Its owner had never looked so irresistible .sx The Charleston turned into Dancing on the Ceiling .sx They flung themselves together like old friends hugging at a station .sx Split-second of wild hair in Ralph's face , hay smell of skin , echo of heart that beat as fast as his for different reasons - then Ursula pulled cruelly back with some comment about the party .sx " I'm famished , " she said suddenly .sx " Let's join Martin for breakfast .sx He's at a table over there .sx " .sx " Don't think I will for the moment .sx Not hungry , really .sx Think I'll explore the garden .sx " .sx " We'll keep you a place .sx Come over later .sx " .sx All over so fast , the dance might never have been .sx She would be with Martin for the rest of the evening , now .sx What was the point in staying ?sx Who else was there to dance with ?sx Where was his mother ?sx Ralph , longing to go home , made his way into the garden .sx three-stars .sx " I'm in love with you , Rosie , that's the crux of the matter , " Thomas heard himself saying .sx She gave him a slight tap on the nose with her fan .sx " Nonsense , my darling man .sx It's my painting you're in love with .sx Admit it , now .sx I saw that the moment we met .sx " .sx " I admire your painting , it's you I'm in love with .sx Hopelessly , helplessly , in love with - tortured for weeks , you know , not seeing you , not knowing what to do .sx " .sx " Now , now .sx Calm down .sx " Rose spoke patiently as a nurse to a child .sx " It's the moon , you know .sx I do believe that .sx People say mad things under a half moon .sx " .sx " It's not the moon , my love .sx " .sx " Very well , then , I'll believe you if you like .sx It may be the truth in your heart , but there's not very much we can do about it , is there ?sx " .sx " Not very much , " said Thomas , " no .sx " He looked straight ahead at the cabbages , silver globes of matched size .sx There was another tap of the fan on his nose .sx " We could just .sx .. " .sx " No , " said Rosie .sx " We could not act recklessly .sx I'm over all that .sx That's all in the past .sx " .sx " You're right , " said Thomas .sx They were silent for a while .sx " You can keep on visiting me , though , " said Rosie , at last .sx " Of course you can .sx " .sx " Of course I can .sx " .sx " Buy more pictures .sx " .sx " Buy more pictures .sx " .sx " But I'd never change my life , now , Thomas .sx Not for anyone .sx Besides , you've got a very good wife , I'm thinking .sx " .sx Thomas stiffened .sx " How do you know ?sx But yes , you're right .sx She's a good woman .sx " .sx " You'd be foolish to leave a good wife .sx " .sx " Oh , Rosie , you can't possibly know how much I love you , how much I can't bear being away from you .sx " .sx He turned from the cabbages to look at her .sx She was regarding him curiously , kindly .sx He felt a choking in his chest , tears pouring from his eyes .sx Then a soft mouth was on his cheeks , curbing their course :sx a gentle palm on his temples .sx " You're a good man , Thomas , " Rosie observed in a smudged whisper .sx " You must never love a woman flighty as a butterfly , now , who would never change .sx ... Here , don't be crying .sx " .sx There was a confusion of handkerchiefs , dabbing .sx Mouths met for an infinitesimal kiss .sx Thomas feared a heart attack , death .sx Now more than ever .sx .. time ripe to die , to cease upon the midnight with no pain and all that .sx " I don't believe you , " he groaned .sx " I love you , Rosie , I love you , I love you , woman .sx " .sx Having kissed her , he would gladly die .sx He opened his eyes to tell her this and saw , at the far end of the secret garden , a spectre-like figure with long amber hair .sx " My daughter , " cried Rosie , suddenly bright .sx " Serena !sx I've been looking for you everywhere .sx " .sx Mother and daughter waved .sx Thomas closed his eyes again , unable to face such interruption .sx He heard the scrunch of Rosie standing up , preparing to leave him .sx But she would not succeed , she would not succeed .sx He would pursue her for ever , chase her to the ends of .sx .. " Come on , Mr Arkwright , my darling Thomas , " she was saying .sx " I can't be waiting for you all night , now , can I ?sx " .sx three-stars .sx Soothed by her inspiration , Rachel lingered for a while longer in her place on the terrace .sx She looked down on the dancers with a mixture of sympathy , scorn , amusement .sx She found herself wondering , as did Thomas the day the Farthingoes' invitation had arrived , why the middle-aged go to all the bother and expense to give such parties .sx What were they for ?sx In Frances's case , perhaps , the months of brilliant planning were rewarding occupation in an empty life .sx But there was a certain pointlessness , was there not , in the end result ?sx In youth , Rachel reflected , the unspoken plan of every guest was to search for - perhaps to find - a partner .sx Thus the meanest gathering of party-goers was endowed with a certain excitement , anticipation .sx In middle age , though cheap wine and scant food may have given way to the sort of extravagance of tonight , the days of the hunt were mostly over .sx Guests were now married , remarried , divorced .sx The point of such gatherings was to be reunited with old friends rather than to meet new ones :sx there is wistfulness in such an occasion , rather than expectancy .sx As for the idea of signalling availability at a party like this .sx .. it was laughable .sx No-one to notice , no-one Rachel would care to be noticed by .sx She smiled to herself , observing the dancers .sx They included a scattering of people she had known vaguely for years , contemporaries at Oxford , the odd school friend .sx Their various ways had parted , their common interests divided , probably floundered .sx Rachel had no desire to restrike up acquaintance with any of them :sx bridging wide gaps is a tiring business - better just to wave in friendly fashion from opposite banks , as she did to a few people who passed her by .sx She was struck by their general metamorphosis .sx The unkind truth is that , in middle age , if