WHAT WILL TOMORROW BRING ?sx War-time France was no place for a young couple to make plans for the future - not when the rest of the world was living for the moment !sx .sx IT was just another Monday .sx A dull , winter's day when black clouds scudded across a grey sky .sx I was sipping coffee and browsing through the morning paper when the doorbell rang .sx Humming to myself , I went into the hall and opened the door .sx A tall man stood on the step .sx He had thick , grey hair , a tanned face and incredible blue eyes beneath well-etched brows .sx  .sx My face froze and the floor beneath my feet suddenly seemed frighteningly uneven .sx Grasping the door frame for support , my eyes searched the face that had danced beneath the surface of my consciousness for years ; the face I had never , ever thought I would see again .sx " Hello , Genevieve , " he said , and the voice was exactly as I remembered it ; silken , rich as dark chocolate .sx Genevieve , he called me resurrecting a past that had lived on in my heart , bringing alive again the girl I used to be .sx No-one had called me that for years and years .sx I had been Jenny for so very long !sx .sx And yet .sx .. well , I had never forgotten Genevieve , my other self , that other life and that magical time long ago , any more than I had ceased to wonder what might have been .sx " Raul ?sx " I whispered in disbelief .sx " Raul ?sx " .sx He nodded , his hands reaching for mine , grasping them tightly to his chest , bridging the years and erasing the pain of separation .sx And then came the tears .sx four-stars .sx JUANS les PINS , 1944 .sx .sx It began and ended in November - a few short days of quiet contentment and blissful happiness .sx It was a time of stolen hours , of Raul's arms holding me tightly , and of his blue , blue eyes looking lovingly into mine .sx It was hard to believe there was a war on .sx The house that had been lent to us was small and shabbily elegant .sx It was a pink stucco confection with an ornate iron balustrade .sx Inside , it had been thoughtfully furnished with early French pieces .sx We found the key , as directed , under a plantpot on the terrace .sx I remember my happiness .sx .. and my sadness , too .sx And as if sensing both , Raul turned to me and said gently , " It wasn't meant to be like this , Genevieve .sx " .sx " I know .sx " I laid my head on his chest .sx .sx " Are you sure ?sx " His hand cupped my chin , his eyes searched my face anxiously .sx " How long have we got ?sx " I asked by way of reply .sx " Four days , " he said , drawing me to him .sx Yet it all sped by so quickly in a welter of laughter and teasing and love .sx .. On that last night together , Raul turned to me to say sadly , " When all this madness is over , we'll come back here , Genevieve .sx We'll buy this house , get married .sx Our children will play free in the gardens .sx " .sx I couldn't for the life of me reply .sx Instead I thrust back the tears and my searching had found his .sx It was just a dream , that's all .sx Who knew what tomorrow would bring ?sx So many people were lost to us , my own parents included , in circumstances I cannot to this day bear to think about .sx I was 17 in years and 70 in experience .sx All I had left to hold on to and love was Raul .sx .. and there were times when he was forced to leave me for days on end .sx Days and nights when I could scarcely eat or sleep for fear of what was happening .sx He never said where he went , what he did , and I never asked .sx It wasn't safe to know .sx That was the world we lived in .sx I had vowed not to sleep that night .sx I wanted to hold every precious second , store it to memory .sx But weariness eventually won and sleep claimed me .sx It must have been a sixth sense that woke me .sx Raul was standing by the bed , looking down at me .sx The moon that lit the room shone full on his face .sx his eyes held a message for me .sx Unfathomable , in the language I couldn't understand .sx " What is it ?sx " I sat upright in bed .sx " What's the matter ?sx " .sx " It's all right .sx " He leaned over and kissed my cheek .sx " Go back to sleep .sx " .sx " You're .sx .. you're leaving , " I said dully .sx " Please , Genevieve .sx " He closed his eyes .sx " Don't ask questions .sx Just listen .sx Don't go home again .sx Stay here and wait .sx Someone will come for you .sx A friend .sx Go with him .sx He'll take you to a safe house .sx Do exactly as he says .sx I want you to promise .sx " .sx " Oh , Raul , " I buried my face in my hands .sx He held me close and whispered sadly , " I love you , Genevieve - always remember that .sx " .sx " Don't leave me !sx " I clung to him , weeping .sx " Don't leave me !sx " .sx " You'll be safe .sx " He stroked my hair .sx " And I'll find you again .sx I promise .sx " .sx And then he was gone .sx Alone and afraid , I waited .sx I don't know how much time passed before I became aware of a noise on the kitchen .sx I crept downstaris , heart hammering , then stopped short in the kitchen doorway , the breath leaving my body .sx A strange man sat at the kitchen table , drinking coffee substitute .sx At my entrance , he grimaced and , indicating the cup commented , " Filthy stuff !sx " .sx " Who .sx .. " I swallowed and pulled my wrap tighter .sx .. who are you ?sx " .sx " Don't be alarmed , Miss Derain .sx I'm a friend , " he replied evasively .sx " Where's .sx .. where's Raul ?sx " The question burst out of me .sx His eyes shifted as he said , " I'm afraid I can't answer that question either .sx But I would like you to get dressed , please .sx Dark clothes and strong walking shoes .sx I have to go out for a while but I'll be back soon .sx Just be ready .sx .. in case .sx " .sx " In case of what ?sx " My voice rose .sx " Just be ready .sx " He smiled and was gone .sx Shivering with fear , I dressed and then sat and waited .sx It seemed an age before he