Sally , neither good nor wanting to be saved , wondered if she could get off the boring task of spiking food and suggested that it would be easier to lay it flat on plates .sx " Now that I've cut my finger .sx " .sx Mrs Mackay told her to stir the dip instead , a creamy-looking sauce with a fish flavour , while she did the spiking .sx " But put a plaster on your finger first .sx There are some in the cupboard .sx " .sx The Mount's kitchen was a large utilitarian room with white-painted walls and functional worktops that held an assortment of utensils , mostly in stainless steel , the exception being a set of pretty saucepans given by a grateful patient , together with a note :sx " For stimulating my tastebuds so wonderfully , may these flowery pans remind you of me and my gratitude .sx " A patient who hadn't been cured , Mrs Mackay had thought dourly , but she had received them politely and put them on a top shelf where they glowed pinkly prettily next to the first-aid cupboard .sx " If I had my own home , " Sally said , selecting a Band Aid , " I'd like saucepans like those .sx " .sx " What goes into them matters , " Mrs Mackay jabbed a piece of cheese , " not how they look .sx " She was reminded of one of Hixon's homilies about empty vessels - or human receptacles , as he'd called them - being filled with a broth of evil and stirred with the hands of sin .sx Not one of his happier sermons .sx At his best he'd had the power to soar into the realms of ecstasy and drag his congregation with him .sx The Welsh called it hywel , she believed , the Scots hadn't a word for it , or if they had she didn't know it .sx Whatever it was , it did one good .sx She wondered if his talent for words would flourish in the gaol's chapel , or would he be in solitary confinement and gagged for ever ?sx " Do you think they'll eat all these biscuits ?sx " Sally asked , " or may I have one ?sx " The biscuits were shaped into hearts , diamonds , spades and clubs .sx She had cut them out earlier from the savoury pastry that Mrs Mackay had made .sx To ask if she might have one was politic under the circumstances .sx She had already nicked half a dozen before Mrs Mackay had noticed the shoes .sx Mrs Mackay told her she could .sx " Just one .sx " .sx Sally chose a heart and ate it .sx She had tried to persuade Simon to come to the whist drive .sx It was the monthly one that was open to villagers .sx The Maybridges would probably come , she had told him .sx It might have been the wrong thing to say .sx Mrs Maybridge had put her foot in it , apparently , she wasn't sure how .sx Something to do with the woman Creggan had nicknamed the se n-tilde orita - or se n-tilde ora - who had gone away .sx Creggan had been to one of the bridge parties , patients and guests only , and had pinched her bottom when she had leaned over with the tray of fancies during the interval .sx He hadn't been to any of the others .sx It was boring without him .sx She wasn't even allowed to carry his tea down to his tent , these days .sx One of the other domestics did it - Mavie Dunoon - but she had managed to slip into his tent now and then when no one was around .sx " Maivs , " he had said bitterly , " a song thrush , how inaptly named - a corn-crake of a woman - a mastodon of a female - an extinct mammalian creature with nipple-shaped prominences on her molar teeth .sx " A bit of an exaggeration .sx There wasn't much wrong with Mavis , apart from being overweight and over thirty .sx Her teeth did stick out a bit .sx Not a lot .sx Creggan had asked her if she was still seeing the Bradshaw boy .sx His name is Simon , she had said .sx Yes , he knew that , he said .sx Was she still seeing him ?sx Sometimes , she said .sx " Has he fucked you yet ?sx " That was a rude question - a rude way of putting a rude question .sx Old guys shouldn't use words like that .sx She had glared at him .sx " I take it , " he said gently , " that he has not , and I apologise , my dear child , if I have hurt your susceptibilities by phrasing it in such a gross manner .sx " .sx " Hm , " she had snorted , not appeased .sx He had been at his weak beer again , she guessed .sx It filled his mouth up with dictionary words - and rude ones - and he spat them out .sx " Dear Sally , " he had reached out and held her hand , " I'm so sorry .sx " A nice simple apology that time and she had accepted it .sx " Never get hurt , " he had added , " never let anyone destroy you , dear child .sx There are other places away from here - other places of employment - other boys .sx Go away , little Sally Loreto , while all is well .sx " .sx Maybe he was a little mad .sx She had smiled at him doubtfully .sx He hadn't smiled back .sx The seduction of Simon was taking a lot longer than she had expected , and it annoyed her that Creggan might have guessed it .sx She had lost her virginity at fifteen , a race in those days to see which of her girlfriends could lose it first .sx She had never had difficulty enticing a boy , just pretended he was enticing her .sx She had hoped to sleep with Simon on the day she had disposed of the clothes , and had driven the empty van back optimistically and with a handy story ready about Oxfam being awfully pleased .sx He hadn't been in a good mood .sx Where were the keys ?sx he wanted to know .sx Had she emptied the pockets - his father's pockets - and taken out the keys ?sx Rather cross , too , by now ( he should have been grateful she'd done the job at all ) , she'd told him that all she could find in the pockets were handkerchiefs - did his father have a perpetual cold ?sx - and as no one would want those , she had thrown them away .sx There was no loose change in the pockets , she had added coldly in case he thought she was stealing .sx He wasn't interested in loose change , he'd said , just keys .sx Not the house keys , he had those , keys to a place in London his father's solicitor had told him about .sx They must be somewhere .sx " Then look , " she had said , " but don't look at me .sx I haven't got them .sx All I have is a head that's about to split after spending hours doing a charitable job you wouldn't do yourself .sx " The atmosphere hadn't been warm and cosy .sx He hadn't even mentioned the tracksuit .sx On their next date , a few days later , he told her he'd found the keys in his father's travelling case , which seemed an odd place to keep them .sx And he'd thanked her very much for the tracksuit and was sorry if he'd been pretty rotten to her on the day she'd disposed of the gear , but he got like that sometimes .sx And where did she want to jog ?sx It was clear to her that he didn't particularly want to jog anywhere and it took some cajoling to get him to rise at seven and meet her at The Mount on her daily run .sx They had run together on five mornings , and if he saw that as a penance it wasn't a very long one .sx He wouldn't mind jogging somewhere else , he said , but he didn't like people watching and he didn't like having to get up so early .sx What about an evening jog some time - across the fields , perhaps ?sx It was a reasonable suggestion - with possibilities .sx She had smiled her happy Sally smile again and said , " Why not ?sx " .sx Macklestone wasn't brilliant jogging countryside .sx The main road was lethal and the minor roads had a devious habit of ending up in cul-de-sacs and farmyards .sx The right of way through part of the Millingtons' farm was one of the few possible options when the weather was dry .sx To reach it meant passing Mrs Mackay's cottage , which was tucked away like a sullen little toad at the end of a lane .sx Sally on the whole preferred being spied on by The Mount's patients , who were either madly enthusiastic or insanely jealous ( well , she guessed they were ) , than by Mrs Mackay , who exuded displeasure like a squeezed carbuncle , but as they passed her cottage in less than half a minute of a quick run , and as Mrs Mackay spent most of her off-duty time sewing samplers and making curtains in the room at the back , Sally wasn't too bothered .sx Mrs Mackay's samplers and curtains were topics of conversation , dry islands of dull talk , when she wasn't busy stirring something or other .sx The curtain material she had bought cheap at a Bristol market , blue and cream striped cotton .sx The sampler she was working on showed clasped hands and the words 'To have and to hold .sx ' All this information had been elicited by Sally , who wasn't particularly interested but didn't like silence very much .sx 'To have and to hold' was part of the marriage service , she had informed Mrs Mackay .sx There were other meanings , Mrs Mackay had replied .sx There was virtue in constancy .sx In having principles and keeping them .sx To have courage in the face of adversity .sx To have faith in one's friends .sx What friends ?sx Sally had wondered .sx The Millingtons ?sx Mrs Mackay and Mrs Millington met sometimes , she'd heard , and went somewhere to sing .sx The thought of Mrs Mackay singing made Sally collapse into giggles .sx It was impossible to imagine .sx Her mouth was trap shut most of the time .sx She hoped it would stay trap shut about Simon's mother's shoes .sx She wished she would stop looking at them .sx Sally , escaping from her gaze , picked up the tray and carried it through to the games room .sx A bell rang .sx Half time , or had someone revoked ?sx Revoked - another word she'd learnt .sx If a psychiatric patient revoked , and thought the accusation unfair , would he fling his cards in his opponent's face , overturn the table , scream ?sx People did scream in The Mount - just now and then - and were taken along to the quiet wing where they could scream in peace and quiet .sx Or Doctor Donaldson would get them to lie on his couch and say something in a soothing voice until they fell asleep - hypnotism without dangling an object in front of their eyes , some sort of trick .sx He usually had one of the women psychotherapists with him when he did that .sx A canny old cove - Donaldson .sx Very careful .sx Any accusation of screwing and he'd screw the female patient for damages pretty damn fast .sx The games room wasn't as full as usual .sx Only six tables .sx It had been a very hot day and the evening light was still strong .sx Card games were better played in the winter .sx Max Cormack , who thought the same but had come out of curiosity , noticed the fair-haired girl standing in the doorway holding a tray .sx He had seen her jogging past Millington's farm with Bradshaw's son .sx A happy sort of friendship .sx She was older than him , he guessed , but not too much older .sx He had hoped to meet Simon by now , in the pub or somewhere , but the lad seemed to lead a hermitical existence apart from going out with the girl , whatever her name was .sx Maybridge had told him that the lad was doing all the wrong things , if one viewed life rigidly from a practical angle , but who was to judge ?sx What was wrong for some was right for others , Maybridge had stressed .sx If a person got knocked down by a car , forcing him to get back on his feet before he was ready wouldn't do him much good .sx Healing took time .sx Simon , emotionally stunned , was still groping around .sx Had he rushed back to school and then on to university in the autumn , his friends might have felt easier about him , applauded his courage , but he had to work things out in his own way .sx Maybridge's wife , apparently , would have been one of the applauders .sx She hadn't handled him very well , she'd explained to Cormack , and felt guilty that she wasn't helping him more , but knew she wouldn't be welcome .sx