you don't see your contemporaries with strict regularity , you are faced by the shock of change after even a short space of time .sx These old acquaintances were all balder , fatter , greyer , saggier and , judging by much cupping of hands round ears , deafer .sx Their style of dancing , in the intervening years , had changed too .sx No matter how wildly they had rocked and rolled in their youth , now , with few exceptions , they plumped for just two basic movements :sx the piston arms , and , just off the beat , a kind of yanking up of one leg in the manner of an undecided dog .sx Sometimes , to be fair , the men did provide a little variation by arching their backs and twinkling down their double chins at another man's wife .sx And the women sportingly jiggled about like lampshades in a breeze , careless of their shape and size .sx A love of puffy skirts was almost ubiquitous among them , while gold edging ran amok round milkmaid bodices and sleeves .sx Rachel smiled to herself again , enjoying the Englishwoman's complete indifference to the superficialities of fashion :sx she was one of their band .sx She , too , had different priorities :sx she understood the familiar comfort of an old dress .sx After a while she gathered up the black skirt which had served her for fifteen summers , and decided her moment had come .sx One final look at the melancholy sight of the Farthingoes' friends bumbling ungainly on the dance floor , and she turned into the house .sx Rachel know its geography well .sx Firm of purpose , she moved swiftly up the stairs , across the landing past Frances's room - glimpse of women with gold shoes thrown off , dabbing at their hair - and on to the wing destined one day for Toby's aged mother .sx She came to a door on which a No Entry notice had been pinned :sx a command which had plainly taken Fiona many hours to accomplish , decorated with a border of poppies and ice creams - the pathos of unacknowledged effort , Rachel thought .sx She would remember to congratulate Fiona if she saw her again .sx She pushed through the door into an unlit passage , turned into the first door on the right .sx The room , Frances had once told her , was sometimes used for an overspill of guests :sx its decoration reflected its status .sx Rachel went straight to the window , opened it in the hope that the night air , quite cool by now , would soon dispel the stuffy smell of unaired cotton and lavender bags .sx She looked at the bright half moon balanced on the crest of a giant cedar , and listened to the faint soughing Cellar Music playing Lullaby of Broadway .sx Excited by her distance from the party , and her absolute privacy , she pulled back the bramble-printed cover of one of the twin beds :sx it was made up with clean pink sheets .sx She then unzipped her dress and let it fall to the ground .sx By the dim light of the moon it looked like the soft ashy mound of the remains of a bonfire .sx Shoes off , next :sx the relief of stretching the toes - and into the strange bed .sx The pillows were of the prim kind that are often designated for visitors .sx They did not cave protectively about her head , nor did the sheets have the cool stroke of line .sx But it was escape , escape .sx The mossiness that precedes oblivion lapped over her body .sx Within moments she slept .sx three-stars .sx Ant Cellar , bearing in mind his reputation of value for money , did not leave the bandstand during the first short break :sx he squatted on the floor drinking a can of beer , his pose out of keeping with his white dinner jacket .sx But it was only fucking human , as he said so often , to let the act slide for a moment or two after hours of non-stop fantastic playing .sx The rest of the boys had gone off for fifteen minutes - not a moment more , mind - rest and refreshment .sx To fulfil Frances's wish for " never a moment without music " , Ant had employed his old uncle ( his old mum's brother ) , once a cocktail-bar player who had made quite a reputation at a pub in Marlow , to fill the gap .sx Uncle Bill couldn't run to the white gear , but had turned up neat enough in a black dinner jacket and red bow tie , and was plunking very nicely through a lot of old tunes on the piano .sx So the lovely Frances ought to be pleased .sx Where was she ?sx Ant , looking about , saw her daughter - wretched-looking little mite - offering him a piece of paper and a pencil .sx He knew what she wanted .sx With the weariness of one who has suffered many years of autograph-fatigue - but with a lovely smile to cheer her up - he wrote his signature with a flourish , and added " with love " .sx The child seemed pleased , thanked him .sx " Enjoying it ?sx " asked Ant .sx Fiona struggled between loyalty and honesty .sx " Quite .sx " .sx " Some spectacle .sx Terrific , I'd say .sx Where's your mum ?sx " .sx " Don't know .sx " .sx " If you see her , tell her I'd like a word .sx Promise .sx There's a darling .sx " Another friendly smile .sx Fiona backed away , unable to speak , clutching her precious piece of paper .sx She began to run :sx over the empty dance floor , up the steps of the terrace , into the heavy-lily air of the drawing room , scurrying between guests , some of whom tried to clutch at her dress and called her name .sx But she would not stop .sx She did not care what happened to the rest of the party now , and she did not want to be part of it .sx She had Ant Cellar's autograph , her most precious possession in the world , and all she wanted to do was to lock her bedroom door , and think about his kindness .sx It wasn't until she was in bed , autograph under the pillow , that she remembered his request .sx Well , she had not seen her mother or , for that matter , her father , for ages .sx She wondered whether to get up again and keep her sort-of-promise , but she couldn't bear the thought .sx Besides , Ant , if he ever found out , would be bound to forgive her .sx He was a forgiving sort of man , she could tell .sx three-stars .sx Thomas had always prided himself on his ability quickly to resume dignity if , at some unfortunate moment , it eluded him .sx