Co-Producers with the Library Theatre Company in I'm Not Rappaport at the Arts Theatre , Cambridge , until Saturday .sx Reviewed by STEPHEN SWAIN .sx Life and survival in the Park .sx .. GREAT mysteries of life , number 1,217 :sx Why did Herb Gardner give this warm , witty and wise comedy such an off - putting title ?sx After all , the man's been getting it right for years , ever since his first play , A Thousand Clowns .sx But those few who bothered to stir from the TV on a drab Bank Holiday Monday were rewarded with a consummate display of comedic talent from the two principals , Alan Dobie and Thomas Baptiste .sx Dobie plays Nat , a dapper octogenarian who decides to share a bench in Central Park with equally elderly Midge , a black caretaker - whether Midge likes it or not .sx Nat is economical with the truth of his many life stories - maybe he's a CIA agent in deep cover , maybe he's a social psychologist named Dr Friedrich Engels .sx .. Maybe .sx Midge , a battered ex-boxer with cataracts , has a problem - he's about to be turned out of his home and his job by yuppies .sx But Nat has the solution :sx " Who needs sight when you've got vision ?sx " .sx By adapting yet another persona , as a sharp lawyer , he wipes the floor with Danforth ( Graeme Edler ) , the jogger who's come to deliver Midge's marching orders .sx " Old people are the survivors , " he tells him .sx " They know something - they didn't just stay around to spoil your party .sx " .sx So far , so good .sx More throwaway one-liners than an early Woody Allen film , and the old guys appear to be kicking against the pricks - and winning .sx But then shadows begin to fall across the park , first with nasty little punk Gilley ( Martin McDougall ) , then drug dealer the Cowboy ( David Crean) .sx And both old men find that there is no real defence against the young , the strong and the unprincipled .sx Nat has an additional problem , his put-upon daughter Clara ( Joanna Hole ) , who wants to put him into a " home for the forgettable " .sx She has presented him with grandchildren whose ethics revolve around cable TV , and has herself become an estate agent , " Queen of the condominiums " .sx This is a long way from Nat's own socialist ideals , which have kept him in fighting mood for his whole life .sx This well-turned production , directed by Eric Standidge , earned the loudest applause from the smallest audience I've yet seen at the Arts .sx You needed to have been there .sx Scrawny voice is just too much these days .sx SINGLES .sx CRITTIE AND SWEETIE - Take Me In Your Arms And Love Me :sx Everyone deserves the right to make a living but why did Green Gartside have to choose music ?sx He has a scrawny , little voice that was once judged to have artistic interest but after all these years it's just too much .sx He dabbles unconvincingly with reggae and should really leave Sweetie and his pals to it .sx Dreadful , and pretentious .sx DIED PRETTY - Godbless :sx While it's refreshing to see a non-dance , non-pop band receiving vinyl space , it should really go to a more deserving cause .sx TOP - Number One Dominator :sx Top make great play of the fact that when they were in other hands they were not the main song - writers .sx On this evidence it's hardly surprising news .sx KINGOFTHEHILL - I Do U :sx Another gimmick - a band that doesn't like any space between it's name .sx Hopeitdoesn'tcatchon .sx The title is straight to the point and so are the band .sx Bad rock .sx YA KID YA - Awesome ( You Are My Hero ) :sx Dive back down the nearest sewer , it's another song about those mutant ninja turtles .sx COOKIE CREW - Secrets ( Of Success ) :sx Sad but true , rappers are still saying " yo " on their records .sx Cookie Crew have previously released some dreadful thin records but this one is a tasty sandwich with lots of filling .sx There's some unusual scat singing and it's their most muscular and tuneful release so far .sx Nice one .sx MARILLION - No One Can :sx And we thought Chris de Burgh was bad .sx Steve Hogarth sounds worryingly similar to De Burgh and the plodding , dismal backing could almost be the Argentinian-born Irishman with the French name .sx Housewives only and those people that light up cigarette lighters at rock concerts .sx JELLYFISH - The Scarey Go Round EP :sx Los Angeles's Jellyfish raid the vaults of 1960s music and put it back together with great loving care .sx With and without soul .sx Albums available this week include :sx Paula Abdul - Spellbound ( Virgin America) :sx Three plays in , and it's still hard to see what the title is about .sx Maybe Vaguely Pleased would be better , because only diehards will be left spellbound by Paula's efforts , even if they are earnest .sx She has an ordinary , rather squeaky voice , and unlike other female contemporaries such as Madonna she is reluctant to open up her lungs and really cut loose .sx Most tracks are delicate , flimsy and often anaemic dance cuts .sx In places she accidentally sounds like Cyndi Lauper , and after the general mundanity of the rest , the gravelly bits and more aggressive squeaks are perversely quite enticing .sx The critics , and there are many , will still claim Paula should have stuck with dancing or cheer-leading , and she must release stronger and more consistent records before that argument will subside .sx ( 6/10 ) .sx Diana Ross - The Force Behind the Power ( EMI) :sx According to the press release , this is Diana's 58th album , which must include her work with the Supremes , and the myriad compilations .sx In recent years , her quality control has slipped somewhat , but this outing shows a considerable tightening-up .sx The late 1980s tweeness has been forsaken , and she has side-stepped the temptation to embrace modern dance elements .sx Instead , her voice is rightfully shoved up in the mix and it's still a wonderful and soulful experience , despite the shortage of major league pop classics and a spot of interruptive musical posturing .sx From the bouncy Change Of Heart to ballads like Heavy Weather , this is a fine , accomplished set just the same , and collectively it showcases a singer with a lasting relevance .sx If you've got a note in your pocket , and are unsure which lady