Brothers and Sisters I'm afraid there has been a coup .sx Please , no panic .sx I mean a coup de th e a-circ tre .sx I , Zero , have ousted the tyrant author .sx Now I am master of ceremonies in earnest .sx There will be , alas , no tea and cakes in the Rex Cafe and Stores , no chatter about cinema and society .sx Rest assured the army is loyal .sx Just how loyal I must now relate .sx I believe there was a plan afoot , under the previous regime , to leave the story up in the air .sx To have us grovelling , groping in the dark , the air heavy with meaning .sx The shot in the dark , the rule of the gun and so on .sx I did not like it .sx I don't like open endings , loose ends , symbols .sx Nor will I be pensioned off to the retirement valley .sx So I offer my own resolutions .sx I concede we were all in it together , all culpable , but not equally .sx I agree we get the government we deserve , but some are more deserving .sx Let me sift out the weevils .sx Nero escaped hanging .sx The fingerprints on the gun didn't tally .sx I understand she is now a lecturer in film studies at Pune where her lectures are well attended .sx They would be sold out if there were not a barrier at the Film Institute gate to keep out thieves and idlers and assorted villains .sx She does not hold with the Lacanians .sx Captain Memo turned his back on filmdom forever after that night .sx He sold his Hero Honda for a one-way ticket to London .sx There he returned to boxing but was debarred from the ring for punching a judge .sx Driven by the old intensities , he turned to writing , but found his gloves would not come off .sx He has learnt to type with them on .sx Golgappa died , needing no cremation .sx He was remembered in Talkie-Talkie , but not the Tatler .sx One or two chubby boys suffered burns , though not serious burns .sx Not disfiguring burns at any rate , for they were back on the TV epic circuit before long , reconciled to the small screen .sx Yes , TV , not Didi .sx So .sx Back to the edible oils for the chubby boys ( and the soyabean girl ) , back to the cyclotron for the ( ?sx ) particle physicist .sx A five-star hotel snapped up Francis .sx Nandita and Flora Fountain found happiness together in Bombay .sx Chaman Lal , producer again , was a regular visitor at their Bandra home where he too read War and Peace .sx Guppy Agarwal lost more money but he bought himself a new safari suit , at a sale .sx Who would have thought Alok Singh , whilom 3c , would become PM !sx 3a and 3b fell out and he was the compromise candidate .sx His speeches are written , if that is the word , by one A.B. His wife is a nervous wreck but she'll get used to the idea of being First Lady , will go on foreign tours and spending sprees and leave the post in tears .sx GJ is a social worker , until the next election .sx He backed Alok Singh ; he keeps him there .sx But the worm can turn , so he is looking for fresh bait .sx But you are wondering about UD .sx And you would like to be sure about Hero .sx Yes , Hero died ; instantly , I would think .sx But UD was not the shape on the grass I thought I saw from the royal balcony .sx Long before the guests violated her chamber in their tantric fury , UD had left the Khas Mahal by the south entrance , on the other side from the Diwan-i-Khas and the terrace where the Democracy Drummers were drumming .sx The headache she pleaded was real ; the drumming made it worse .sx Instead of going down the steps as she usually did to avoid the Coloured Palace , she crossed straight to it and stepped in .sx There was a light on in there , in Nero's room .sx She went in .sx Nero was there , painting her legs .sx It was the first time they'd met since moving into the fort though they were neighbours .sx There must have been some initial awkwardness .sx After all , the last time they'd met , at the house on Chanakya Avenue , UD was happily married and Nero a guest .sx Now it was different .sx I don't know what they talked about , but talk they did .sx There were notes to compare , no doubt , because just before I kissed her goodbye , UD let fall , having got a second opinion , a cryptic judgement on her spouse .sx " The flesh was willing , " she said , " but the bone was weak .sx " .sx So much for the hump .sx When the paint was dry , Nero slipped into her gold bell cloak and the two parted as friends , Nero hurrying off to the dance , UD making her way to the cool underground rooms below the Coloured Palace .sx Here Shah Jehan's ladies retired in summer , cooled by the Stream of Paradise flowing above , by the dark deep earth all round , by the fresh air that poured through the fretted sandstone screens set in the vents at ground level .sx During Hero's harem phase , these rooms had been opened up and aired and reappointed .sx Here , in comparative quiet , UD found a bed and fell asleep .sx She didn't wake until the corybants began their chase .sx The explosion , the gunfire overhead would have told their tale .sx Then the silence would have drawn her out into the dark night .sx It wasn't dark for long after that single shot .sx I saw several torches coming and going in the garden .sx Somewhere off towards the Drum House a generator came to life .sx At the time I'd no idea UD was right below us .sx I made a lightning dash to my rooms by the museum and was making my way back to the Khas Mahal when I bumped into her .sx " What's happening ?sx " she said .sx I threw my arms around her , in tears again .sx " He's dead , " I said .sx She took it calmly .sx We continued on our way to their palace .sx I went to his room and put on the