Chapter Four .sx GOING TO THE PARTY .sx OFFICIAL BOOZE UP .sx Whilst Geoffrey was being pursued by murderers and discovering the theft of his television , Sam Turk , the man responsible for this mystifying harrassment sic !sx , was in the back of a luxury car on his way to Brighton .sx Starting on the morrow , Brighton was to play host to a Party Political Conference , or Party Political Piss-up as the more honest politician would concede .sx There is a similar institution in the world of marketing , it is called a 'sales conference' which , despite its business-like title , is a corporate institution whereby the staff get the opportunity to become legless at the company's expense and the sales reps have a chance to try and shag the secretaries .sx Of course this is denied absolutely when the Inland Revenue queries the drinks bill .sx Then much corporate gobbledegook is spouted concerning 'late night policy sessions' , 'target dinners' and 'strike-unit damage control briefings' .sx None the less , the sales conference is a piss-up .sx And why not ?sx It is a small reward , a chance to get out of the Ford Sierra and into the bar ; to get away from the typewriter and into a little black cocktail number .sx It forges esprit de corps .sx The Japanese have their company songs and exercise sessions ; the British have their eleven pints of lager and at 3 a.m. attempt to break into the hotel swimming pool .sx People need a chance to express themselves .sx Party Conferences are the political world's equivalent of these fine corporate institutions .sx The only difference being that they last a week and provide an excellent opportunity for behind the scenes wheeler-dealing .sx This was why Sam Turk was going to Brighton .sx KILLER ON THE LOOSE .sx Sam was not a politician , not in the elected sense anyway .sx But he certainly dealt in power .sx He was a carmaker .sx He worked for Global Motors , a US based multi-national auto manufacturing company , and he had come to London the previous year with the declared intention of kicking some English bottoms at Global Motors UK .sx The British motor industry , as Sam well knew , was still residing in the 1920s which , considering the US motor industry had made it as far as the 1950s , meant that Sam had a lot of work to do .sx The Japanese motor industry is , of course in the 1990s .sx It was Global Motors's secret target that by the year 2015 , they would be in the 1990s too .sx For the moment however cars were not on Sam's mind , but killing was .sx In his briefcase lay hidden the most exciting designs that he had ever come across .sx However , in order for Sam to realize their full potential , he needed their creator dead .sx " D'yah knock out the professor guy ?sx " Sam asked Springer , his loyal Lieutenant of many years .sx Springer winced a little at this abrupt enquiry .sx He had not enjoyed the task of organizing a murder one little bit .sx In fact he had for the first time in all his loyal service attempted to defy Sam .sx It was only after Sam had reluctantly shared the momentous secrets of the plans with him that Springer had steeled himself to the task .sx It was immediately clear to Springer that the good of the company , indeed the good of the entire economy of the United States , might be at stake .sx " I guess he must have bought the farm by now , " Springer replied .sx He had served in Korea and loved to talk like a soldier .sx Sam nodded with a grim satisfaction , none the less , he could not help but feel a pang of something .sx One wouldn't go so far as to say it was actual remorse , but it was definitely regret .sx Sam had led a pretty rough life in the paranoid world of the US motor industry and he had done wicked and unpleasant things .sx But he had never before had anybody killed .sx " I can't help feeling that bumping the guy off was wrong , " he said .sx Springer was surprised , it was most unusual for his boss to be tormented by doubt .sx " I can get the driver to haul ass to a church boss .sx It might be best to let a priest handle this , " he said sympathetically .sx " I ain't talking morally wrong , " said Sam .sx " We had a serious situation , and we made a move .sx That's business , that's what I'm paid to do , my conscience is clear .sx But was it the right move I ask myself ?sx Death is kind of radical .sx I still can't believe we couldn'a bought the damn thing off the little fuck'n' brain box .sx " .sx " I'm telling you Sir , there's no way he would have sold , " said Springer .sx " We ran a full background make on the guy , major reconnaissance .sx He's a public transport nut , he hates private cars , reckons we should all be sat behind each other on stinking buses , picking the chewing gum off our pants .sx " .sx " Mother of God ain't people sick ?sx " said Sam in disgust .sx " The guy's probably into free love too .sx " .sx " I guess he would be at that , " Springer agreed .sx " You want someone like that having the right to ball your old lady ?sx " Sam was working himself up into a fine state of self-justification .sx " Smoking his pot and corrupting college kids ?sx He got what was his .sx We did the world a favour .sx " .sx " We had to do it , Sir , " Springer affirmed .sx " His invention in the wrong hands could take out our entire operation .sx They'd be sending Global Motors home in a body bag .sx " .sx This last analogy was sufficiently ghoulish to reconcentrate the minds of the two men on the human cost of their business decisions .sx They lapsed into a brief silence .sx " Yeah , " said Sam eventually .sx " The little commie sure had it coming .sx " .sx DELAYS The knock-on effects of the protest rally which had impeded Geoffrey's escape continued to paralyse part of London .sx Traffic jams are strange things , the resonate .sx As when a stone is dropped in a pond , the matter does not end with the initial plop .sx Six feet away some frog in a lily gets a series of rhythmic ripples up the back flap and hops off going ribbit and looking for something