Well , she'd soon put this one right .sx It was amazing what a little extra soul could do to a marriage .sx A single light burned in a tall office block in Victoria .sx In the luxuriously appointed suite leased by Wiseman and Partners ( Chartered Accountants ) , there was a last-minute panic to complete the annual accounts of a prestigious client .sx Mr Wiseman , now the revered senior partner , had asked a fresh-faced articled clerk to stay on and help him .sx " I'd be most appreciative Ronald , " he'd said .sx " You see , it's my daughter's birthday and we're having a slight - er - family do .sx And I'd like to get home as soon as possible .sx " .sx " Of course sir , " had been the obliging response .sx Ronald was ambitious - and anyway he had rather a crush on Clive Wiseman .sx He'd always had a soft spot for older men , had Ronald .sx And so when the angel flew in , exhausted from her earnest do-gooding , her quarry was seated at his desk , deep in the profit and loss figures of Smith & Son Ltd. " What is it ?sx " he asked absent-mindedly .sx " A soul ?sx Free ?sx You mean I'd owe you nothing ?sx Go ahead then , quickly .sx I have to get home .sx " .sx That was easy .sx A cinch .sx The angel was hugely relieved - and in a flush of euphoria she offered a soul to young Ronald as well .sx What the hell .sx And Ronald , eager as always for the main chance , accepted with alacrity .sx And the angel flew off , rather pleased with herself .sx She turned back for a last look at two satisfied customers thinking there's nothing in the world like making a good sale when .sx .. oh dear .sx This was not what she'd planned .sx Not at all .sx She didn't even know such things were possible .sx What was she to do ?sx For the four souls and two bodies of the respected accountant and his fresh-faced clerk were no longer focused on money matters .sx They'd locked together amongst the ledgers , clung passionately to one another between a multitude of sheets and bills and , balanced precariously atop piles of books , they swore eternal devotion .sx Shocked beyond measure , the angel watched as Clive repaired to the Gents to - collect himself for the evening ahead .sx He looked at his watch anxiously .sx Gosh , he was terribly late and his mother was coming .sx Well , she'd have to wait a few minutes longer .sx When a man had to go .sx .. Ten minutes later , she watched him emerge with an exalted smile .sx " Ronald my dear fellow , " he was saying , " this is a momentous occasion .sx I've just achieved a lifelong ambition .sx At last , at long long last , I managed to produce a natural and perfectly formed motion .sx Ronald , tonight I am a happy man .sx " .sx " I don't get it - and I don't like it .sx Not one bit , " whispered the angel as she prepared for take-off and wondered how it would feel to fall and fall and fall .sx Vanessa's birthday dinner was a disaster from start to finish .sx Bee burnt the lokshen pudding .sx Then Mia phoned to say Mum wasn't well and they were waiting for the doctor .sx Then Clive called to announce he'd be late .sx Then the birthday girl barricaded herself in her bedroom and refused to come out and I had to contend with Bernice's mounting irritation ( the child is completely without gratitude , she kept saying ) and Eli's sinking blood sugar ( he'd developed diabetes) .sx Then Mia called again to say that Mum seemed worse and there was still no sign of the doctor .sx Then Clive :sx " I'm ready to leave the office now Gabby darling .sx The work took much longer than I expected .sx " .sx Me :sx " Fine , fine .sx Come as soon as you can .sx " Why had he suddenly called me darling ?sx Mia again :sx " The doctor's finally here .sx Mum seems to be unconscious .sx Oh , Gabby .sx It's awful .sx " .sx Me :sx " I don't know what to say .sx .. ring me again when the doctor says what's wrong .sx " .sx Bernice :sx " What's happening ?sx What's going on ?sx Where's Clive ?sx He's never been this late before .sx Do you think we ought to notify the police ?sx " .sx Me :sx " No , no , Bee .sx He's on his way .sx He told me so .sx " .sx At last , at last , the sound of the key in the door .sx Never have I been so happy to see him .sx He seemed happy too .sx Unusually happy .sx But the moment of contentment came and went .sx Clive went upstairs to deal ( unsuccessfully ) with his rebellious daughter .sx Mia phoned for the fourth time to say that Mum had been medicated and the doctor would return in the morning .sx " He thinks she's had a stroke , " she sobbed .sx " Don't cry Mims , " I said , feeling helpless .sx " People do recover from strokes you know .sx " .sx And I put down the phone and burst into tears .sx And Clive ate supper with his parents .sx And Vanessa went to sleep .sx A few days later another framed quotation appeared beside the hallowed words of Hippocrates on the lavatory wall .sx This time it was taken from the Song of Solomon :sx " My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door , and my bowels were moved for him .sx " .sx I didn't quite understand it and was about to ask Clive what it meant .sx But then Mum became worse and was taken to hospital and Vanessa took it into her head to leave home and - well , Solomon's song on our lavatory wall seemed somewhat irrelevant .sx Especially after I'd answered the phone to Mia's hysterical voice late one night about a week later .sx Clive was working overtime again .sx " Gabby , " she was saying , " I've just had a call from the hospital .sx Mum's dying .sx We'd better get there fast .sx " .sx 16 " Miss Marks ?sx Is that Miss Mia Marks ?sx " A voice that never slept .sx It waited , cool and businesslike and ever alert , to bring bad news into the dark of night .sx I'd heard the telephone and dreamt it was a dream but it rang and rang relentlessly and I knew and woke and , heart pounding , lifted the receiver to let out the voice .sx There was no stopping the messenger of death .sx " Yes , it's me .sx " .sx " This is the