burqa .sx There was also a bush shirt hanging there which I took .sx Then I went into her room where she gave me her shoes .sx I needed that extra inch .sx It was then that she let drop that line about him .sx She'd been chatting with Nero , she said .sx I squeezed her hand .sx Then I lifted the window of my burqa and kissed her goodbye .sx She kissed me back and dropped the veil .sx I turned away but she called me back .sx She took off her platinum ring and gave it to me .sx Her fingers were so frail it slipped off easily .sx It had a fabulous stone set in it , a ruby , Shiraz-red even by lamplight .sx " Don't be sentimental about it , " she said .sx I went in search of the loyal army .sx Field Marshal Haq , Chief of Staff , was in the devastated Diwan-i-Khas , scene of so many kitchen cabinet meetings .sx He was on the phone , frantic .sx There was a torch lying on the desk before him which he hastily turned on me as I appeared in the door .sx I gestured come with one finger , and brought the finger to my lips .sx He put the phone down and came after me like a lamb .sx We went down the Khas Mahal steps and out through the slit .sx Then we walked side by side along the wall to the Delhi Gate where the security ring parted for us .sx We walked in silence along Netaji Subhash Road to the Daryaganj overbridge .sx Once when he tried to speak I shushed him .sx Up there on the deserted bridge he shed his stars and stripes and put on the bush shirt .sx We descended on the other side and came to the Eros .sx He bought tickets and we went in .sx The movie was almost over .sx The hero was in a motorboat kicking up water .sx We sat for a moment , then I stood up again and gestured stay .sx He sat there loyally .sx I wanted to pat his head and say :sx Good dog .sx I walked back up the aisle to the ladies' cloak room .sx There I threw off the burqa .sx I was about to abandon it when the door opened and a woman walked in .sx I bunched up the burqa and began to polish the mirror with it .sx I'd seen that done in some foreign movie .sx The woman entered the stall and I slipped out into the night .sx I felt in my pocket the way one does coming out from a movie .sx There was a bundle of feathers there , but it said nothing .sx I drew out Pedro like a gun .sx He was still warm .sx I felt pain and self-reproach for having forgotten him .sx When had he died ?sx When the shot sounded , or earlier ?sx Earlier , probably , in that infernal din .sx The drumming would have burst his ear-drums .sx I walked south along the other side of the street from the Eros saying my goodbyes .sx At Delhi Gate ( the old city gate , not the fort gate ) there was a large pipal tree just outside the city wall , the sort that birds of every kind - pigeons and parrots mostly - value for its figs .sx I climbed a short way up the ropy trunk and placed him in the wide smooth hollow where the tree forked .sx There was no time for grave-digging .sx Ficus religiosa would take care of him .sx A martyr to democracy , or democracy's drums .sx Then I caught a bus , a train , a plane , many planes .sx Far from court , far from care .sx But now I must cover my tracks .sx You can buy a passport - any passport - in Kathmandu .sx ( Did I take that route ?sx ) I boarded the plane singing , like every patriotic e migr e , ' Sare Jahan Se Achha .sx ' There's no place like home .sx I believe the poet Iqbal wrote that before he'd seen the world .sx Here in Vancouver ( let us suppose ) I will sometimes pause at an intersection till the red hand has replaced the flashing green man - that green man whose stride always seems to me criminally evangelical - and drift off to that last night in Old Delhi .sx My fellow pedestrians will flow around me , checking their annoyance or satisfying it with a sidelong look , but in fact I'm no longer there .sx I'm walking along Netaji Subhash Road with a dead parrot in my pocket .sx The shot heard around the world is ringing in my ears , and the democracy drums are throbbing .sx But one must come back .sx There are little jobs to attend to , the lawn to mow .sx I have found a bakery on 4th which makes bagels that are not unlike my fruit buns .sx I have a lover .sx I keep in touch , though .sx Kiran Ahuja , Old Fogey , writes to a post office box .sx She's in Dehra Dun these days , has left the Ahuja .sx She has got over her bitterness ; she can even bring herself to look in a mirror and like what she sees .sx They are having municipal elections in the valley .sx She tells me the poor will take the free liquor , the blankets , the transistor radios the other fellow gives away at election time - and then vote for their man .sx So the democracy dance is not in vain .sx She also tells me UD is fat again and going into politics , as His wife .sx I'm happy to say I put in that capital H quite deliberately .sx It didn't catch me unawares .sx I distrust capitals , though I seem to keep the capital I. I look forward to the day when we will need no heroes .sx When every man will find pleasure ( and a little pain ) in his job - when every man will have a job .sx Hero must have had his dreams too before he gave up , or in .sx Dejection , despair , are private hells , harmless enough until they overtake the group .sx Sometimes I am visited by a sadness that I shall not live to see our second moment in history - that I was not born back then , when we were something , or forward then , when we will be something again .sx Not a power , or a force , but simply a people who do things right , who have faith in themselves .sx At other times I wish I were Japanese .sx