semi-aquatic to shag .sx It is the same with traffic .sx It's quite possible for a person to miss a train at Waterloo because half an hour previously a one-driver bus on the Strand was confronted with someone who didn't speak English , only had a twenty pound note and wanted to be taken somewhere that provided traditional English scenes , haddock and tea-time .sx Traffic jams never actually end , they merely expand and contract , merging into one another , endlessly connected by frustration and grinding synchromesh .sx There is a little bit of the very first traffic jam in every one that has happened since .sx Sam was caught up in the ripple effect .sx His car , like his industry , was at a standstill and he was getting impatient .sx " Jeez , " he barked , lowering the electric window which separated him from the driver .sx " I never seen the city this bad .sx It's Sunday goddamit , doesn't anyone in this damn country worship the lord any more ?sx What the hell's going on ?sx " The driver explained that the traffic was particularly bad that day because there had been a huge protest rally in Hyde Park and the effects had fanned out across the city .sx " A protest rally ?sx What , like a hippy thing ?sx " gasped Sam in astonishment .sx " I don't believe this fucking country !sx It's like it never left the middle ages !sx A protest rally !sx What's there to protest about , there ain't no war or anything ?sx Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel .sx The whole of Eastern Europe comes to its senses and kids in the West are still shouting about Ho Chi Minh .sx " .sx The driver explained to Sam that the protest was to do with the suspected new road plans for London and the South-East of England .sx Sam knew all about these plans .sx In his capacity as boss of Global Motors UK he was on very close acquaintance with Digby Parkhurst , the Minister for Transport and whole-heartedly supported his policies .sx This was something which Digby took great pleasure in .sx It did not occur to Digby that it was perhaps a little unhealthy for a person whose function was to represent the best interests of the people in the area of transport , to be quite so close to one of the country's largest car manufacturers .sx Sam was delighted .sx " A protest about the road plans !sx Well that's great , " he cried .sx " That is my kind of protest .sx What is it , they don't think it's radical enough ?sx I told that stupid son of a bitch Parkhurst that nobody gives a damn about Nelson's column .sx " .sx The driver was forced to disillusion Sam as to the political slant of the march .sx " Objecting to roads !sx " said Sam in astonishment .sx " But that's crazy !sx What are they gonna object to next ?sx Food ?sx Don't they want to be able to get from A to B !sx " .sx " I think that they're concerned that there should still be an A to come from an A to come from and a B to go to Sir , " replied the driver who cherished his individualism .sx " What did he say ?sx " enquired Sam who , as was his wont , had only been asking a rhetorical question .sx " I think he said that he'd better button his lip or get fired , " said Springer , raising the sound-proofed electric window again .sx Sam looked sadly out at the rag-bag of protestors making their way home .sx " I don't know , " he said wearily .sx " People .sx You try to make a better world for them , and what do they do ?sx Throw ball-bearings under police horses .sx " .sx It was while Sam was having this philosophical ponder on the ingratitude of 'the little fellow' that Springer's personal phone rang .sx " This is it Boss .sx News from the dead professor , " said Springer .sx " You got hit-men calling you here ?sx In my car !sx " replied an astonished Sam .sx " Relax , " said Springer .sx " This is a brand new portable phone , after this call I chuck it in a river .sx " He answered the phone .sx " What's he say ?sx What's he say ?sx " Sam demanded impatiently .sx Springer's face had fallen .sx " He says the Gerbil is still twitching .sx " .sx " And why did he say that ?sx " asked Sam , not unreasonably .sx " Because the guy ain't dead yet .sx They missed him , " Springer admitted .sx Sam grabbed the phone in a fury .sx " Now listen here , you lazy , Limey fruit !sx " he shouted .sx " When I employ tradesmen I expect them to get the job done and get outa my face , not to ring my car to say some hampster is still doing the rumba .sx What you doin' you English fuck ?sx Taking a tea-break ?sx On a frigging strike ?sx Jesus Christ , what is it with you English ?sx You can't make cars , you can't kill people , how the hell d'you ever get yourselves an empire ?sx I'll tell you how , you got the Scots do it for you !sx That's how .sx " .sx " Pardonnez moi , monsieur , " said the impeccably polite French voice of the contract killer on the end of the line .sx " I'm an Anatole Chiraud of Euro Despatch and I can assure you that the gerbil which you require to be sedated has only been briefly mislaid .sx The contract will be completed as soon as possible .sx " .sx The line went dead , leaving Sam frustrated and bemused .sx " A French hit-man ?sx " said Sam .sx " What is he going to do , breathe on the guy ?sx " .sx CONCRETE AND STEEL .sx Digby Parkhurst , the Minister for Transport , friend of Sam Turk and the man at whose image the students had spent the afternoon chanting " Out out out " , was preparing for his departure to the conference at Brighton .sx He was a little sad because he was going to have to leave his beloved models behind him .sx They were beautiful models , mounted on trestle tables all through his department , and he loved to touch them .sx He loved to feel the long , grey ribbons and stick his fingers in the tiny little tunnels .sx The models were of bits of the British Isles , although a native of those same islands would have been hard to put to recognize them as such .sx Hills had been removed , villages relocated , lochs drained , and in their place were roads - long , empty , beautiful roads .sx