ' As Janet passed Julian she stared through him ; her powdery skin flushed on the cheekbones ; her best court shoes uncomfortable and smart .sx She trod on Celia's fuzzy skirt as she sat , rapt , at the foot of the stairs .sx 'Sorry , Celia,' said Janet heartily , 'but we're getting Mama to bed .sx '