16 .sx CHINESE GEESE .sx EARLY in our occupation of Pond Cottage , when it was yet scarcely homely , I heard another and uglier noise .sx It was the voices of two geese , and they were to plague us for many a month .sx Looking out of my bedroom window in the early light I observed these lovely birds floating lightly on the water's surface and giving off at intervals a colourable imitation of a klaxon-horn .sx Inquiry revealed that they were the property of one of my neighbours , whose custom it was to give them the freedom of the water at frequent intervals .sx They were of the kind called Chinese geese but they were far from inscrutable .sx They were vile in temper , dreadful bullies and cowards , noisy in and out of season , and , as I have said , really beautiful .sx It seemed surprising to me that so much that was objectionable should reside in such a lovely source .sx An inquiry of their owner , a calm man who seemed unmoved by their clamour , as parents enjoy the crying of their children , revealed the excellent news that , though he had hoped for better things , they were both females and unlikely on that account to produce young of their kind .sx I realized that I had had a fortunate escape when he also added that they were the only two survivors of a brood of eight .sx 'Terribly delicate , they are , as chicks' , he said , and it was , I dare say , too much to hope that this delicacy would persist into adult life .sx It was perhaps evidence of their unabatable vitality that during the two years I knew them they produced , and brooded upon , infertile eggs of very large size in considerable numbers , one of which the owner presented to me 'for my breakfast' .sx Now either I had to live with them , a nearly impossible proposition , since every time I put my head over the hedge they produced a series of loud metallic cries , or I had to get rid of them .sx Actually the latter was my only course since they had already decided either to attack or hoot at all comers .sx Their technique was to rush at you , and they were not small birds , heads lowered and outstretched , and uttering their offensive cries so loudly that they could be ( and in fact they were ) heard a mile off .sx If you stood your ground they came to a stop and sidled off in another direction .sx How could I dispose of them ?sx I had to do it without offence to their owner- who , as I say , was a peaceable , decent chap- but I had also another hurdle to jump .sx Just along the road lived a local animal lover , who had already eyed me suspiciously when I had moved on the several cats who , in various degrees of decrepitude , were mothered by her .sx I began my campaign by the usual shooing process .sx This merely amused the geese .sx They appeared to look elsewhere , indeed , until I realized afresh , as you have to , that all birds look at you from the sides of their heads .sx They might sail a couple of yards away , drawing themselves up to the highest points of their dignity , but they would immediately and in unison , as if from a radio signal , veer around and make back to the place from which their manoeuvre had begun .sx Arm waving produced no results except to incite them to guttural grunts of derision .sx I must admit that I thought of many desperate measures :sx of going out at night with an airgun ; of throwing poisoned bread upon the waters ( which would have been useless since , unlike moorhens , they did not take to bread , and appeared to subsist on a diet of grass) .sx My alarm was increased by my reference to a book on pet keeping which confirmed my worst fears about Chinese geese .sx It actually warned pet keepers against the wisdom of attempting to keep both Chinese geese and friendly neighbours .sx I presented the book to their owner but if he read that passage it did not affect his behaviour .sx In fairness to myself I must add that I had no wish to hurt the geese .sx It had to be psychological warfare , mental cruelty .sx In the end I decided that a process of steady discouragement was the only policy .sx Whenever they appeared on the pond , and I was present , I threw a sprinkle of small grit around them .sx At first they exhibited no emotion apart from comical surprise .sx I persisted in this sprinkling campaign for nearly a whole winter , not without success .sx As spring approached they appeared less and less , and indeed on seeing me they would , without undue haste , turn around and retreat to whence they came .sx For a time an intermittent peace reigned on the pond .sx If other terrors arising from the pond population came and went ( as , for instance , the day my wife saw a large rat walk slowly across our bridge towards the front door , or the sudden surprise of beady shrew-eyes from the pond's grass banks ) , at least we had seemingly rid ourselves , without offending anyone openly , of our Chinese geese .sx Between whiles a charming bevy of about a dozen white ( and more or less silent ) geese occasionally trooped down the village street , fluttered and splashed in the pond for a while and then , in solemn dignified file , returned to their drier quarters .sx They should have been grateful to me , for when the Chinese geese were about they had no difficulty in hounding off these peaceful creatures .sx If this chapter reads like a successful rout , I am sorry to have given you the wrong impression .sx Those Chinese geese finally fooled me and everyone else .sx In May , in our second Pond Cottage summer , these two geese returned , and with them , unaccountably , there shuffled to the water's edge a clutch of six chicks , faintly yet assuredly resembling their parents .sx That was one of the turning points of my life as a pond-dweller .sx 17 .sx PARISH PUMP .sx RUMOUR had had it for some years past that water- a parish supply as it is called- was on its way to Wilborough .sx The