CHAPTER SEVEN .sx WHY was human nature so fickle and inconstant ?sx Jenny wondered .sx Why was it that , as soon as Leo Trenthan had professed no interest in her , she began to think of him constantly ?sx She wavered between reassuring herself that she had been right to speak to him so sharply , to wondering why she had rejected him so finally , especially when there was , without a doubt , as he had said , something there .sx But you couldn't let sexual attraction rule your life , could you ?sx Taking it to its logical conclusion , she might have gone out with him a few times , probably have gone to bed with him , and then what ?sx The basic differences between them would have reared their heads sooner or later , and he would have been off to his next job , with her waving a hankie at the gate of her cottage .sx And wasn't she assuming a lot ?sx They might not necessarily have gone to bed .sx But the shiver and the gap which appeared in her self-analysis told her that you might be able to fool other people , but you couldn't fool yourself .sx Look how she'd been with him that day , after just one kiss .sx She brushed her hair furiously .sx Dwelling on what had happened wasn't going to change anything .sx He wasn't going to be there forever , was he ?sx What had her mother always told her ?sx That men were nothing but trouble - and she should know !sx .sx But then something happened to make her revise her opinion of Leo Trentham as a troublemaker .sx She had a letter from Judy , post-marked St Lucia .sx It was a long letter , beginning with an apology for having left in such a hurry .sx David and I were thinking of a change for a long time , particularly once we knew that early retirement for him was an option .sx The chance came to go , and we took it !sx It all happened so quickly , and Penny needs us ; the scan says that the baby looks fine !sx .sx But also , Jenny , I had been discontented for some time - I felt as though I had been doing the same thing for all my life , which I suppose I had !sx Dr Marlow's death came as such a shock , but it seemed a natural time for me to go , particularly as I could see that there were likely to be all kinds of changes with the arrival of the new doctor .sx I can't imagine how you'll get on with him - he seems very dynamic !sx - but I know you'll give him a chance !sx .sx Harry's death was very sudden , and very sad - Sonia Walker wanted to trace you , but Dr Trentham was against it , and I agreed with him .sx You needed the rest badly - you should get away more often .sx You only have one life , Jenny , and you must live it as you want - not as your mother or anyone else wanted .sx I always felt that perhaps we weren't as innovative on the ward as we might have been , more out of habit than anything else .sx Your mother and Harry were a great team , but in a way it might be easier for you now , with someone new to work with .sx If only she knew , thought Jenny .sx The rest of the letter was news of their travels , but she scarcely registered the words ; her thoughts were all taken up with the opening part of the letter .sx It had been couched differently , but the words could have been Leo's own .sx Judy had been gentle , but there was no mistaking the admonishment - reluctant to change , lack of innovation .sx .. Had she really been so bound by her mother's influence , never daring to try anything new ?sx And Judy had even agreed that she had backed Leo in not wanting to recall her from her holiday .sx Whatever else Leo had done , he had certainly not driven Judy away .sx Her face burned as she remembered accusing him - and he had not troubled to deny it .sx Why ?sx The day she received the letter she could hardly bear to look at him - she felt so ashamed , and she thought that he glanced at her oddly a couple of times .sx She wanted to tell him that she'd misjudged him , but she didn't know how to approach it , and the longer she left it , the harder it became .sx She just couldn't face him .sx But India Westwood certainly had no similar hang-ups about facing him , and whenever Leo was on the ward India was never far from his side .sx Jenny watched as she cornered him in the office one day , batting the lashes of those pale eyes as she finished telling him about the laminectomy case she had spent the morning caring for , and he nodded as he listened intently .sx At the end of the discourse she twinkled up at him .sx " You're off this weekend , aren't you , Leo ?sx What a coincidence - so am I !sx " She rushed on .sx " I've got some tickets for a rock concert in Bath .sx D'you fancy coming ?sx " .sx Leo's expression didn't change , and then he gave India one of his lazy smiles .sx " Have to refuse , India - but thanks , anyway .sx " It was so smooth it couldn't possibly have given offence .sx " Oh !sx " India looked rather taken aback and very , very disappointed , and perhaps he sensed it , for he moved out on to the ward before either of the two girls had really noticed that he had gone .sx To Jenny's surprise and - astonishingly enough - relief , he appeared to have forgotten his angry outburst the other day , and he carried on as normal with her , whatever normal might be .sx She had to admit that he seemed to be an unusually uncomplicated kind of person , totally without guile or front .sx She wondered why more people weren't like him , but , there again , it might be difficult if everyone were so honest - how on earth would politicians manage ?sx Then she started thinking - what if he had meant it when he'd told her that he thought he was in love with her ?sx She sighed .sx Even if he had , it was too late now .sx She'd blown it .sx She began to realise that maybe she had been unnecessarily hostile to him when he had first arrived .sx It was just that she hadn't known how to respond to someone like him .sx She began to make a real effort to be nice to him , which she actually found very easy .sx If he noticed he said nothing , though she could have sworn that she saw an eyebrow raised the first time it happened .sx After a week or so of this unacknowledged laying down of arms she actually began to look forward to coming in to work .sx One morning he came in to do his round before operating , and she was struck by how utterly exhausted he looked .sx He had great shadows under his eyes , and lines of weariness were drawn deep around the normally smiling mouth .sx Burning the candle at both ends , no doubt , she thought automatically , but her face was soft with concern as she observed him .sx She disappeared to the kitchen , her neat rubber - soled shoes making no sound on the shiny floor , and seconds later she had put a large mug of strong tea before him .sx He looked up at her and blinked .sx " What's this ?sx " .sx " The milk of human kindness !sx " she quipped without thinking , and his eyes widened .sx " She joked !sx She definitely did , and I definitely heard her !sx Jenny Hughes has been caught trying to boost the morale of her flagging registrar , " he teased .sx