sister speaking .sx Your mother seems to have taken a turn for the worse .sx We - don't think she has long to - live .sx Perhaps you'd better come here - as soon as you can .sx " .sx " Oh - yes - I will .sx Thank you .sx " .sx I'd thanked her .sx She'd tinkled a death bell in my ear and I'd said thank you .sx Ever , ever grateful Mia - to the man who'd deserted her because he'd shown her paradise , to the world that was taking her son because it was giving him belief , to the mother who'd done nothing - for being there .sx But not for long , the brisk voice in the night had said .sx Not for long .sx Thank you .sx Thank you so much for telling me , sister .sx " You don't have to thank me , " she might have said .sx " Isn't this what a sister is for - to tell you the things that you'd rather not hear ?sx " .sx Was that it ?sx If so my sister Gabriella had been slipping of late .sx She'd almost stopped telling me anything , and I suppose I'd done the same .sx But now I'd have to fulfil my duty .sx Would she rather not hear ?sx Would she care ?sx Would the self-consciously sociable and stylishly unconscious Mrs Wiseman mind that her mother was drawing her final breaths ?sx I hardly knew any more .sx " Gabby , it's Mum .sx She's dying .sx We'd better get there fast .sx " .sx " I'm coming Mims .sx I'll meet you at the hospital .sx " .sx She minded .sx She wiped away a tear as we stood on either side of the bed looking down on the wraithlike figure of the woman who'd borne us .sx With the sister , we'd walked quietly through grey shapes and deep groans in the darkened ward to a far corner where her bed was curtained like a shroud .sx White light blanched the last touch of colour from a face that had always looked faded .sx Her pale eyes were open but seemed to see nothing .sx " We've done all we can .sx Her breathing's very weak .sx The doctor said there's nothing more .sx .. " .sx I touched the sister's arm .sx " It's OK , " I whispered ( why was I comforting her ?sx ) " Can you leave us with her - for a while ?sx " .sx She slipped out soundlessly and Gabby moved round the bed and we watched over her side by side , hand in hand .sx Breathing together and waiting for each breath of hers .sx " Mum , " I said , " Mum , it's us .sx Mia and Gabby .sx " I put a tentative hand on her cheek , stroked it gently , afraid that her flesh would crumble at my touch .sx It looked as though it had been carved out of fine white powder .sx " Mum , " said Gabby in a little voice .sx A small lost child .sx " Mum , don't die , I don't want you to die .sx " She pulled me towards her , burying her head in my shoulder and crying , and I suddenly saw that my mother's eyes were shut .sx " Gabs .sx " We held our breath .sx But hers continued .sx In .sx .. out .sx .. in .sx .. out .sx She seemed to be sleeping .sx Perhaps she'd get better .sx Maybe she'd live .sx " I'll call sister .sx " .sx " No , wait .sx " Gabby held me back .sx " Look .sx " Mum's eyes were opening .sx She was frowning , trying to lift her head , gazing intently at me as though she were about to say something .sx We waited , afraid to breathe , to move .sx But the words wouldn't come and her frown went away and a shadow seemed to cross her face as she surrendered to her final helplessness .sx " What - d'you think she was trying to say ?sx " asked Gabby , holding on to me , trembling at this soundless snuffing of a life .sx Already Mum had joined the past tense .sx " I don't know , " I said , looking at my mother now resting in her last-ever bed .sx " Perhaps she was wanting a piece of toast .sx " .sx There was a small shocked silence .sx Then my sister flung her arms round me and we laughed and cried and our tears splashed over our poor dead mother who would never ask me for the thinnest slice of anything again .sx " It was the end , " I said , sitting at the edge of his bed as dawn broke on my first motherless day .sx I hadn't slept .sx All the things I'd never said to her ran through my head .sx The truths I'd never told her , those I'd never demanded from her .sx Why ?sx Why ?sx " Joseph , " I told my son , averting my head to hide the ravages of my grief , protecting him as ever and suddenly sad about the truths I'd hidden from him , " your grandma is dead .sx " .sx He took my hand and held it and his seemed solid and strong .sx Not a boy's hand any more .sx " I'm sorry Mum .sx I'm so terribly sorry .sx " .sx Rays of morning light slid in between the curtains and under the door and melted together and the room that had once been Gabriella's was no longer dark .sx But Joseph and I didn't move .sx I wanted to stay there for ever , sitting at the edge of his bed with my hand in his .sx " Do you remember ?sx " I wanted to ask , " do you remember the day we came here to live with Grandma ?sx Do you remember - before ?sx Do you remember Utopia ?sx " .sx But of course he didn't .sx How could he ?sx He'd arrived in my arms , four months old , with his world in the soft warm neck and breasts of his mother .sx I'd been his Utopia and he'd been my memory , his navy-blue eyes my memento .sx That night , that first night of the rest of my life when I'd brought my Joseph to Hendon , I'd sat alongside his small crib and mourned the drabness of the life I was offering him .sx Streets that were ever treeless , an arid house devoid of cheer .sx Such emptiness .sx " I'll make it up to you my darling Joseph , " I promised my son .sx " I'll make you a multicoloured dreamcoat even finer than the one worn by your namesake in the Bible .sx I'll cut it out of the rainbow , weave into it the richest legends I can find , the most fantastic fairy-tales , knights in search of truth and honour , glorious stories of love and conquest .sx It will be my gift to you , my favourite , one and only son .sx " .sx And there , in the very room that had once been Gabriella's , I'd drawn close to Joseph night after night after month after year and wrapped him in dreams of every imaginable hue .sx