It was a difficult period for Diana too .sx It was the first time she had witnessed such raw and naked grief ; it was also her first experience of the death of someone close .sx And there was the awesome realization that her husband had very nearly been killed too .sx She grew up a lot that day .sx The next hurdle for them all was the funeral , held at the Memorial Chapel at Sandhurst .sx Ten members of the Royal Family were there - more than there had been at any funeral service since the Duke of Windsor's two years before - and a thousand friends , relatives , fellow officers and men from the 9th/12th Royal Lancers .sx Charles read the lesson .sx He then sought refuge in the Highlands .sx Diana meanwhile stayed at home with the children and put a brave face on it .sx Even the day before the funeral she had insisted upon keeping to her work schedule , and no one would have guessed the torment she was suffering .sx It was a Birthright visit to a fitness centre in Holywell , near Clwyd in North Wales , where a whole array of little girls dressed up as characters from nursery rhymes awaited her .sx There were no grand people to meet , just some spiders and Little Miss Muffets , all of whom had been busily practising their curtsies and their 'Ma'ams' for weeks , and Diana did not let them down .sx The Princess only cancels engagements when there is no option .sx Both she and the Prince are painfully aware that every engagement represents a gathering of people for whom this is a big day .sx They have prepared and rehearsed , possibly gone out and bought new clothes , and had their hair done for the occasion ; they may even have redecorated the building in the Prince or Princess's honour , and have looked forward to this as a day they will remember and talk about for the rest of their lives .sx They both feel very strongly that these people should not be disappointed , and that there should be no hitches in the arrangements , no embarrassments .sx One of the rare occasions when Diana did cancel , was in May 1988 when Prince Harry was rushed into Great Ormond Street Hospital for an emergency hernia operation .sx Like his father , he was 'a blue light special' , and Diana had spent the night with him at the hospital .sx The following evening she was supposed to have attended a Mother and Child exhibition in aid of Birthright , but Anne Beckwith-Smith telephoned a couple of hours beforehand to say the Princess was so exhausted that she could not make it .sx While she had been in the hospital , she had not hidden herself away in Harry's room ; she had gone out into other wards , while her son was under the anaesthetic , to talk to other sick children and their parents .sx It had been a draining twenty-four hours .sx Despite Earl Spencer's curious plea for her to spend more time at home being a mother , Diana has always been the central figure in William and Harry's lives .sx She has always tried to work her schedule around them , and has very much been a warm and close mother to them .sx Unless she has to be in the north of England or even further afield , she will take them to school in the mornings , before going back to Kensington Palace to change for the day's engagements .sx On the whole , nothing is scheduled to go on much later than 3.30 in the afternoon , so that she can be back home again in time for their tea and bath before bed .sx Frequently , though , like the Prince , she spends longer with people than has been allowed for , so schedules usually run a little late .sx On her way home she often pops into her local branch of Sainsbury's to buy the boys some Twiglets or some other treat that they particularly like .sx " I know they're not good for them , " she will say , " but they do love them .sx " .sx On Friday afternoons they invariably set off for the country .sx Diana usually drives the boys , and the nanny follows with all the gear .sx Charles seldom manages to get away as early as Diana , and often drives down later .sx At Highgrove the children have far greater freedom than in London , and they love the countryside .sx They can roam about the garden and farm and see all the animals .sx There is a climbing frame on the lawn and a swing , there's the swimming pool , and their tree-house , and plenty of hedges for all sorts of games .sx They have their hamsters there , which live up in the nursery on the top floor of the house , and the Prince's two Jack Russells , Tigger - a present from Lady Salisbury in 1986 - and her daughter Roo , who generally stay at Highgrove unless the family is going to be away for longer than a week .sx They have ponies at Highgrove too .sx Both boys are very keen riders , and go off to local gym - khanas and shows in the summer .sx They have practice jumps in the fields , and a riding instructor comes to give them lessons .sx When they spend holidays at Sandringham or Balmoral , the ponies go too .sx If Charles is at home , the boys often garden with him , or go for a drive or a walk round the farm .sx Charles and Diana both firmly believe in teaching their children good manners .sx It has been a struggle - they are no different from any other young boys - but they are both impeccably behaved nowadays , at least when on parade .sx King Constantine , who is Prince William's godfather , says that Charles treats them like young adults .sx He does not force them to do anything , but explains and reasons with them .sx William , whom he usually refers to as Wombat , is bright , exhausting and extremely wilful , and would stretch even the patience of a saint at times .sx One day , when he was four , he went with his father to the farm .sx It was a freezing cold day and William had no gloves .sx As his hands became colder he began to grumble , and finally he started to cry .sx " I told you to bring some gloves , " said Charles , " and you wouldn't listen , so