CHAPTER ONE .sx THE hospital was literally sited at the cross-roads , though set back from the street by a drive of about a hundred and fifty yards and cushioned by rounded shrubs and a belt of trees which helped to absorb the noise of the traffic .sx There was a large new roundabout and a sign which gave the distances to both Edinburgh and London , Great Yarmouth and Liverpool , for besides being at the cross-roads , St. John's was also sited roughly at the heart of England , the highways resembling vast arteries pouring the flood tide of commerce and private pleasure in four entirely different directions .sx Diana Wills often sat on the brand new seat outside the hospital gates and thought vagrant thoughts .sx At one time she had watched the workmen constructing the roundabout , which was to put St. John's Casualty Department out of operation- in theory , at least .sx She would think of herself as a stranger in these parts studying these cross-roads .sx Which one to take ?sx " If I were a tramp I would simply blow a feather , " she decided , rather envying the gentleman of the road his freedom of decision , and wishing life would sometimes allow serious-minded women doctors to blow a feather and follow its airy directions accordingly .sx " If I were needing a job I'd go to London , of course , " she went on .sx " There are all sorts of wonderful jobs in London and I could take my pick , whereas in Yarmouth one has to know something about fishing and in Liverpool they'd want sea-farers .sx I don't think I'd go to Edinburgh unless I was a Scot and wanting to get home , or perhaps a student studying to be a doctor , and I already know all about that .sx " Being at a cross-roads was unsettling , she also decided .sx One felt as though one hadn't arrived anywhere .sx True , St. John's was on the outskirts of Farlingham , a small , prosperous North Midlands town , but apart from the inhabitants everybody else regarded Farlingham as a spot where one could fill up the car , have a cup of tea and go on to somewhere else with vastly more to offer in the way of opportunity and entertainment .sx It was getting too cool for sitting on the seat by early October , Di decided , as she collected her various items of shopping- she never carried a basket- and prepared to go inside for tea .sx She felt chilled to the bone and somewhat depressed .sx Normally she looked forward to her days off , an expedition into town , a visit either to her hairdresser or the cinema and Nigel dashing out to join her for either luncheon or tea in his screaming red M.G. She was engaged to Nigel , had been for two years .sx Sometimes they talked on the theme of " when we get " , and then all was wonderful , and perhaps it had only been a slip of the tongue when Nigel had said , only last evening , " If we get married , old girl , you'll have to stop that lark , I can tell you !sx " She couldn't remember what they had been talking about or which 'lark' she would have to stop , only that significant tiny word shouted into her very soul a horn of warning , and with it was coupled a disembodied fragment of information , which now took on an ominous significance :sx Nigel had been seen in Farlingham on an occasion he had sworn he had been standing in for Luke Parsons at his surgery in Little Phelpham .sx Now Nigel had every right to go where he liked during his off-duty periods when she was not free ; this much they had conceded one to the other .sx They rarely found they were off duty together , and the situation would have been intolerable had there not been some give and take about their relationship .sx So when Nigel had told her about taking Luke's evening surgery she had said , " Bless you !sx I hope Luke is suitably grateful , darling .sx " " Oh , well , " he shrugged diffidently , " I like the work .sx One gets plenty of variety and it's a change .sx " Nigel was the hospital's Junior Medical Officer .sx " You won't be free about nine , I suppose , to meet me for supper somewhere ?sx " she had asked hopefully .sx " Hardly likely , my sweet .sx Luke's surgery goes on for hours .sx If they get in before eight-thirty , even though they're standing on one another's toes , I've got to see 'em .sx If I am free , though , I'll give you a ring , O.K.? " O.K. , " she had replied readily .sx So how could Nigel have been at the Load of Trouble roadhouse , dancing with a blonde at eight-thirty that very evening ?sx " No , " she told Phil Gubbins , a junior houseman , " it wasn't Nigel you saw , my lad .sx " " It was Nigel's car , anyway .sx NUF 121 .sx " " He probably loaned his car to somebody , Phil .sx He's always doing that .sx " Young Gubbins shrugged .sx " I didn't see his face , Di , but it certainly looked like Nigel from the back .sx D.j. and all .sx Of course such as I couldn't afford to go into the Load of Trouble .sx " " Neither can Nigel , " smiled Diana .sx " He's saving up to get married .sx Remember ?sx " " I remember , " quipped the houseman , meaning no offence , " but does he ?sx That blonde was something .sx " " Anybody I know ?sx " she smiled .sx " I think so .sx I got a good look at her .sx But if Nigel wasn't there it isn't important , is it ?sx " " No , " Di said immediately .sx " It isn't at all important .sx " But after that slight slip of the tongue on Nigel's part she had realised it was important enough for her to have remembered , and it was as though a red mist veiled her usually clear sight and made her think there was an abyss immediately ahead .sx " Nigel , " she had besought him , " you know that evening you took Luke Parson's [SIC] surgery and there was a woman with a cyst on her ear .sx . ?sx " " 5Ye-es ?sx " he lowered his eyes and kissed her on the mouth , an act of devotion he didn't over-indulge .sx " What about it , my sweet ?sx " " Well , " she laughed suddenly in an upsurging of relief , " that stupid Gubbins boy thought he saw you at the Load of Trouble .sx With a blonde , too .sx Imagine !sx " Nigel was frowning .sx He looked distinguished when he frowned ; boyishly handsome at other times .sx " Gubbins ?sx Gubbins ?sx " he fretted .sx " Who's he ?sx " Though Diana knew the name of every member of the staff , distinguished or not , Nigel often had to think hard to sort them out .sx " He's the carrotty [SIC] lad , isn't he ?sx " he now demanded .sx " What was he doing at the Load of Trouble ?sx " " Oh , he wasn't .sx His motor-bike had broken down outside and he noticed your car and then you dancing with this blonde .sx " " Really ?sx " Nigel cocked one eyebrow .sx " Actually she was brunette at the roots and I had a redhead on the other arm .sx He would have told you this , too ?sx " " No , " she laughed .sx " He didn't actually see you .sx Because it was your car I suppose he presumed it was you , all dressed up in your dinner suit .sx " " My white or my black ?sx " Nigel enquired .sx " Now I wonder which I wore at that particular surgery ?sx " " You are a fool , darling , " Di said happily .sx " I shall take great pleasure in telling that young man exactly what you were doing that evening .sx " " No , don't , " he said , after kissing her again .sx " I rather like to have the housemen think of me as a two-timing Don Juan .sx I'm such a dull fellow , really .sx " " Dull ?sx " She couldn't believe it .sx Self-deprecation was not one of Nigel's usual attributes .sx " You need your holiday , darling .sx I only wish I could go with you !sx " " Doctor Wills , if you're making improper suggestions .sx .? " " It would make me more interesting , I suppose ?sx " she enquired archly .sx " No , it wouldn't !sx " he almost snapped , surprising her .sx " You sounded like somebody else for a moment there .sx It doesn't become you to behave like a- a tart , Di .sx " " Nigel- !sx " she gasped .sx " I didn't mean to behave like anything of the kind .sx I was only joking .sx " " Well , don't .sx It's miserable enough my having to take my leave in the autumn without you trying to be bright and gay about it .sx I'm going with a shooting party .sx What else can I do at this time of year ?sx I can't ask you up because it's a strictly stag affair .sx " " I know .sx I didn't expect .sx . " " Well , don't keep hinting , then .sx You wish you could come with me ; you hope I'll miss you ; you can't imagine the hospital without me for three weeks , etcetera , etcetera !sx " Diana's face was drained of colour .sx She was almost angry for a moment .sx " Am I expected not to mind your going away for three weeks ?sx " she asked simply .sx He looked at her , noting , as for the first time , the pansy blue of the eyes that were his fiance@2e's best feature .sx Her hair was of a chestnut brown shade , which glinted with gold in the evenings , he had noticed .sx Her figure was small and exquisite , like a schoolgirl's still , and he admired her legs , which the male sex were inclined to regard first .sx " I would mind if you didn't " he told her grimly , and tugged her fiercely into his arms .sx " You're right , pet .sx I do need this leave .sx I'm bad-tempered and broody and going out with brash blondes .sx I don't deserve you .sx " " Darling !sx " her voiced caressed him .sx " Moments like this make all the waiting worth while .sx When we're married we won't have these explosions of emotion , will we ?sx " " No , " he eyed her strangely .sx " I wish we were married , Di .sx Like a patient wishes his operation was over .sx " Again her laughter trilled .sx " Marriage isn't as bad as an operation , Nigel !sx " " Isn't it ?sx " he rose and smoothed himself down .sx " Ask any bridegroom-to-be .sx Anyhow , that particular problem isn't looming at the moment , thank God !sx " Problem .sx . ?sx looming .sx . ?sx " Are we discussing a marriage or a burial ?sx " she asked , hardly believing he could be serious .sx " Surely marrying me isn't going to be all that bad ?sx If it is- " she laughed uncertainly- " you can have your ring back .sx " She loosened the half-hoop of diamonds on her left hand third finger and held it out to him , still playfully .sx Without a glimmer of amusement in his own eyes , however , he took it , looking moodily beyond her .sx " Perhaps it's as well if you don't wear it for a bit , Di , " he told her .sx " But I want it !sx " she protested .sx " It's my ring .sx " " You just gave it back to me .sx " " I didn't !sx I was joking .sx You know I was joking , Nigel .sx " " You shouldn't joke about serious things like engagements .sx " " Don't be such a baby !sx " They were going to have an open quarrel any minute , and she knew it .sx Almost in desperation she appealed , " Will you meet me at the gate , four o'clock tomorrow ?sx " " Why ?sx " he enquired , combing his thick , tawny hair .sx " To bring me up for tea , of course .sx I just thought .sx " " I'll see , " he told her , and suddenly seized her in an embrace which really hurt .sx " Without your ring it's just like kissing somebody else's girl , " he decided wickedly , and kissed her again , somewhat startled to receive a sharp slap for his pains .sx " If I were somebody else's girl that's what you'd get , " she flashed at him , and so had left him , on her dignity and not seeing the look of admiration and revelation which had followed her slim young figure out of his sight .sx " Mine , " Nigel Lester had decided with a sigh of satisfaction , and then regarded the ring which he retrieved from his pocket .sx " At a price , " he concluded , with some bitterness .sx Thus had they parted the previous evening and now Diana was trailing up the gravelled drive to the hospital alone .sx Of course one couldn't say for certain when a doctor would be free during the day ; tea was served from four until five-thirty in the residents' common-room , which proved the elasticity of medical commitments .sx Something had cropped up which required Nigel's attention , she was convinced , or he would have granted her small request to be met at the gates .sx They often had such a rendezvous , for there was just time to smoke a cigarette , if one walked slowly , between road and hospital .sx