supply of water to remote villages and hamlets is one of the beneficent functions performed in this rather deplorable century .sx In villages it marks the end of water as a precious liquid , to be dispensed frugally , weighed out drop by drop .sx Living at Pond Cottage I had been able to appreciate my own ample supplies while viewing the bucket-dipping villagers from my window .sx There were periods when I was amazed at the rareness of their visits to the spring- yet it could not be denied that the villagers were clean people , even shining clean .sx Those who had lived in the heart of the countryside will know that , in the sense of grubbiness , as opposed to good , clean dirt , it is not easy to get dirty .sx When we first lived in the country my wife worried as to who would clean our windows .sx We searched around for a window-cleaner , but she need not have worried .sx When we left that cottage two years later the windows , though never touched , were as clean as when we came in .sx If the country air is good for complexions and windows it must also be marvellously disinfectant .sx The amount of waste of one kind and another that has to be destroyed or concealed in any village has to be thought about to be believed .sx In villages- of the thatched variety- it is not safe to light a bonfire to burn rubbish .sx In most cases it is consigned to the kindly , effacing earth ; in others chickens and birds are the agents of disposal .sx Where the material is indestructible , well , every village has its dumping ground , its ancient pits- and now and again , as we know , there is luckily a pond or stream .sx One day the surveyors arrived .sx They paused long outside Pond Cottage to decide the line of pipes , and they eyed the pond itself with glances made up equally of anxiety and animosity .sx This was their lowest point , and after the spanning of our little valley they could once more rise .sx The village was full of depressing rumours .sx They would drain the pond ; they would run pipes across the arches of the little bridge ; and so on .sx Fortunately the plans of the water engineers lay elsewhere .sx With a mechanical digging monster , eating up earth and rocks with equal ease , they dug a deep trench on the side of the road furthest from the pond's edge .sx To the barely suppressed satisfaction of most of us the excavation immediately filled with water , and thereafter the scene became a morass :sx ditch , ruts , mud , grey-brown hillocks of earth , large stones , untidy clods of grass , with a few pieces of newspaper and some old cement bags thrown in for good measure .sx It remained thus for a whole summer .sx An attempted laying of pipes began .sx A small pump arrived and cleared the trench of water long enough for the pipes to be set in position .sx Then the water once more resumed its engulfing sway .sx So that the ditch could be cleared sufficiently of water for sealing the joints , a more delicate job , the little petrol pump was again conjured to work valiantly- but it proved unequal to its task .sx The trench remained obstinately full ; the water seeped in as fast as it was pumped away .sx For some weeks the matter remained thus , while the supervisors , who occasionally arrived in shining saloon cars , scratched their heads over the problem .sx The impasse was finally broken one rainy Saturday .sx A man-sized pump arrived borne upon the platform of a lorry .sx It was this pump which was to prove the major enemy , and not the water .sx Anyone who has ever had to deal with a Diesel or petrol engine will know the possibilities of trouble here .sx They are bad enough on a hot afternoon with a lawn-mower .sx These men went through all the known processes to the point of exhaustion .sx The engine started , stopped , started , stopped again , always for no apparent reason .sx The four men concerned explored all possibilities and experienced every feeling from hope to despair .sx They cajoled , wheedled , entreated , tinkered .sx Eventually they knocked off for a smoke and a cup of tea .sx This campaign proceeded for an entire morning .sx I was amazed at the workmen's stolid patience .sx Then as we were all giving up in despair , for I shared their experience from my window , the pump started and continued genially as if it too had had enough and wanted to perform its task and get home for the day .sx Once going , the job was tidied up , the trench filled , in less than an hour ; and the landscape settled into the condition of quiet waiting which had been its role through the ages .sx Soon the grass would grow again over the trench and over the piped water of the twentieth century .sx About a month later a number of workmen came through the village and , with the active co-operation of the villagers , made little right-angled connections with the main pipe to each front door taking the water .sx This was a job soon dispatched although fraught with small obstacles in the way of trickles of springs beneath the road surface .sx It remained then for the villagers to take the water indoors .sx On a fine spring morning came the news by post from the rural district council that water would be put into pipes on a particular date , and that supplies could then be delivered .sx On that day a villager in a cottage turned a tap- and the utility of Wilborough Pond was , after a thousand years , ended .sx Thereafter it became a piece of the landscape .sx I had a sign written , taking the first Saxon mention of the village .sx I hung it on our gate :sx THIS POND , FOR A THOUSAND YEARS , PROVIDED WATER TO THE VILLAGERS OF THIS HAMLET A.D. 888-1957 .sx 18 .sx CHAIN OF LIFE .sx STEADY effort for nearly two years , punctuated by bursts of great energy , had been put to the end of making the pond and its cottage a piece of landscape such as you read about or see in a film :sx a veritable picture .sx