to pick , Diana or Paula Abdul , stick with a tried and tested formula and make it Lady Di .sx ( 7/10 ) .sx Pete Wylie and Wah !sx - Infamy ( Siren) :sx He's been away a long time and many thought he had finally talked himself to death .sx Liaisons with the Farm and an appalling new haircut rightly had many worried about the contents of his first LP in years .sx While it's pleasing to note that he has not succumbed to the current dance fad , it's a long way short of his stunning early music like The Story of the Blues .sx The guitars are turned right up and sometimes it appears that he has tried too hard to make a raw rock album .sx Too many tracks are swamped in instrumentation , so that both Wylie's singing and choruses go astray in the melee .sx The lyrics still have the naive charm of old and there are enough anthems to incite the interest of fans but generally this is a 'Hey , I'm still around' LP more than a thrilling new statement .sx Hang on in there with Wylie , he's a great British songwriter currently treading water and nothing more , hopefully .sx ( 6/10 ) .sx Delights of tea , scones and poetry .sx Rupert Brooke , written and performed by Mark Payton , at the Old Vicarage , Grantchester .sx Reviewed by ALAN KERSEY .sx SULTRY , soporific , with woodpigeons bursting from the chestnuts that once assured Brooke he was back home , this was indeed an afternoon for tea , honeyed scones and poetry .sx But this one-man show brings out less familiar aspects - he found Cambridge itself boring and was under no illusions that this was heaven on earth .sx " All the best poetry about England is written when you are out of the wretched place , " he said .sx Nor was he as serious as the perceived image suggests - he even jested about the slightly ridiculous way in which he died .sx An annual event , the performance was combined with a Sunday afternoon rendition of Shakespearean Lovers in aid of a students' charity to help the physically and mentally handicapped and of the Sharon Allen Leukaemia Trust .sx For those having only a nodding acquaintance with his ode to Grantchester the show was an education as well as an entertainment .sx But the mood bleakened inevitably as his fever and the effects of that fatal mosquito bite on his lip steadily worsened .sx Delicate and classy performance marks the end of festival era .sx Melanie and Wayne Marshall Music School , West Road , Cambridge , Sponsored by Sindall .sx Reviewed by James Day .sx FOR his final coup in six years as Cambridge Festival director , Guy Woolfenden chose to go out not with brass blaring and strings sawing away in some great orchestral showpiece .sx Instead , he engaged just about the most laid-back musical duo imaginable .sx Melanie Marshall is no stranger to Cambridge , having appeared as soloist with our major musical societies ; but although her brother Wayne has given organ recitals in the city , I don't remember hearing him .sx Wayne's musicianship was amply demonstrated in his delicate touch , supple rhythm , deft pointing of little details in the lyrics , and the alert timing of the accompaniment to fit his sister's justifiably elastic tempi in the repertoire she chose to perform .sx Add to that some classy improvisations and you had a nice wind-down from the more hectic activities of this year's festival .sx Delighted Together , they delighted the audience at West Road with an evening of sophisticated cabaret , performed with a suitably intimate approach , which ranged from Stephen Sondheim to negro spirituals , with a dash of Bernstein , Gershwin , Jerome Kern and Richard Rogers .sx Not forgetting Andrew Gant , ex-King's choral scholar and up-and-coming singer and composer .sx Andrew's contributions stood up well in this company ; and the Marshall duo gave them the same polished attention as they devoted to everything else .sx Some might have regretted the absence of waiters serving drinks and a haze of two-in-the-morning smoke .sx The Marshalls managed the right atmosphere without all that - I almost put 'jazz' .sx So the Woolfenden era ended on a quiet but definite high .sx Guy and Jane have stamped the festival with both character and quality in their thematic approach and their choice of artistes and programmes .sx I'm sure that the dynamic Nicholas Cleobury will make it even more of a national event .sx Here's to 1992 !sx .sx Folk spectacular goes out in style .sx By GRAHAM McMORRIN .sx THE 27th Abbot Ale Cambridge Folk Festival ended with a bang as an international cavalcade of top names vied for thunderous applause .sx More than 11,000 people crowded onto the Cherry Hinton Hall site , many to witness Janis Ian's first UK appearance in a decade , an honour she reserved for Cambridge .sx The Nashville singer said :sx " I'm trying to look fairly cool , but I keep wiping my hands on my pants and destroying the whole thing .sx " .sx But she far from destroyed the material , as standing ovations greeted a selection from her Between the Lines classic album , along with such new material as the warm and moving Stolen Fire .sx The high spot of the festival was a widely proclaimed set from 'New Waif' New Yorker Suzanne Vega .sx It was standing room only as Vega , one of folk's superstars , stepped up to the microphone and belted into her early hit Marlene on the Wall .sx The traditionally wry irony and casual delivery of her lyrics quickly entranced a crowded audience .sx Such sadly sentimental lyrics soon gave way to the tough-hearted strumming of Cracking , with its almost whimsical refrain of love lost and love just thrown away .sx Harsh tempo and angry chords marked her new material , particularly the haunting Behind Straight Lines .sx The applause and enthusiasm was massive , but I was left with the thought that not much had changed , and for Vega it was all just another song in just another place .sx Yesterday saw the return of Irish folk stars Clannad , after an absence from Cambridge of over 13 years .sx They strode through Donegal love songs , led by Maire Brennan's powerful lead vocal .sx The climax came with the pathos and finely crafted Something To Believe In , which proved an excellent showcase for the backing vocals of Bridlin Brennan and June Boyce .sx