" We both knew what we were doing , " he said soothingly .sx " And if one of us doesn't want to go on doing it , then they're perfectly entitled to say so .sx " .sx " Thanks .sx " .sx " And perhaps you're right .sx Perhaps we do live a bit too close for comfort .sx " .sx He ran some cold water into the washbasin , turned back the cuffs of his shirt , then immersed his hands in the water .sx Bending forward , he cupped his hands and dashed some over his face .sx Then , careful not to stain his trousers , he fished a folded , white linen handkerchief from his pocket , held it by a corner so it fell open and used it to dry himself .sx When he looked at her again , she was holding out a piece of paper .sx " I've had some letters .sx " .sx " What ?sx " .sx " Some letters .sx Anonymous ones .sx This one arrived - " .sx " He took it from her , suddenly full of misgivings .sx There was something amiss after all .sx " It arrived a few days ago .sx But there were four others before that one .sx " .sx What she termed a letter was merely a sheet of unlined writing paper with six lines of typing across the top .sx ALL WICKEDNESS IS BUT LITTLE TO THE WICKEDNESS OF A WOMAN :sx PUT THE ONE THOUSAND POUNDS INSIDE AN ENVELOPE AND POST IT TO :sx BOX NO .sx 391 , RETFORD ACCOMODATION AGENCY ; 48 GABRIELE ROAD ; HAMMERSMITH , LONDON :sx THIS MUST ARRIVE WITHIN TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY .sx AND KNOW THAT TO CONTINUE IN YOUR ADULTERY WILL ENSURE FURTHER PAYMENTS BOTH IN THIS WORLD AND THE WORLD TO COME .sx He looked at her , trying to find the question he wanted to ask first .sx " There were four others before that , " she repeated .sx " I wasn't going to tell you but- " .sx " Four ?sx " .sx " Yes .sx Oh , not all like that .sx Not all telling me to send money .sx That's the second one that's done that .sx " .sx It was as though the world had begun to spin a little faster , throwing him off balance .sx The paper he was holding smelled of scandal , public denunciation .sx .. the approach of an as yet undefined disaster .sx " Why didn't you tell me ?sx " .sx " Because the others didn't .sx .. I mean , they weren't like that one .sx " .sx " So what were they like ?sx What did they say ?sx " .sx " Well , they said the same sort of thing , yes , " she conceded .sx But not asking for money .sx " .sx " But they were about us ?sx About our relationship ?sx " .sx " Yes , " she admitted .sx " Like this one ?sx Saying it must stop ?sx That kind of thing ?sx " .sx " Yes .sx " .sx " Jesus , " he said quietly .sx " You've been getting letters about us ?sx " .sx " Yes , but not all like this one- " .sx His fears flared into anger .sx " But why the hell didn't you tell me ?sx Why ?sx " .sx She muttered something .sx " What ?sx " he demanded .sx " I didn't want to worry you .sx " .sx " Worry me ?sx Christ !sx Worry me ?sx " He wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her .sx " You're being blackmailed and you didn't want to worry me ?sx " .sx " I'm sorry , Philip , but- " .sx " How many- " But of course , she had already told him that .sx " I mean , how long is it since you got the first of these ?sx " .sx " A few weeks .sx Three or four weeks .sx " .sx " Jesus , " he said again .sx He looked down at the paper , which was still in his hand , and re-read it , more carefully this time .sx " I don't know who's sending them , " she said , near to tears .sx " But I just hoped they'd stop .sx Every time I got one I hoped it would be the last .sx But then when I got this one I thought .sx .. well , I thought I should tell you .sx " .sx " It must be somebody who knows you .sx " She said nothing , so he went on , insistently .sx " It must be .sx I mean it's aimed at you .sx All this about wickedness of a woman .sx Religious garbage .sx Did you tell anybody ?sx " .sx " No .sx " .sx " I don't mean about the letters .sx About us ?sx Did you tell anybody about us ?sx " .sx " No .sx I swear I didn't , no .sx " .sx " You're sure ?sx " .sx " Yes !sx Philip , please , it's not my fault .sx I didn't write the bloody things .sx " .sx She was distressed , fumbling with her box of matches and lighting another cigarette , while tears coursed down her cheeks .sx " All right , " he said .sx " Calm down .sx Just calm down .sx " .sx He made himself go to her and stroke her wet cheek with the back of his hand , though in truth he felt more like slapping her .sx It might not be wholly fair but he couldn't rid himself of the feeling that , in remaining silent about the letters , she had connived at them , making herself an ally of the blackmailer .sx ( The wild thought even crossed his mind that the entire thing might be a put-up job , but he couldn't believe that , not really .sx ) .sx " And this is the real reason you want us to stop meeting , is it ?sx " .sx " No .sx It isn't , no .sx " .sx Well , she couldn't expect him to believe that .sx Still , who cared now what her reasons were ?sx The abrupt end to their affair was suddenly incidental .sx He would have ended it himself .sx pronto , had he had the slightest inkling of a blackmailer on the sidelines .sx He handed her the letter back .sx " What should we do , Philip ?sx " .sx " I don't know , " he muttered , resenting the 'we' that sought to drag him into the morass .sx " Should we go to the police ?sx " .sx The look he gave her answered that .sx " Well , no , " she stammered .sx " So what do you think ?sx " Do you think we should pay it then ?sx " .sx He caught sight of himself in the mirror that hung lopsidedly above the washbasin :sx hot and sweaty in his shirt sleeves , trapped in a dirty room with a woman who wasn't sexy any more but a threat to him .sx He had to get out , and there wasn't really any nice way of doing that .sx " I don't think you should pay it , no .sx " .sx " No ?sx " she said , seizing on that .sx " So what should I do ?sx If I don't pay it , then he might write to Gerald .sx " .sx It was the first time her husband's name had been mentioned between them .sx " Well , pay it then if you