shut up .sx " .sx He used to run rings around his mother too .sx Stephen O'Brien and Cathy Ashton were sitting in the Prince's study at Kensington Palace waiting for the Prince to arrive for a meeting one evening , when Diana burst through the door , clearly not expecting to find anyone so large inside .sx " I'm sorry , " she said , " I'm looking for William .sx It's bed - time so he's vanished .sx Will you give me a shout if you see him ?sx " Cathy Ashton was left quietly wondering how one might give the Princess of Wales a shout , when giggles from above indicated that it would not be necessary .sx Another visitor to encounter the boys in full cry was Roger Singleton , director of Barnado's .sx He arrived at Kensington Palace for lunch one day , bearing a large plaster frog .sx The frog was a gift from some physically handicapped children at a school in Taunton which Diana had visited the previous week .sx The children were being taught simple trades , including filling moulds with plaster of Paris , and painting the resulting object .sx Diana had been asked if she would like a frog .sx " I'd love one , " she said and , since Roger happened to be seeing her the next week , he had undertaken to deliver it .sx The butler opened the front door and , as Roger was carrying this great green horror along the corridor , William and Harry came bouncing down the stairs and started clamouring to have the frog .sx It was too heavy for either of them to carry , so William went racing off up the stairs , excitedly telling his mother that a frog was coming .sx Harry refused to be parted from it , so he and Roger shared it , and , with one small hand supporting the frog's bottom and the other firmly clasping Roger's hand to help him up the stairs , the trio progressed slowly upwards , to be met at the top by Diana , who had come to see what all the fuss was about .sx She is a good instinctive mother , clearly besotted by her sons , and determined to ensure that they grow up into secure adults .sx How this is achieved is something Diana has become increasingly interested in , not only in her work with Barnado's , but also with Relate .sx Relate , previously called the Marriage Guidance Council , had first written to the Princess in 1987 , asking whether she would consider becoming patron of their Golden Jubilee Appeal in 1988 , when they hoped to raise pounds1 million .sx The charity has been the largest provider of counselling to married couples since it was founded in 1938 ; they counsel over 50,000 clients a year , but felt that it was time to bring it more up to date sic !sx . Society's needs are changing and problems go far beyond the partners in a marriage , so the charity felt they should be reflecting that .sx Thus , to coincide with their Golden Jubilee , they planned to relaunch under the new name , with a wider range of services more appropriate to the needs of the 1990s .sx " Relate helps people who need to talk to someone about marriage and relationships - relationships with partners , with children , with parents , at home or at work .sx " .sx The Princess , came the reply , was too heavily committed to take on another patronage , but she would be very interested to see the work they did ; so , in March 1988 , not long after Hugh Lindsay's funeral , Diana went to Rugby to visit their national headquarters .sx She was there for one and a quarter hours and , as well as hearing about the work they did such as counselling , sex therapy , education and training , she also watched a role-playing session .sx It was a classic situation , which they use in their counsellor-training programmes , where a counsellor had to deal with a couple , played by experienced trainers , who were in the midst of a fierce marital row .sx It was very real and very powerful , and Diana was riveted .sx She immediately asked to see more , so six weeks later she went to visit a neighbourhood centre in London .sx She was clearly very interested in the work they did .sx From the start she was asking acute and sensitive questions about what makes a good marriage , and a recurrent interest has been what effect the quality of a marriage can have on the children .sx According to Relate's figures , there are over 151,000 divorces in Britain a year - that is , two marriages in five break down , and that gives this country the highest divorce rate in Europe .sx Those figures involve 149,000 children under the age of sixteen ; one third of those children are under five , and more than two thirds are between five and ten ; and there is evidence that such children are very seriously affected by the break-up of the family unit .sx Dramatic research published recently has shown that the delinquency rate in children whose parents divorced when the offspring were between the ages of five and twenty-one is twice as high as for those children whose parents remained together .sx There is increasing awareness of the damaging effect of divorce , and much of the work that Relate now does involves children , and giving them the support that their parents are very often unable to give them when their own lives are in turmoil .sx Having experienced her own parents' divorce when she was six years old , this is an area in which Diana is especially interested .sx She opened a pilot centre in Portsmouth in 1989 , set up specifically to deal with whole families , to help them sort out the difficulties of adjusting to one another ; and , where a marriage is coming to an end , to help limit the damage inflicted on the children by a messy divorce .sx On that occasion she listened to the problems of a couple who were living together , who had both been married before , and both had three children from their previous marriages .sx All eight of them were endeavouring to live under one roof and had discovered that it was not as simple as it seemed .sx