returned .sx I sat bolt upright , my heart crying , Oh , Raul , where are you ?sx What's happening ?sx .sx The first streaks of dawn were piercing the darkness when he returned .sx His face was pale as he said abruptly , " You're ready - good .sx Come on , we have to get out of here .sx " .sx " I don't understand !sx " I cried .sx " You're going too fast for me !sx Where's Raul ?sx What's happening ?sx I won't leave until you tell me .sx " .sx He seemed to hesitate and then with urgency said , " Last night a munitions train on the way to Antibes was sabotaged by the partisans .sx It all went dreadfully wrong .sx There have been .sx .. reprisals .sx " .sx I had always known , deep in my heart , the reasons for Raul's absences , for the men who came in the still of the night and spoke in furtive whispers before creeping away again .sx There were questions I had never dared ask , answers that lay unspoken between us .sx But now it as all staring me in the face and I could no longer play a game of make-believe .sx Slow tears fell from my eyes and rolled down my face .sx " All hell's broken loose , " the stranger was saying .sx " I had hoped we could hide out here and leave after curfew under the cover of darkness , but now .sx .. " .sx His voice tailed away and then he urged , " Come on , we have to get out of here !sx It's not safe any more .sx " .sx " Who are you ?sx " My eyes met his and he shrugged and replied , " I don't suppose it matters now .sx You might as well know because it won't make any difference if we're caught .sx I'm Major Charles Anderson .sx " .sx " You're English !sx " I stared at him .sx " But - but your French is faultless !sx " .sx He smiled ruefully and said , " That's why I'm here .sx " .sx four-stars .sx To my last breath , I will remember the faces of those good people who risked their lives to help us on our way .sx The kindness , the courage , the sheer unselfishness we encountered lives on in my heart .sx Because if war brings out the worst in people , then it also brings out the best .sx I didn't think we'd survive .sx There were times when I didn't even want to survive .sx Fear is a terrible companion .sx I vividly recall our last 'guide,' the one who took us over the mountains into Spain .sx He was just a boy , 14 perhaps , 15 at the most .sx I can still see his face and often wonder what became of him .sx I like to think he lived on , married , had children and a wife who loved him dearly .sx Three months later , Charles and I landed in England .sx IT began slowly , a step-by-step process .sx Friendship and need blossomed into something stronger .sx Charles was a good man , a true friend to me .sx We had shared that terrible journey to safety , the weeks of hiding .sx I knew then that he had grown to love me .sx But he never spoke of his feelings .sx He waited until after the war and then spent a long futile year desperately trying to find out what had happened to Raul .sx But Europe was in chaos , a sea of human flotsam on the move .sx He found no trace and in the end , I begged him to stop .sx " I'm sorry , Jenny .sx " He took my hands in his and I smiled and said , " You tried , Charles , and I thank you for that .sx " .sx His eyes swept over my face and then , taking a deep breath , he asked gently , " Will you marry me , Jenny ?sx " .sx I looked into his dear face and for a brief moment I remembered those few short nights I'd shared with Raul , when passion and happiness were mine .sx But it was time to stop living in the past .sx Raul was lost and gone forever .sx Through Charles , I had learned just to be glad to be alive .sx Married to him , my mind would be calm again , my heart at peace .sx And if my love for him wasn't the same love I had experience for Raul , then it was love for all that .sx " Yes,' " I breathed , going to him .sx " Oh , yes !sx " .sx So we were married and we were happy together .sx We shared 42 years and then Charles became ill .sx After that , we drew even closer together , savouring the brief time left to us .sx " No regrets ?sx " he once asked me , very near the end .sx " How could I regret loving you ?sx " I replied emotionally .sx " You've been everything to me !sx " .sx It was the first and only time in our lives together I was ever to see him cry .sx I was lost without him , totally bereft .sx Charles had been a gentle man , yet a brave one .sx Now I had lost him .sx And my heart was truly broken .sx four-stars .sx Exeter , 1991 .sx " I told you .sx " I faced my son calmly .sx " He's an old friend , from way back .sx I'd like you to meet him , for my sake .sx " .sx I could almost smell his disapproval and , as if reading my mind , he thrust his fingers through his hair and said brusquely , " This - this stranger comes here , completely out of the blue and the next thing you're telling me is that you're going to France with him !sx I can't believe it , Mum .sx " .sx " It's only for a weekend , dear , " I explained gently .sx " Have you thought what people will say ?sx " he demanded .sx " To be perfectly frank , I don't care what people say .sx " I stiffened and met his stare .sx " It's my life .sx I have no intentions of living it to suit other people .sx I want to live for myself .sx " .sx " Swanning off with this French fellow ?sx Is that what you call living for yourself ?sx " He was aghast .sx " I tell you I can't believe it .sx It's - it's not right .sx It looks as though you've , well , that you've forgotten Dad .sx " .sx " Don't you dare bring your father into this !sx " Tears pricked my eyes .sx " I don't owe you any kind of explanation even if you think I do , but I will say this .sx " I was a good and loyal wife to your father .sx I was everything he wanted me to be and .sx .. and I loved him .sx " We were so happy together .sx I don't think you can even begin to imagine how lonely I am without him - I miss him so .sx " .sx