think you have to .sx " .sx " But I can't .sx I haven't got a thousand pounds , not that I can pay without Gerald knowing .sx " .sx Meaning he should pay it ?sx Was that what she was angling after ?sx If so , she would disappointed .sx He wanted nothing to do with this .sx He now agreed wholeheartedly with her that they must no longer meet .sx For him to become involved in this blackmailing business would only serve to continue the relationship between them , even if in a non-sexual fashion .sx He also remembered the last time he had paid - and through the nose - to disentangle himself from a relationship .sx Never again , he had resolved ; and now he must stand by that resolution .sx " Well , then I don't know what you should do , " he said .sx " But can't you at least tell me what you think ?sx " she appealed .sx " Angela , look this is your problem .sx You have to solve it .sx But , however you do that , don't involve me , OK ?sx " .sx She stared at him , stunned .sx " If you'd involved me from the beginning it might have been different .sx " Though he was grateful she hadn't , since it was that which now gave him his excuse for bowing out .sx " But you didn't .sx Well , I can't do anything now .sx I'm sorry but I can't .sx You've just got to sort the whole thing out yourself .sx " And he reached for his jacket .sx " You can't .sx .. you can't just walk out , " she said , finding her voice .sx " Oh yes , I can .sx In fact , I have to .sx Surely you can see that ?sx And , anyway , you were the one who said we had to stop seeing one another- " .sx " Because I was frightened of Gerald finding out !sx " .sx " Yes , well - " .sx " Well , now he's going to , isn't he ?sx If I have to pay this fucking money !sx " .sx She was shouting into his face , so that he wanted to push her away from him .sx He wouldn't have believed her capable of such fury , though perhaps it was the flip side of her passionate performance on the bed .sx Still , he wasn't giving in to it .sx " Whether you pay it or not , that's your business .sx Just leave me out of it .sx " .sx " Bastard !sx " .sx " And I'm sorry but - " .sx To his amazement and brief alarm , she flung herself at him , catching him just as he was reaching behind to pull on his jacket .sx He took her puny blows on his chest and shoulders before he was able to grab her wrists and fling her down on to the bed .sx It brought him down too , on top of her , so that they might almost have been making love instead of fighting .sx " Stop that !sx " he gasped .sx " Fucking bastard !sx " .sx " I said stop it !sx " .sx He had never before fought with a woman and felt humiliated and outraged , his heart pounding .sx He lifted himself onto his knees , while keeping her hands pinioned .sx " Will you stop being so damn stupid !sx " .sx " You're a rat !sx " .sx " I'm trying to be sensible .sx " .sx " A fucking rat !sx " .sx He couldn't remain on top of her in that absurd fashion and so , risking another hail of blows , put his feet to the floor , let go of her wrists and stepped away from her , as far as the small room would allow .sx " You don't know what you're saying , " he urged .sx " You've gone and got yourself all upset .sx Now if you just calm down , you'll realise the sense of what I'm saying .sx " .sx " For you , " she said .sx " It might make sense for you .sx " .sx She had remained on the bed , though bringing her arms down .sx He picked up his jacket and dusted it off .sx " For both of us , " he said .sx " You'll see that .sx " .sx " I thought you'd help me .sx I honestly thought you'd help me .sx " .sx He would have to go .sx Just walk out and leave her .sx There could be no point in prolonging the hysterical debate .sx He put on his jacket and felt in the pocket for his car keys .sx " Right , " he said briskly , " I'm going now .sx I'm sorry we've had this unfortunate scene but - " .sx " You've got to help me pay him , Philip .sx You've got to .sx " - .sx " I don't think so , no .sx And I'm sorry but I'm not going to argue the point any longer , " he said , turning towards the door .sx " Goodbye .sx " .sx Something struck the side of his head .sx He gave an involuntary cry of pain and put up a defensive hand .sx He saw it was the ashtray that she had flung at him as she now came back to sudden life and pulled herself off the bed .sx Then she was coming at him again , throwing another desperate flurry of punches .sx This time he didn't attempt to grab her hands but struck out with the back of his own , fetching her a sharp blow across the side of her face , which made her cry out and halted her advance .sx Then he grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her back against the partly opened window .sx " Yes , go on , hit me , " she taunted , the tears running down her face .sx " Hit me , you fucking coward .sx " .sx He was overcome by the compulsion to take her at her word and to hurt her .sx To show his power over her and make her obey .sx He shook her hard and was rewarded as the look on her face changed to one of panic and fear .sx Then he swung her round so she was away from the window , let go of her and , before she could fall , gave her a final , open-handed blow that sent her spinning across the room .sx As she went down , her head slammed into the washbasin , setting up an echoing vibration .sx When it died away , Angela was lying immobile on the thin strip of carpet beside the bed .sx Philip stared down at her , regaining his breath .sx A refrain - " She deserved it , she brought it on herself " - began to run through his head , as though he were preparing his defence without yet knowing the magnitude of the charge .sx " Angela , " he said , once he had regained his breath , " stop it , please .sx " She lay in a collapsed heap , one leg beneath her , arms flung out .sx Her mouth was slightly open , the eyes wide and staring .sx " Oh , Christ , " he said , and dropped to his knees beside her .sx She didn't seem to be breathing .sx He felt her wrists and could find no sign of a pulse .sx